Breastfeeding out and about.... or in parents rooms?

[DoubleK]

for me, i fed where i was comfortable...

obviously in the beginning, i preferred to feed privately (before we both got the hang of it) as she was older, i was happy to feed wherever, but i was more comfortable being discreet about it- not to the point where i made myself uncomfortable though.

every now and then i did come across a situation where i didnt feel comfortable feeding, so i would go somewhere else.

i have used parents rooms. some of these rooms are just fantastic! others, are still a little cramped/make do type rooms. id never sit in there if i felt it was unclean or whatever.

this time around, i have to keep in mind i have DD to watch as well.. so if that means we have to go into a parents room, well so be it! there is no point me sitting somewhere where i cant keep an eye on DD1!

[Indadhanu]

Yep, out and about in public here too We did do a stint in the parents room, when Jazz went through her distracted pull-off-and-flash-me-to-the-world-every-5-seconds stage, but now she knows if she pulls off, thats it, no more boobies! lol So we're back to public bfing. Anywhere, anytime. I used to be able to bf walking in the sling but shes a bit heavy for that now! lol So i just find a comfy seat, Zarraffas (sp? I think thats what its called?) have been hugely supportive! Always let me bf in their comfy comfy chairs without buying something. I usually do but its nice to jnow I dont have to!

[MantaRay]

With DS1, I started out only feeding in feeding rooms if there was one nearby. But overtime I became more and more comfortable with feeding anywhere. By the time DS2 came along, getting two kids into a feeding room seemed like too much hard work, so I usually just sat down where ever I was and fed. I have fed on the floor of most of the shops at our local shopping centre! One time in a supermarket a staff member brought me a chair - unnecessary but very thoughtful!

[Cheeky_Monkey]

I have never fed in a parents room, and to be honest the ones here aren't very nice and I struggle with myself to even use them to change nappies.

DS isn't BF any more but when he was I would feed anywhere and everywhere.

I remember one time I was BFing in the food court while eating my lunch. Now there is nowhere in the food court that's away from everyone else, no hidden booths etc. so it's not like I could have been any more discreet than I was. I had several dirty looks, and one disapproving MOTHER with THREE children behind her walked past and muttered under her breath "People are trying to eat here!". I promptly looked her in the eyes and said MY SON IS EATING TOO. I got some smiles from people around me and she stormed off in a huff leaving her kids to run after her.

I love seeing mothers BF in public, I'm a big fan of the "I might take offense to you shovelling your fries and greasy hamburger in your mouth so fast you don't taste it - but do I tell you to go do it elsewhere?" If I see a mother BFing - I give her a smile as I walk past. I hope it doesn't seem stalkerish but I would have loved more people to give me approving smiles.

[Heaven]

I'm actually more comfortable feeding out and about than I am in front of ppl I know esp male friends and family members.

[Glamourcide]

The first time I BF'd in public was *horrible* - it was in Centrelink while trying it lodge the paperwork for the baby bonus/Medicare stuff, and DD2 was less than 72 hours old. So, we were still trying to get the hang of stuff, and I couldn't really go anywhere as I was needed to fill out the paperwork, so I settled into one of the comfy chairs in the waiting area, covered myself completely with a flannelette wrap (as I do when BFing in public), and then had some disgusting dole-bludging creature take a seat right opposite me and he proceeded to sit there blatantly LEERING at me and hoping to cop a squiz at something. It was only when DH (who was standing in line waiting for us to be served) noticed him and came over to give him the death stare, that the guy got up and went outside.
Needless to say, that little experience really put me off trying to BF in public. Thankfully the main place I go in town is the mall, and they've just recently had big renos done to their toilets and parents' room, so the parents' room is quite nice - soft lighting, comfy armchairs, private rooms with locks on the doors for BFing mums (complete with a TV to keep me amused, and a little playpen-type thing for the likes of DD1), smells and looks very clean and comforting... so I go there whenever I can. I prefer the privacy even though I go to great (sometimes uncomfortable) lengths to be discreet when feeding in public - I wear a singlet under my shirt so that I can pull the shirt up and the singlet down and there's only a couple of inches of boob hanging out, rather than pulling my shirt down/up and having my entire breast/stomach exposed, and I throw a 110x100cm wrap over my shoulder before I even begin adjusting my clothing so nobody gets even the tiniest glimpse of breast/baby feeding.

I had to feed DD2 in a McDonald's restaurant yesterday and not only was it really uncomfortable (a booth seat for a bit of extra privacy, my arms were so sore and the table was too close to the seat to be comfy), but a pair of old biddies having lunch with their grandkids gave me the looks and commented loudly about how, 'There are CHILDREN here, how rude' etc... (again, I was COMPLETELY covered by a blanket, how on earth would their grandkids have even known I was breastfeeding?!)... but the parents' room there looked awful, and I wanted to eat my chocolate croissant and drink my latte while feeding!

