Arrived at the hospital at 6.30am on the morning of the 4th January to be admitted. DH was with me and so was my best friend Catherine who was coming into theatre with me as DH is a fainter - he fainted at both the boys' births so we thought it would be better if he waited outside theatre which he was more than happy to do considering what was going to be going on in there.
The anaesthetist then came in to speak with me and I relayed my previous two horrible experiences with an epidural and a spinal block and my anxiousness at having to have a spinal block again. He then tried to make me feel better by telling me different ways to sit while the spinal was being done and then he touched my back...
I immediately tensed up and burst into tears - I had a complete meltdown! The memories of the last anaesthetist/spinal block came flooding back and I was petrified. After being calmed down by the midwife, DH and Catherine my ob came in (Darling Dennis) and we had a bit of a chat and a giggle (he's a joker) and then it was show time!
I was still very anxious about the spinal block but knew that in order to meet our little man and have the birth I wanted and deserved I needed to just buck up and get on with it.
DH waited in pre-op fully gowned so he could come into theatre after the birth. I was wheeled into theatre while Catherine was taken to gown up while the spinal block was being done.
Con (the anaesthetist) layed me on my side to do the spinal (I think he was worried that if I sat up I would run!) and I had to try and put myself into a fetal position. One of the theatre guys helped me and let me squeeze his wrist if I wanted to. I focused on the second hand of the clock and tried to think of other things and finally it was over, a few tears but no screaming...done!
Catherine then came in with her camera and sat at my end holding my hand. I had my gloves put on and before I knew it it there was Dennis and we were underway.
Before Dennis could get Jacob's head, shoulders and arms out for me he had to find him...he retreated right up into my uterus and Dennis had to use forceps to get him out. I believe he was holding on to my uterus thinking "I've been listening to that crazy lot for the past 9 months and there's no way I'm coming out to that mad house!"
Catherine then made her way down to the 'business end' and said it was absolutely amazing. Dennis then guided my hands down and I felt him and saw him...my little man was in my hands! I slowly brought him up and towards me and then I had to stop while Dennis made sure the cord was coming with us. The feeling of absolute elation and relief as I saw this gorgeous little baby's body coming towards me was better than any feeling I've ever had in my life. There he was, finally and I was really doing it!
I layed him on my chest and from that moment on there was only us in the room. I was aware of the flashes from Catherine's camera but there were only two of us on this earth and I was overcome with such emotion and love.
The ped. checked Jacob out while he was on my chest and everything was great. I remember that I wanted to skin to skin contact but I was just so happy to have him in my arms everything else completely left my mind.
Eventually Jacob (who was still nameless at this stage) was taken over to the ped table and a thorough check was done. I could see him and I could hear him.
It was then that I could hear all of the words of congratulations coming from the staff and then DH was brought in.
We then decided on the name Jacob (we had thought Beau all along but he just didn't look like a Beau so Jacob it was!) and DH was given his first cuddle. He went into 'ugly cry' mode...tears, snot, the whole shebang...it was very cute.
With my focus completely on Jacob I didn't even realise when Dennis had finished and before I knew I was ready to go to recovery. Unfortunately Jacob couldn't come in with me but I knew he was with Catherine and DH so I wasn't worried but very anxious to get back to my room and hold him again. The recovery nurse didn't keep me for long...I think my pleas of "I'm fine, I'm fine...I need to go back to my room now" finally got too much for her and she relented.
As soon as I got back to the room I put Jacob on my breast and he took over - I was just along for the ride. It was like he'd done all this before and it's been like that ever since...we've succeeded at breastfeeding and we're going really well.
Jacob developed jaundice on the third day and had to have phototherapy for 24 hours but was fine after that.

I'm so glad that after being told by my old obstetrician that I 'couldn't' do a maternal assisted c/section that I fired him and found someone who would help me.
Jacob deserved the most natural and loving birth that I could give him, and I deserved a birth that I could look back on and have fond memories of. Memories of a birth, not a 'procedure'.
I hope that my story shows other mums who have been told that they have no other option than a c/section that they still can have a birth that they and their babies deserve, and that a c/section can be a fantastic, close and respectful birth first and foremost and not a medical procedure which results in a birth.

**There are a couple of pics (mainly the first and second) which may be a little too much for some**


Dennis and my belly!

Here he comes!

My hands are guided down to meet my little boy!

Nice angle!

Getting closer!

Safe in Mama's arms!

So happy!

First kiss!

Weighing in!

Snug as a bug!