With lots of emotional turmoil through my pregnancy, my family and I decided on a repeat c section. Not an easy decision by any means, as this pregnancy was always a hope of a VBAC. But after many sleepless nights we decided to go down the CS path.


We had the CS booked for the 5th September with the hopes of going into labour before then. Labour never came? the 4th of September did.

I didn?t sleep much that night, I was a ball of nerves and sad that my first born little boy was not going to have his mummy all to himself, but I made myself feel better by reminding myself that I was going to give him the most amazing gift of all. A beautiful sibling.

At 3am, on the 5th I woke up and went and had a cup of coffee and sat on my couch in the dark alone and reflected on my life, on my family, and spent the last few hours feeling my baby move inside me for the last times. I needed this reflection, I needed this peaceful time alone. It was a difficult pregnancy, and I considered it my last.
I showered and cleaned myself with the pre-surgery sponge they had given me and shaved my legs and tried to shave other areas? but could not reach lol.

I woke my partner and told him it was time to get up and help me get my bags ready, I cried the whole time. I cried sad tears and happy tears, my life was going to change for ever. AGAIN!!

We put all my bags into the boot, and put the car seat in the car, I said a prayer for my home, and for my family and we left. I cried all the way to the hospital and all the way to the maternity ward. I was about to meet my baby.
The midwives led me to my room, and asked if I needed to be shaved, I said I think so as I couldn?t see it! They did their thing and were the most amazing midwives I had met, they actually felt like my peers. We were the first CS of the day, and they wheeled me down to theatre (again I was in tears) I was nervous about the spinal block and the needles and the catheter. Thankfully they agreed to put the catheter in after the spinal.

After a long wait, I finally went into the theatre room and was told to sit on the bed and arch my back like a cat, they inserted a local into my spine, this was the most unbearable pain I had ever felt, I screamed and cried and swore and begged them to stop! After approx 6 attempts they finally got the block in? my bottom went tingly and I immediately laid down.. The curtains were drawn and my partner was allowed to enter the room. I saw him. I cried that that was the most horrific experience that I had gone through. He held my hand and told me how proud he was of me. That was all I needed, and I refocused on the special event that was about to take place.

I felt them start, I felt the initial incision and the tugging and pulling, they were having difficulties getting through all the scar tissue. All of a sudden there was a rush to get the biggest man in the room to help push the baby out? He pushed hard on the top of my chest and pushed the baby down..

Minutes past and I couldn?t breath, I told my partner I couldn?t breath, my blood pressure was low and I was so scared?They told me the baby was nearly here.. I dint hear any crying for what felt like an eternity.
And then I heard it. The most sweet sound, my heart missed a beat and I burst into tears, I melted and fell in love all over again, I didn?t think I could fall in love again like I did with blake, but my heart suddenly expanded and I just loved wholey and unconditionally 2 babes!

The baby was placed on my bare chest, skin to skin! This is what I had hoped and dreamed of! And I got it, and it was beautiful, everything I could have hoped for. I looked at my new son, Blakes little brother. His head was red, and peeling off I was worried there was something wrong. But in that moment, all I wanted to do was kiss him.

So I did.


I sung happy birthday to him and we touched and kissed and felt each others heart beating.

I was stiched up and taken to recovery, Nathan was stripped down and so was I and placed near my breast, we carried out baby led attachment and within minutes he was suckling away, and it took him a long time to get off! I knew from that instant that he would be breast feeding perfectly. Again, all I had hoped for.
I thanked the midwives for being so damn amazing, and respectful of my needs during this birth, I deserved nothing less but when you are dealing with the hospital system, parents and babies normally loose.

So at 9.17am on the 5th December 2008 Nathan Keith entered our world weighing 8 pounds 4, 58.5 cm?s long and his head was 35 cms.
He had wonderful apgars, 9 and 9 and ts doing amazing.

So after 3 weeks my breast fed, co sleeping attacted baby is happy, healthy and loving being a part of the Williams family.