This is sorta a memento for myself so is quite long and truthful. Samuel is Oliver's big brother.
The Arrival of Oliver Trevor Thackwray!
Your due date was April 19th 2009. You decided to be late. It was the 20th April 2009 I went to my antenatal appointment where the midwife booked me in to be induced on the 29th April 2009 at 7.00am by artificial rupture of membranes. She sent me up to be assessed and I ended up getting a stretch and sweep to get things moving. I was already 3cms dilated. Nothing happened we were waiting and waiting.
Finally the 29th April 2009 came along. It was 6.30am in the morning when we left our house to go to the hospital. We took Samuel to Grandmas then we were off. We were so excited and so scared and nervous. I just wanted everything to be ok and to go smoothly.
We got to the hospital and had to wait in the waiting room for about an hour. We were finally seen at 9.00am. I had to have a canular put in and receive antibiotics. I had a trainee ambulance guy do this and he missed my vein twice. Finally a midwife came and did it. I had to wait until the antibiotics were in before I could go to the ward. It was then decided I would have the gels again as my cervix was high and not favourable. These were inserted and we were sent off to the ward. When we got there 10 mins later my contractions started. They were 3.5 mins apart. The contractions felt very strong and painful. I got in the shower and let the water run over my back. Half an hour later I was ready to go to the birth suite. I ate a couple of biscuits. The midwife came to assess me and my contractions were 3 mins apart she said I had to have 3 in 10 mins which I did so off we went to the birth room. It was 11.00am. When we got there I undressed and got into the bath. It didn?t feel right so I got back onto the chair with the hot water running down my back and Trev rubbing in circles. The contractions were bearable.
It was 2.30 and the midwife and dr were coming to check on me. I though t I must be nearly ready to push. The contractions were so painful. The midwife did an internal and couldn?t find my cervix. The doctor had a go and found I was only 4cms dilated. I could of cried. It was decided my waters would be broken to get things happening. I was asked if I wanted some pethidine. I felt like I wasn?t coping at all and that the contractions were so strong, I couldn?t believe id only dilated a cm in 5 hours. The midwife explained I was just having a reaction to the gels and wasn?t really in labour. I was petrified but decided to hold off on the drugs for an hour. I thought I can do this. I?ve done it before. I just didn?t remember it being this painful.
I got back into the shower. I was so tired and scared and just overly wasn?t coping. The water wasn?t hot enough. Trev wasn?t rubbing my back right. I had envisioned a calm drug free birth and it was turning out completely the opposite. I was shattered and all my confidence had gone out the window. I then reached out to Trev and told him I wasn?t coping I couldn?t do this. And he reminded me about what I wanted and that I could do this. I put my head down onto that chair and decided I didn?t need drugs and that I was determined to ride this through to the end.
The next hour was the most challenging. I was breathing deeply through every contraction. envisioning Samuel?s face, smiles and memories of us together to get me through every one of them. I could feel the start, build up and finish of them and it was so tiring. To get through at the end I started to thrash my head about on my hands that were resting on the top of the chair that I was sitting on backwards under the shower. It was a funny sight if you didn?t know what pain I was in. As soon as I felt one coming on I would start to move my head side to side and breathe and imagine Samuel and constantly say to myself ? I?m determined, I?m determined, I?m determined!? then the contraction would end and I would just close my eyes and concentrate on my baby and meeting him. Things started to calm down and my contractions started to be a little longer in between. I also felt a strange calmness or tiredness I don?t know but it was a welcome break. This is when I knew I was in transition and my labour was nearing the end.
I asked Trev the time. He said it was quarter to 4 and that the midwife would be coming in very soon. I thought thank god this is taking forever. About 2 contractions later I had a massive urge to push and it sat me upright and I just pushed my heart out uncontrollably. I yelled to Trev ?you need to get the midwife I?m pushing? I stood up a tiny bit and there was blood everywhere on the chair. This is how I knew it was time to push. I hobbled over to the bed. On my way the midwives came in and started to prepare. I looked up and it was Carolyn Bird the lady that had delivered Samuel. It felt so good to see a familiar face I just couldn?t believe it. I told her I didn?t want to tear and that I couldn?t feel my contractions anymore. She said just push when you want and reassured me everything was fine.
I started to push. I felt like I didn?t know what I was doing. Whatever I was doing was working though because I started to feel that familiar burn. I started to freak out and completely stopped pushing. Through 2 contractions I didn?t push at all. My contraction pushed for me. I felt like an idiot that id come this far to only be so scared and not want to push. It was weird. I then looked at Trev and the midwives and thought ok calm down I can do this. It was then I started to breathe and push gently and before I knew it your head was there. I had to give a biggish push and your head was out, oh my it hurt. Carolyn asked me to push one big push while she pulled your body out. I felt like my guts were being pulled from my body. ?One small one now? she said. And you were here at 4.29am ?Whoa what a big boy? Carolyn said. I was stoked I couldn?t believe you were here. I said to Trev I can?t believe we did this together. He is so beautiful. I couldn?t stop repeating it. You were perfect and I was so proud. You were placed on me for some skin to skin and Carolyn asked your Daddy to cut the cord. It was so thick and your dad cut it really well.
You then had your first feed and latched on like a pro. You were so big and warm and covered in inch thick vernix it was gross. I didn?t care. The midwife came back to weigh you and you were 4226g, 9 lb 5oz I was shocked you were huge and cuddly. Trev rang his mum and I rang my parents and they were all coming to meet you in about an hour. Grandma was bringing Samuel into meet his new little brother who he'd nicknamed Saucy. I had a shower and some dinner and off we went to the ward. You slept like an angel. <3
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