To understand my third and final labour, I need to share a bit of background, before we reach the labour itself.
About a year ago, I suffered a miscarriage. It was late, just shy of 11 weeks, and I was completely unprepared. I guess no one is ever really prepared for these things, but I had no reason to think that I'd ever go through that. My heart broke, I grieved, my world shifted on it's axis and things haven't been quite the same since.
When I conceived again, I was petrified. I spent the first eight weeks in a state of heightened nervousness. I didn't join a Belly Buddies group, I didn't post an announcement, I told close family and two friends and that was it. I relaxed marginally when I saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks and began the process of trying to enjoy the pregnancy. I knew it would likely be my last and wanted to enjoy it and remember everything about it.
We passed 12 weeks and I thought things were going ok. I was booked into the Family Birth Centre where I had birthed DS1 and was looking forward to working with the midwives again. But then around 20 weeks, I had an emotional meltdown and realised I was still terrified that something would happen to the baby. I was struggling. I spent a wonderful, healing night with some close girlfriends - we talked, we cried, they held my hands and hugged me and prayed with me and for me and finally I felt like maybe things would be ok. I turned back to God, without even realising I'd been shutting Him out and asked Him to walk with me for the rest of my pregnancy.
Everything went ok for the next few months. I was suffering the usual pregnancy ailments, aches and pains but I knew they would all disappear once baby arrived. I reached 36 weeks and had to see an Obstetrician at the hospital due to "size concerns" given the large increase in size from DD to DS1 - 3.8kg to 4.8kg. I started panicking that I was going to be bumped into the normal hospital and face induction and all sorts of issues. My fears that something would go wrong started to resurface and I was feeling anxious and upset. The Obs I saw was great and reassured me that there was no reason I couldn't continue at the birth centre but I had to see her again if I reached 41 weeks (which I had with DS1).
38 weeks and I was starting to get over it. Running around after two high-energy kids was sapping me of what little energy I had. I couldn't get down on the floor easily and play with them. I would start out the day ok but by lunch time everything hurt and the kids bore the brunt of my emotional upset. I started asking God to bring the baby into our lives sooner rather than later. I was worried about the 41 week deadline. I was stressed about the baby being ok. I was over it.
39+5, DD got up in the morning and drew me a picture - it was a plan to get the baby out. She explained it to me and I had a chuckle - she was so keen to meet the baby. I had a check up and the midwife offered a stretch and sweep. I happily accepted and she gave things a good stir to try and kick me along. I'd had two sessions of acupuncture and was taking my raspberry leaf tablets. DH had never felt so loved up in his life! After my appointment, at home, DD came up to me while I was sitting on the couch and spoke to my tummy: "Baby, it is time to come out now. We want to meet you!" While laughing at her antics, I felt a little sad - obviously DD was as sick of mummy being pregnant as I was.
Blessedly, at 11pm I was getting ready for bed and felt a little gush of fluid. Having never experienced a spontaneous membrane rupture, I was unsure that it was my waters. I waddled to the toilet and checked - definite fluid, with a definite smell - like hay. I was pretty sure it was my waters. Told DH and laid out some towels in bed. Briefed DH on the procedure if I did go into labour tonight - where the bags were, what still needed to be packed, etc. Had a few more gushes of fluid but nothing substantial. Explained to DH that baby's head could drop down and block the leak and nothing could happen. Secretly, I was hoping that wasn't the case. Got into bed around midnight and tried to get comfy. Prayed that this was it and asked for God's strength to get me through, if I did go into labour.
2am, I woke up to my first contraction. Ahh, that familiar pain. I remembered that. I tried to get comfortable, stayed in bed for another 45mins or so until I felt that I needed to get up. I sat on the fitball and watched a bit of "Call the Midwife" but had to pause it every time I had a contraction. Started timing them and realised they were coming quite close together.
Around 3am, I called my mum, who was coming to look after the kids. She lives about 20 mins from us and wanted as much notice as we could give her as we were all a bit worried it'd be a fast one based on DS1's arrival - 6hrs from first contraction to delivery. Told her to sit tight for now but it was happening.
