Daisy's Backyard Birth **Long but worth the read**
Hi all,
Here 'tis- my birth story. And I know, my MIL did a good job, but I'm a little sensitive about here atm (topic for a whole other thread) so i don't want to hear how great she is right now, if that's ok.
Enjoy the read. Writing it down was lovely and made me cry
I'd been having BH contractions for days before labour started, but I was more than happy to wait a week or two for this baby- ds had a shocking case of tonsillitis and had been running a temperature for 4 days straight. Thursday night, I started to feel contractions again, but this time they came with a pain in my lower back. I was lying in bed hoping they'd stop, because ds still wasn't very well and I didn't want to run out and leave him without his mummy when he was so sick.
Amazingly, the pain stopped for long enough so that we all got a good night's sleep- a rarity in this house as it is. We all woke at 6am Friday morning and the first thing I did was check ds for a fever. He was looking better for the first time in days, and my body seemed to know that it was ok to start labouring again- the first contraction came just seconds after we hopped out of bed.
I knew I was definitely in labour, but I thought I had hours to go. The pains weren't as regular as I thought they'd be- 3 minutes, then 8 minutes, then 2 minutes. I took that as sign that I had plenty of time and told dh he was right to go off to work, and I'd probably call him in an hour or two. I rang my mw who asked if I was ok at home for a bit longer and told me to take a bath. I just tried to get on with our normal morning routine, stopping every few minutes to breath through the pain. After half an hour, I was starting to feel faint and break out in a cold sweat at the end of every contraction, and I thought I'd better get myself together and get to the hospital. I rang dh and told him to turn around and come back home, and rang my MIL to come and mind ds.
MIL was here within ten minutes- ds was comfortably munching on toast and watching Bob the Builder in the lounge room. I was just trying to walk and breathe my way through the pain, and ignore MIL telling me to "Breathe" and how she never went through this because she had epidural (wtf?? Leave me alone!!).
So contractions every two minutes, lasting up to a minute, and dh still nowhere in sight. He was actually stuck in traffic on the carpark that is the M5. I was by that time doing laps of the backyard, reminding myself that this was pain with a purpose, that each contraction was one closer to having my baby, that it wouldn't last forever, that I'd have a baby by midday.
And here's where things get blurry Dh finally got home at about 7:45, grabbed my bags and tried to get me into the car. I remember standing, looking at the car, and feeling tears come to my eyes. I just couldn't sit down. It wasn't happening. No way. I told dh as much and started to walk back inside. Being the cranky panicker he is, he started yelling at me that I had to go to hospital, it was the 'safest place'. That really ticked me off for some reason. As I walked through our back gate, another contraction bought me to my knees and I felt something 'pop' and a bit of fluid. I started screaming at dh that I wasn't going to make it to the hospital, this was it, I was having the baby now.
My MIL rang an ambulance, dh went inside for something, and I was pacing the yard and garage. I remember at one point crying for drugs, for my mum, for dh, for anything to make it stop. The pressure in my back was incredible and I could feel the baby slipping lower and lower. Dh came and found me as another pain bought me to the ground, and pulled my pants down to my knees. He could see just the tiniest bit of the baby's head and called out for his mum, while he took ds and waited out the front for the ambulance (and yep, he admits he acted like a big girl but told me it was 'secret women's business').
So I was on my hands and knees in the backyard, contractions coming thick and fast, with this amazing urge to push. I remember my MIL trying to get me to crawl back inside, but there was no way that was happening. All through this labour, the pain had been pushing me to go outside; there was no going in now. And I think subconsciously I didn't want ds to see me in pain.
I remember talking to the 000 operator at one point, her asking my name, telling me to tell her when the next contraction started. I replied "now" and threw the phone back at my MIL. MIL got towels to put down, and a folded up doona for me to use as pillows. The 000 lady via MIL were trying to get me lay on my back (I think to slow the labour down) but there was no freaking way I was getting on my back, and I'm so glad there was no one there to force me to like last time.
The last part happened so quickly. I told me MIL to kill me at one point, and she tried to rub my back and I said
"Don't f***ing touch me!" I told her I couldn't do this and she, after a second, repeated what the 000 woman told her to say- "You can do this, you've done it before, you can do it again. At the end of this you will have another baby". I screamed at her that I didn't want another f***ing baby.