[MamaPan]

i used to feed wherever i wanted - in lots of cafes/restaurants/shopping centres/park benches etc. i did use parents rooms esp at the beginning and if something good was available i would go there for some peace and quiet.
at the very start i def wanted to go to parents rooms, more bc it took a lot of concentration etc to get ds latched correctly and i wasnt confident. by the end i was a pro...
i think it took about 6 weeks til i was comfy out and about.
i also like parents rooms (the nice ones) bc i can chg nappy and do a 'reset' quite easily. i found it harder to know where to chg nappies in public than bfeeding.
i had one v bad experience feeding in a service station cafe (on a trip) when i was sitting in the back section facing away from everyone and a mum with 4 kids moved her whole family.... and gave me the dirtiest look...

[Visitor8]

I don't like the parents rooms (which lets face it are basically toilets, I certainly wouldn't want to eat in there, so why should my baby).

They aren't all bad. Infact out of the 10 or so I've been to only one was gross...

The ones around here are lovely, have a play area, pretty walls, private rooms, comfy chairs, dimmers for the lights. Yes they have toilets in there but they are in a seperate room and I love that they have toilets in there (makes going easier when you have 3 kids)

[Jennifer13]

I am so sad that some of you have received such negative attitudes (particularly from women and mothers!).

Perhaps they need reminding that it is illegal to ask a bfing mother to go somewhere else or not to bf in public? Unfortunately it's a sign that we still don't accept it's the normal way to feed our babies.

Cheeky Monkey - I love your comment, why shouldn't a baby eat where everybody else is?

I felt a bit funny about bfing in public, for about 2 weeks. Then I didn't care. I have bf wherever I was when DD wanted a bf. Including our friends' wedding when she was 2 1/2. Mostly we do not bf in public now, since she only has 2 bfs - first thing in the morning and last thing at night - and will skip the latter if we're out somewhere interesting. I have yet to receive a comment when I'm publicly bfing though, so I guess there's hope!

[AnyDream]

The only time I have ever used parent rooms is when my bub was really unsettled and I needed somewhere quiet...even then I would in preference find a seat in a park or feed in my car...many of the parent rooms just seem like glorified toilets and they often smell bad. I also liked to feed visibly in public in the hope that it might help other mothers feel comfortable about feeding in public too. I rarely bothered to drape a blanket over unless I was in a high-traffic area...usually just tried to pick a fairly quiet spot/a corner and then just act normal!

[DANNIIM]

Parents room.....what parents room! I just whip it out and feed when ever they are needed.
I even BF the other night in our new camper trailer with a few of our friends over, i wasn't going to go somewhere else just because my baby needed a feed and all our friends don't have a problem with it anyhow. It made it easier i think because one of our other friends would just feed whenever and however so when i had DS2 it was easy i just kinda followed her lead IYKWIM.

Cheeky_Monkey good on you for making that comment to that mother who had no right in making such a comment

[koru]

I haven't starting BF yet although I fully intend to do so wherever is convenient for me & my baby at the time. I may well be more self-conscious and seek a private space to start with more from the perspective of 'getting it right' and not having a fussing baby rather than anyone seeing my body.
I agree with Cheeky Monkey - why shouldn't babies eat where everyone else does? If some-one complains I'll just ask them if they'd like to go eat their lunch in the toilet?????

[Inertia]

If there is a decent parents room available and I am not in the middle of something else (like say - lunch) then I will use it because it means the seats are more comfy. I dislike the ones with little cubicles and curtains (although I understand some women prefer to be that hidden) but its like saying we shouldn't even bf in front of other bfing mothers!

But if there isnt one or its crap or I am sitting down to a meal myself or shopping or any number of things I go out in public to do - I will feed my baby. I have gotten my share of comments but meh. I remember once in the Penrith Plaza food court being asked "Do you have to do that here"? I mean seriously - You are bloody well eating in public! I have to sit there and see you chew on a cheeseburger.

Isnt it funny how society will only ever ask you to starve your baby in the name of comfort. Let the baby scream, but god forbid we have less than 20 different shops full of ready cooked food available at a moments notice in a shopping centre. Lets see them buy a steak, pull out the hot plate and have to prepare it before eating it - in the middle of a shopping centre. Or maybe they can leave home with ready made steaks in steak warmers. Then they can go and sit in the fully enclosed "eating room" so no one has to watch them chewing.

[Lolli]

The first 2 months after ds was born, i either fed in the parents room or took a bottle of ebm to feed fim. I was paranoid about bf'ing in public. That wore off pretty quickly So after that I fed him anywhere and everywhere. Most people were lovely- especially older women, they would always stop for a chat and tell me what a good job I was doing, still bf'ing and doing it out in public

I only had one negative comment, from a mum about my age with a kid the same age as ds, saying loudly to her friend 'That's disgusting, the parents rooms are right over there!'. And they were, but they stunk, it was just disgusting. So I fed on the big comfy lounge chairs int he food court instead.

One shopping centre near me has a fantastic parents room, complete with a big tv showing kids dvd's. It doesn't smell and it's so comfy. I think I'll be shopping there a lot when this bubs is born, because I can only imagine trying to keep ds still in the food court for 20 minutes while I feed. Ren, he will be one of those unhelpful squealing toddlers!! The other shopping centre's that are me have parents rooms ranging from ok to totally feral. Most of them stink (ventilation, anyone??) and have uncomfy chairs with no arms on them.

