I have survived 6 months. And I do mean survived. Because that is what it feels like.

I have D-MER. Every time I breast feed a black hole opens up from inside me. Everything turns dark, and it starts. The wraith appears, dark hood and cloak, long bony dark hand reaches for me, dark black bottomless pits of eyes lock onto mine and it reaches right into my soul. I then feel completely empty. It drains me of who I am. I feel overwhelmed with dispair, dread and depression. All joy, happiness, and light is sucked out of me. then, a minute later the sun comes back out from behind the clouds and everything is normal again. I then feel the tingle of letdown and hear my little Spock drink away.

I guess I just want to mark the milestone. because aside from that, breastfeeding came completely naturally to Spock and I. I still do class myself as one of the lucky ones, because we haven't had any problems as such. I just feel like crap everytime I do it.