3.30am, I had my "starting to ramp up now, this is getting serious" labour vomit. Knew that things were on at that point and jumped in the shower. Woke DH on the way in and told him to get moving. He called mum again and asked her to come around. He called the Birth Centre and advised them we were on our way in - they must have been able to hear me in the background or could tell by his voice that it was happening as they didn't even ask to talk to me!
By 4am I was outside pacing up and down the front porch waiting for mum. DH was faffing around inside - I don't know what he was doing - but I was getting scared. I could hear myself getting quite vocal and was feeling pressure in my bum already - all indicators for me that it was getting close. I was scared.
In between contractions, I tried to focus back on God. I asked Him for strength, peace and calmness and told Him that I trusted His plan for delivery of this baby, over and over. Mum arrived and hurried up the driveway towards me. I barked out at her "Don't talk to me!" and she scurried inside the house. Poor mum! I was yelling for DH to hurry up, that we needed to go.
By 4.20am-ish we were in the car. Contractions were coming fast and hard - it was the worst drive to the hospital ever. I was telling DH I wanted it to stop and wanted it over now, but wanted him to go faster. Transition much?!
Time on the parking ticket on arrival at hospital was 4.46am. The hospital shares it's buildings with another major hospital and our hospital's lifts are closed overnight. Somehow I managed to convey this to DH so he parked near the right lifts. I got out of the car and my waters gushed out rather spectacularly all over the car park floor. Saved the car!
Up in the lift, leaking all over the place. Had to walk from the other hospital's foyer through to our hospital, leaking all the way. I was stopping every two minutes to have a contraction and DH would hover by my side until I snapped at him "I'm fine, go tell them we are coming!" and he scuttled off ahead. Took me about ten minutes to reach the birth centre.
Ushered straight into our room, I had a lovely midwife, Sue, who I'd seen at my 39 week appointment the week before. She asked if I minded having a student? No, that's fine. Really, what am I going to say when I'm that close?? I tell Sue I feel like pushing already and I want to get in the shower. She says she needs to examine me quickly and see how baby is presenting. I almost cry at the thought of getting on the bed, she tells me to just quickly hop up in between "pains" - so I manage this and she has a quick feel. Baby is presenting well she says, can't feel the head, which means it is right down ready to go.
I strip off and head into the (pre-warmed) shower. Ahh bliss. I get down on my knees on the birthing mat and hold the bars in front of me. Student midwife has shower head on my back and I look around for DH, who is hovering at the door of the bathroom. I yell at him "What are you doing? Get in here!!" Poor DH! I am really quite rude sometimes when I'm in labour!
DH takes up position with the second shower head on my tummy. I tell Sue I need to push and she tells me not yet, it's too soon. I'm freaking out a little bit and try and remember to ask God for calm. I'm scared Sue is going to leave for some reason and I keep asking her if she's still there, as she was behind me where I couldn't see.
Sue tells me to breathe through the next few contractions, doing short, sharp breaths. I copy her and start to feel the baby move right down. Sue says I need to "help the baby round the bend" and to put one knee up to try and help baby move into position. She then says something interesting - "Don't run away from the pain. Don't be scared. It's all ok. Baby will be here soon." How can she tell I am freaking out?
I realise she's right and I am somehow shying away from the pain. Somehow, I don't know how, my fears of something going wrong are bubbling to the surface. I tell myself I can do it - not much longer and baby will be here. God is with me, with us. We are safe.
With the next contraction, I feel it. That overwhelming need to push. I can't stop it. I have never felt that before - two previous labours, I got the feeling of needing to do a poo, but not the push urge that everyone talks about. All of a sudden, here it is.
