Where to start…. Such a question as even minutes after my little boy was picked up by me I was still in denial that I had actually been in labour.
It was a Sunday, 2 days before your official due date. Jace came in to our bed just before your Dad had to go to work. We had a lovely cuddle whilst you were finding a more comfortable spot inside my belly. My last sleep in. I don’t think we got up till 9:30am.
I had a feeling that things had to get done today. I knew I had to somehow get out of the house and get a card for our wedding anniversary. I didn’t feel comfortable about leaving my home. I remember whilst at the newsagents the young girl serving us asked that dreaded question: “so when are you due?” I think I threw her when I said “tonight would be good just not tomorrow”. Whilst out I made a very spontaneous decision and decide to go and feed the ducks with Jace. We had just brought a loaf of bread. I was relaxed and nonchalant. We went back home and had lunch. All this before 11am. Jace had sleep so I had a big sleep as well.
3pm comes and Jace hasn’t stirred I know he didn’t actually go to sleep until 12:30pm, just reading his books. I get up and notice that I feel a little different. I have had a show. I’m now a little excited but know that it could be days away. I ring your Dad just to check that he will be home soon I’m quite anxious. I’ve also been walking heaps as it’s a little uncomfortable to sit. I can feel you moving and am happy knowing that all is well. What will be will be.
Your Dad comes home around 4pm and we decide I probably should call the midwife. He has noticed that I'm very blasé, and not really ‘there’. I know that my midwife won’t be back on duty for me until Tuesday, I’m not too concerned. I ring and the midwife is excited for me I explain that my tightening’s aren’t painful and they aren’t regular. I’ve only had a show. I say that I’m not in labour and just thought I should ring. This midwife isn’t too concerned but offers to come out. I don’t think its time and am not ready, my house is a mess. We agree that I will call back after Jace is in bed. My intuition is telling me that if I am in labour and it is going to be tonight it will all happen after Jace is in bed. I send your Dad and brother out to pick up some supplies for dinner, mmm homemade pizza. I rush around cleaning the house, floors scrubbed (on hands and knees might I add), bathroom immaculate, rubbish bins emptied, washing folded and put away.
Your Dad and brother come home and vacuum. I start preparing dinner. Now that I am standing still I'm in focus with you. I notice you are quieter and my belly is tight for a little longer then before. I decide to ring my Mum. I don’t tell her I'm in labour just that the midwives might be out tonight and not to worry. She laughs and says ok dear you’ll be ok.
We have dinner and bath Jace. I’m confused: I shouldn’t be eating if THIS is labour. It is only whilst reading you brother a story that I feel tonight could be the night that you enter our family. Jace gives me a big cuddle and accidently head butts my belly, you move around. The pain rushes through my body and stays in my back. I groan in pain, ‘down, out open’ I chant. It doesn’t let up, I feel as though I'm tearing down my spine. Jace calls out and reaches his arms up to me; he tries to climb out over the side of his cot. I call out to your Dad, “Scott, come quick”, I see the panic in my little boys eyes as I double over. Scott comes in and calms Jace. Finally I’m ok, the rush is over. I now have a back ache that is making me feel nauseous. I say goodnight to Jace and decide to time these contractions. The next one can’t have been more then 3 mins from the last. The pain is the same, I walk around flapping my hands, I bend over the bed and sway my hips. Oh where is the relief! Scott rubs my back. It ends. Something is telling me I need to get on the bed on my hands and knees and bounce. I do, I feel you move and a sense of relief comes over me. Down off the bed I wander around aimlessly. It’s too soon to get everything ready. I still need confirmation that this is IT. Another tightening. No pain just uncomfortable and a deep feeling. I call my midwife: “I'm still not in pain, I can walk through them, it’s so irregular, I just want to spew”. She laughs and asks why; I know I’m in labour when I spew. They are about 8mins apart and lasting about 30-45sec long. “I think we need to come out, it will take us a good hour to get to you.” I begrudgingly agree.