[Arcadia]

I'm actually more comfortable feeding out and about than I am in front of ppl I know esp male friends and family members.

I agree totally! Especially my FIL...

I have never been to a parents room (and have never even looked for one).

I went to the toilets once in a restaurant, but then changed my mind when we kept getting interupted by all the people needing to use it, so I just walked back to my table with her attached! Some people looked pretty shocked too!

[Shanti]

Isnt it funny how society will only ever ask you to starve your baby in the name of comfort. Let the baby scream, but god forbid we have less than 20 different shops full of ready cooked food available at a moments notice in a shopping centre. Lets see them buy a steak, pull out the hot plate and have to prepare it before eating it - in the middle of a shopping centre. Or maybe they can leave home with ready made steaks in steak warmers. Then they can go and sit in the fully enclosed "eating room" so no one has to watch them chewing.

oooooh well said hun!!!

I'm shocked and saddened that many of you have had negative comments made to you by other women!! It's people like that who need to change their attitudes. Obviously they didn't BF and have a problem with it and need to get over their own issues huh. That's sad they are like that.

It's good reading all your posts. Like most of you, I too will use a parents room if it's a nice one but unfortunately the shops in our areas don't have the nicest parents rooms or they are so tiny and pokey and lonely I don't like to use them! Or they stink like poo! Blurgh...Or like someone else said, they are hidden away in a dark corridor somewhere out of sight!!! No thanks. I find those parents rooms with the private cubicles kinda strange.... like being hidden away from everything! I used one the other day for the first time as I was changing DD's nappy and was there anyway but it was so boring sitting in there on my own feeding and staring at the wall LOL
I will BF wherever it's convenient for us at the time.
I can see why parents rooms are great for those with a toddler and baby especially the ones with the gated play area. the parents room I was in today has that and I'll probably use them ALOT when baby #2 comes along.

And I agree when someone said those foodcourt chairs aren't the comfiest!!! Hell no! They are shocking.... I'm glad DD only takes 5-10mins to feed these days!!!

There is a shopping centre I go to regularly for the groceries and there is a chemist in it and its quite a big chemist and has some nice comfy soft couches towards the corner of the chemist so i just feed DD in there now!!! And the staff don't mind (nor should they) and the baby health nurse is there too which makes it handy! I don't use the parents rooms as they are so small. I did in the first few weeks as I wasn't very confident and DD wouldnt attach properly etc.

Cheeky Monkey - great comment!! If only i can remember that incase someone says something to me one day....
Heaven - me too! I much prefer to BF in front of strangers than family/friends.... however recently I overcame my fear of feeding in front of FIL and i just do it now.... I dont care anymore!!!! hahaha

[Novella]

I feed where ever its convenient. My favourite at the moment is while Im browsing the books in angus and robertson. I can feed while walking and have done so but bf is a chance to sit, so I often grab a hot chocolate and sit in a cafe if my dd needs a feed when Im out. Now she is almost 8 months feeding in public isn't as easy as she get so distracted, pulling of and leaving me exposed doesnt bother me as much as it used to but it can take forever for her to feed. Having my breasts exposed doesn't worry me but Im selconcious about my belly so i were a belly belt/ bppb tube for your belly thing under my tops (and its too darn cold here to leave my back and tummy exposed).I have only been in one parents room that didn't feel like a toilet, I get a bit claustraphobic and they often feel cramped and are windowless (I know most shops in shopping centres dont have windows but they 'feel' more spacious, jsut my irrational feeling) . I have fed on the benches in the middle of the shops but if my 2yo is with me I have to have a picnic for her to or Id be chasing her around the shops.

I have bf on a plane, at the beach, walking through the cbd, at the library, supermarket, cafe's, car, home, park, playgroup, beach (id been swimming but it didnt seem to bother her), pool.

The only dumb comment I have had was from my stepmum when we were having dinner at their local rsl who suggested I go to the ladies toilets to feed dd1 as there was a lounge in there! I said if she was uncomfertable id feed dd1 in the car but refused to use the toile yuck! She has kept her mouth shut this time with dd2

A cafe at my local westfield has a play area near it and there are normallyat least 2 or 3 mums bf bubs while watching toddlers play. I love to go there and have a drink, bf and not have to worry about dd1 getting bored or antsy.

I gave up on draping a blanket/,uslin over me to be discreet, I never got the hang of it and now its about 2 seconds and she is attatched. I guess Im lucky Ive only ever had positive comments about bf and they have generally been from people in their 70's, men and women.

My friends 2.5yo was really curious the other day when he saw me feed Aimee, I was happy for him to have a good look as he was just being a curious toddler but I thought it was sad that Im the only woman he has seen bf, his mum has a number of friends with bubs but Im the only one bf.

[Ozziehoffy]

I feed anywhere and everywhere. The only time I really use the parents room is if I'm on my own and Oskar is a bit ratty. Then I get him set up with his lunch, block the door to the cubicle with the pram and chair and he can wander in the little area without annoying other people and eat his lunch too. Otherwise sometimes we'll go to Gloria Jean's and get a cookie or something and a coffee for me and sit there.