I start pushing and Sue doesn't tell me to stop this time. She knows it's time, just like I do. I start to feel the baby crown, the start of the stinging. Oh my gosh - that stings. The contraction passes and Sue tells me to reach down and feel my baby's head. I say I don't want to, but she tells me again. She says she wants me to feel my baby, to help my baby out. So I reach down and feel the top of baby's head - a small, 20c piece sized patch of slippery wetness. So strange. But I need my hands to hold the bars while I'm bearing down, so I don't leave my hand there.
With the next contraction, I push with all I have and the top of the baby's head crowns. Sue tells me to keep the pressure there when the contraction ends, so that the head doesn't slip back up. Again she instructs me to reach down - this time I can feel much more of the head, about a grapefruit sized amount sitting there. It is so strange. I keep the pressure on and before I know it, another contraction hits and I'm pushing again - my body just does it's thing.
The head slips out and with a big rush the body follows. The student midwife catches the baby and soon passes it through to me. As I take my baby I glimpse a penis and tell DH "It's a boy!" I did it - I was the first person (I think!) to know the gender of my baby!
I try to bring my little baby up to my chest only to be stopped by the midwives yelling "Stop! The cord is really short, it won't reach!" So I sit awkwardly down on my knees and cradle this beautiful, slippery baby. I can't quite believe he is here. It is 5.11am - less than half an hour after we pulled into the car park, three hours after the first contraction.
The midwives help me up and I hobble over to the bed, hampered by this incredibly short cord. I can literally hold him just below my belly button - it is so short. I lie down on my side, still cradling my darling boy, as best I can, and have the injection to encourage the placenta. DH goes around and cuts the cord, which is apparently not just short but fat. Sue says it is the fattest cord she has seen in her career! Once the cord is cut, I can bring my boy up to my chest. We snuggle under the blankets and enjoy getting to know one another and try a breastfeed while the placenta does it's thing. It is delivered with no real drama - it didn't seem to hurt as much as the previous placenta deliveries did.
I call my mum and tell her the baby has been born. We don't mention gender or name as we want DD and DS1 to be the first to find out. DD is already awake (this is about 5.45am by now - she must gave known something was up!) so mum puts her on the phone and I tell her the baby has arrived. DD asks when they can come for a visit, I tell her not until later.
Having had a go at feeding, my boy drifts off to sleep and we lie together for a while, resting and just being together. DH snuggles in behind me and we lie peacefully until mum rings at about 7am and asks if they can come in for a visit already!
Apparently she told DD that they couldn't go meet the baby until DS1 was awake, they'd all had breakfast and gotten dressed and ready. So as soon as DS1 made a noise some time around 6am, she bolted in and told him the baby had arrived, they scarfed down breakfast, got ready in lightening time and were ready to come meet their new sibling! I laughed and said sure, come on in.
Not long after that midwife Kylie, who'd just come on shift, came and congratulated me - I'd seen her quite a few times and had built up a good relationship. She helped me into the shower and not long after that the kids arrived and we introduced them to their new baby brother. They were both fascinated and demanded cuddles straight away.
Once we'd done the introductions, Kylie got the scales and we were down to business - how big was my newest little man going to be? It didn't seem he'd beat DS1, who weighed in at 10lb 11oz! Sure enough, he tipped the scales at 9lb 8oz or 4.3kg - smack bang in the middle of my other two kids. His head, however, was the biggest! No wonder it hurt so much!! But the best bit was that I didn't tear at all. I had a slight graze that has since healed on it's own. So much better than my previous two labours!
That night, I told DH that I was done. Unlike after DS1's birth, when I turned to DH and said "I want to do that again.", this time, I said to him "That's it for me. I don't want to do that again." It was an awesome birth but it was too fast for me and freaked me out. I thank God that Sue was able to guide me through it and that we achieved the outcome we did.
That was beautiful OP. I'm not really religious, but when you talked about being with God and asking Him to guide you, I felt how warm and comforted you were. Amazing birth story, congratulations.
That was wonderful to read! You were incredibly brave through your pregnancy and now your beautiful boy is here. He's divine OP, congratulations to all of you xx
Our littlest Prince's speedy arrival
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