I announce to Scott the midwives are coming its time to get everything prepared. A look of ‘I told you so’ comes across his face and he goes about getting the birth pool set up, mattresses out and everything in its place. I'm still walking around with no sense of direction I get told to sit down and rest. It’s uncomfortable and frustrating. Whilst getting the midwifes things out of our wardrobe I feel sick. Luckily there is a bucket close by. I spew. That feels better. Your Dad comes in and asks if I’m in labour yet? I need to get clean and have a shower so I jump in the shower. Bliss I only want to rinse off but the water is so soothing and calming. I have another contraction maybe 5mins after the last; it doesn’t last long and is easy to get through by bending over into a squat under the water. I get out and am only mildly aware that the midwives are here. I say hi as I walk around our bedroom naked looking for my labour clothes. THIS IS IT I AM IN LABOUR. Its 8:38pm.
I offer for them to check the heartbeat and comment that I spewed. The midwife I spoke to on the phone laughs “so you’re going to have your baby soon then?” I'm not too sure. I need reassurance, they aren’t regular or hurting it’s so different to what I imagined. We chat about how I thought I would birth whilst Scott was at work and how Jace would be rushing for the phone and getting me a towel. Your heart beat is strong and everything is great. Your big brother is still awake and calling out. Not panicking just checking that all is ok.
We move into the lounge room and Scott leaves to make a cup of tea for the midwives. I haven’t met these particular midwives before I mention that they have attended a few friends’ births. I also ask how many homebirths have they assisted with. Upon remembering these questions later it might be taken as though I interviewed the midwives. I didn’t mean for it to come out impolitely. Both say a few but not many ‘official’ ones. I'm now back to being excited I’m staying home and my baby is going to be here soon. Another contraction I walk out to the bedroom walk up and down the hallway. Scott comes back in with the tea. I hear them telling him how calm I am and just so at ease. I walk back in and casually mention it is our wedding anniversary tomorrow. “Oh how many years”. “Just one. I don’t suppose I will be having sex tomorrow?” It was more a question and I was yet again after reassurance that this will keep going. Everyone laughed; I looked at your Dad and realized he was a little embarrassed. I think it is time for the birth pool. Your Dad goes to fill it.
I ask the midwives what they think. They said whatever I feel comfortable with. I asked about when I should have the group B strep douche (as I tested positive during pregnancy) before getting in the pool or after? I make it clear that I still don’t feel comfortable staying in the water to give birth. Just as one midwife prepares the douche another contraction starts I pace around the bedroom and then hear a strange sound as I feel warmness running down my legs. I stand over a bucket and catch most of it. “I think my waters have broken?” The midwife checks and says that we don’t have time to use the douche is that ok. I don’t care. I need to pee.
I move to the toilet: “are you sure it’s not the baby?” ‘YES’. Another contraction, things change. As I wee I feel you move, everything feels different. “Uaah No, baby” I yell and shake my head as I bear down. “We need a towel; do you have a towel to wrap the baby in?” “Yep it’s in the basket!” Your Dad yells out that he can’t find it. All I can manage to say is: “blue, bedroom”. It’s found after much discussion between the three of them. It doesn’t feel right sitting on the toilet all I can think about is how uncomfortable your Dad looks. “Do you want to get up” “Yes” “We’ll go into the lounge room, through the bathroom ok” “mmm” is all I can manage.
I get helped up off the toilet and we start walking through the bathroom between the shower and the bathroom. Down I go, on all fours. The tiles feel so good. Another urge to push as I arch my back and groan deeply. I can feel you moving down. I know its close but its all happening so quickly. Someone is asking if I want some pillows all I can do is nod my head. A midwife asks me to lift my hand I shake my head, it doesn’t feel right the tiles are so cool, I'm getting so hot and sweaty. I get reassurance that I will feel better after if I can just lift my knees and wrists. Somehow I manage and God it feels good.
I arch my back as I prepare for another push. I grunt and groan and wiggle my hips. I think I push for nearly a minute. It was a long one. I can feel the burning and it’s so hot. I feel as though this is the end of me I can’t go on. I wish someone would just pull the baby out. I am aware of you pushing your head down and then slipping back up. My mind ticks over, I don’t want you to move away, I want you to work with me. As I look up I can see your Dads mouth moving, but I’m not taking in what he is saying. I recollect my thoughts and realize I'm still at home, in our bathroom, I CAN do this. My baby is coming and it’s going to be really soon.