Then, in between contractions, I had one of those rare moments of perfect clarity. I remember my vision going perfectly clear, and I said to myself "If you can do this, you will be so proud of yourself. You can do this. And besides, when it's all over you can finally have a guilt free cigarette" (yep, I know, irrational, but it got me through).
I said out loud "I can do this" and pushed. MIL had her hand on the baby's head, holding it so I didn't tear. With that push the baby crowned, the next one was almost immediate and the head was out. There was another second of calm and then another push and I felt the enormous satisfaction and relief of having just birthed a baby. Daisy Matilda cruised into the world at 8:09am, just under two hours after labour started.
MIL caught her (good thing too, or she would have gone head first into the concrete) and I turned over and she passed her to me. The cord was so short I could only get her as far as my bellybutton, but that was ok. She was a little blue, but started to pink up almost straight away. MIL called dh who ran out with ds. I can't remember what else happened there, I was so transfixed by this baby and in awe of what I'd just done.
The ambulance turned up five minutes later, and they were lovely blokes. They clamped and cut the cord, which was ok with me because I wouldn?t have been able to attach bubs to the breast with it intact anyway. For some reason, my MIL ended up with Daisy with a few minutes which ticked me off, but I soon got her back and spent the ambulance ride unable to take my eyes off her or the smile off my face.
We met our lovely mw at the hospital, delivered the placenta naturally (which I could have done in the ambulance, but the ambos weren't too keen on the idea) and had a few beautiful hours with Daisy, nude and unwrapped, on my chest, with dh and I admiring her and riding the high. Eventually she was weighed- so tiny, only 2520- and given and oral dose of Vitamin K. It just didn't feel right, after having her so naturally, to start sticking her with needles. I got one stitch- the same place as last time, and despite all my natural birthing, I had gas for that because it was agonizing. We were discharged 5 hours later and came home still on top of the world.
What I wanted from this birth was to be in control, and that is exactly what I got. I was in control; I knew exactly what my body was doing. I was so confident in myself through most of the labour, and the thought that something might go wrong never even occurred to me. I wasn't scared of the birthing part; I was looking forward to it. I never thought I'd be able to birth naturally, and if I'd had the option, the gas would have been mine, all mine but I am so glad I did- that moment of clarity I experienced was breath taking and I'm not sure I would have got that had I been off my face.
It was such an incredible experience and the best bit is its mine- I did this, I own it. And goddamn it, I deserve this baby, I earnt her, I did all the hard work to get her here, all by myself. I have never been prouder of anything. And she was so worth every second of pain.
Just call me amazon woman, goddess of the garden, queen of the backyard birth...
Last edited by Lolli; November 13th, 2009 at 03:42 PM.
: To make it look pretty before i link it to my sig :)
You've made me bawl!! That is so beautiful LR - totally awesome. Well done hun - what a fantastic job you and what an amazing experience. And what a beautiful story to tell your DD in the years to come.
Ok then, "amazon woman, goddess of the garden, queen of the backyard birth... " - that's EXACTLY what I want to call you!
So proud of you for sticking to what your instinct was driving you to do!
A birth support person your MiL does not make Great you could largely block her out of proceedings. And good that DH recognised you didn't need him...and to SHUT UP about hospitals being 'safer'!
Above all, I'm so glad you got to move about how YOU felt like, without being told how to lie or sit or hold yourself
What an amazing birth story, thank you so much for sharing with us. Couldn't help but giggle at the having a cigarette part. Well done hun and welcome to the world little Daisy.
Daisy's Backyard Birth **Long but worth the read**
Dh finally got home at about 7:45, grabbed my bags and tried to get me into the car. I remember standing, looking at the car, and feeling tears come to my eyes. I just couldn't sit down. It wasn't happening. No way. I told dh as much and started to walk back inside. Being the cranky panicker he is, he started yelling at me that I had to go to hospital, it was the 'safest place'. That really ticked me off for some reason. As I walked through our back gate, another contraction bought me to my knees and I felt something 'pop' and a bit of fluid. I started screaming at dh that I wasn't going to make it to the hospital, this was it, I was having the baby now.
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