Your head has crowned. A give another little grunt after that push and your head slips out. With all that burning I can’t feel much just a slight extension of my body. A little heavier in the rear end. I'm offered a straw, I can’t move but am so hot. The straw passes through my lips and I drink in the cool juice. I'm getting uncomfortable again. Like I need to move my hips around in a circle and shake my baby out. My mind flicks to an image of a mare birthing her little foal. Where she is standing and does a full circle with the head out and by the time she finishes turning on the spot her foal has fallen out. If it were only that easy.
We are just waiting for another urge to push. I know this will be the last one. A midwife asks if I feel like pushing yet. I cautiously bear down. I stop. It doesn’t feel right. It feels so wrong like going the wrong way in a one way street. I shake my head. I know your head has been out for a while (3-4mins) and can feel you draining all the fluid that you have swallowed. It’s coming out your nose and mouth. I hear the midwives showing your Dad. You have your first photo taken and I think the flash startles you as there was some kind of reaction.
My legs tingle, and my back arches. I feel the power of another urge. Finally, I push with all my might. This must be the last push I don’t want to push anymore. The feeling is awesome. I grunt and groan as your body slides out. A midwife catches you and gently places you between my legs. I move backwards over you. I gently pick you up. So slippery and wet. You’re blue. I'm not panicked I gently place you over my forearm and rub your back as I say hello. More fluid is pouring out your nose and mouth. You cough and splutter and open your lungs. A huge scream fills the bathroom. I let out a big breath, as I had also been holding mine. My legs shake as I turn you over and sit back on my legs. “It’s a boy”. I knew deep within that you were a boy. I'm so thrilled that you are ok and healthy. “I didn’t even look, if he was a girl I would have been shocked” says your Dad. I can see the hugest smile come across his face. He is so proud.
We wrap you in the blue towel. I ever so carefully carry you out to the lounge room. You have a very short cord, just like your brother and I can only get you to just under my hips without it pulling through my engorged labia. Needless to say it is a very uncomfortable walk, me hunched over and you testing your lungs. I sit down and get comfortable. I lay you on belly. All is instantly quiet. Your skin is so beautiful, your eyes so big, blue and deep. You are content to just watch and nuzzle. Taking everything in. Your eyes meet your Dads as you look over my shoulder. You know who he is and wiggle when he places his hands on your back. We are left alone as a family whilst the midwives make calls and announce your arrival.
10mins later the after pains are getting stronger and I need to push. It feels different and harder work like going against gravity. I feel like I should change position but still want you on me. I tell the midwife that it’s there “just pull it out”. As I lean back on my arms and wiggle my bottom out it plops. It’s big and so glossy. We place it in the bowl beside us. At last I can get you into a better position to offer you my breast.
Your first feed is perfect. All in your own time about 40mins after your birth. You take one look at my nipple and latch on beautifully. It’s such a big feed for such a little baby. The midwives check me over only a few frontal grazes. I think these were from your cord. Your Dad cuts your cord 10mins before the midwives leave. They leave us at midnight to bond. You are fast asleep. But only for an hour. I grab something to eat and marvel at just how perfect you are.
You were born at 9:44pm and spent most of your first night awake and alert just taking it all in. Only going to sleep for an hour and a bit within your first 7 hours of being earth side.
After a few more breastfeeds you were just about to go back to sleep when your brother makes his appearance. You gurgle as your lying on my tummy and he rushes over and excitedly points at you. “bbub, babb” his telling us with huge smile. We explain that you have come out of my tummy and this is the baby. He gives you such a gentle kiss and tries to shove you off my tummy to kiss it. Nobody is going back to sleep now.
No transition and my contractions never got below 6mins apart. Technically I never was in established labour.
You weighed 3.54kg (7 pounds 15) and measured 49cm. Just perfect.
No interventions, No drugs. Just a peaceful, natural birth.
Such an inspirational story. Oh how i wish i could do the instinctive, calm homebirth. Thats the way it should be.
Thankyou for sharing and a belated Congratulations Well done
Wow, what a great story!!! I had a chuckle at the vomitting thing - you're not in labour til you vomit? That was similar to me with my first, I wonder if I'll be the same this time around?
You did such a great job at home. Well done and welcome little Jai.
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Planned 1 hour long blissful homebirth (detailed)
That was so beautifully written, thankyou for sharing
Well done
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