Breastfeeding Shame.

**helle** · October 5th, 2010, 04:35 PM

I'm not usually one who does the BF vs FF rant thing. I think that the way we feed our babies in a mumma's choice and I prefer to stay out of it. So long as they're being fed, loved, and cherished I say, who cares how their bellies are filled.

But, you know what, today I'm gonna add my bit.

My name is Teagan and I suffer from Breastfeeding Shame.

I have always been asked the questions "are you still breastfeeding?" or "So, how long are you going to breastfeed for?". At the start of our journey I could buy myself six months of "until the teeth come" and then that was it, nothing else was said. But now, those teeth are here, all 6 of them and I don't have an "excuse" as to why I'm still breasfeeding.

Today I commented on how DS still likes me to feed him to sleep (not saying how I fed, just that he likes falling asleep to a feed), and that I should probably start to teach him to self settle. A comment was made that he should fall asleep with his bottle in his cot, to which I said that he was exclusively breastfed.

"well... how long are you going to breastfeed for?"

and I do it EVERYTIME.

I break eye contact, shrug my shoulders and mumble "I dunno"

I am embarrassed that I am still breastfeeding my son. I feel shameful that my child is still feeding in the normal, natural way. In the way that my body has been designed to feed my babies. In a way that every womans body has been designed to feel all their babies. I don't have the balls to look someone in the eye and tell them "I really want to breastfeed DS until he is two, how the WHO recommends" I feel completely and utterly embarrassed and shameful!

What. The. Hell!?

I love breasfeeding DS. I love how he giggles when You say "booby". I love how his little face lights up when he hears the *snap" of my bra clip. I love how he grins when I get a boob out, how he pokes at my nipple with one little finger and how he goes for the lunge, mouth wide open and full of enthusiasm. I love how he snuggles in for his bed time feed and falls into such a deep sleep that he falls off the boob with a little dribble of milk still running down his cheek. I love it's conviency, I love everything about breastfeeding!

So, the next time someone asks me "well... how long are you gonna breastfeed for?" I'm gonna tell 'em, and I'm gonna tell 'em good. With pride, and not shame.

Enchanted · October 5th, 2010, 04:39 PM

Good on you babe!! You should be SO proud of your efforts and that you have such a great bond going with your little man!

So many people feel threatened and offended by breastfeeding and often don't know how to deal with it. It is such a shame. I copped comments with DD similar to yours and was told by family members that you should stop feeding once they can ask for it because apparently it's gross! *sigh* Just know that you are doing the best thing you can for him and while you are both happy then keep it up gorgeous and make sure you give it to them next time

**onthefly** · October 5th, 2010, 04:45 PM

I always find it kinda funny that it's often perfectly acceptable for babies to sleep with a dummy or a bottle, but not a breast....

Anyway, good for you. No shame in feeding or comforting your child!
I was never really asked, but come on - your boy is not even 9 months old! Why does anyone else care anyway?

**helle** · October 5th, 2010, 04:47 PM

I always find it kinda funny that it's often perfectly acceptable for babies to sleep with a dummy or a bottle, but not a breast....

I was thinking the exact same thing on my drive home. Whats the difference? Other than the fact that one is skin and one is plastic. They both offer the same sort of comfort.

**RhiChiChi** · October 5th, 2010, 04:48 PM

I love breasfeeding DS. I love how he giggles when You say "booby". I love how his little face lights up when he hears the *snap" of my bra clip. I love how he grins when I get a boob out, how he pokes at my nipple with one little finger and how he goes for the lunge, mouth wide open and full of enthusiasm. I love how he snuggles in for his bed time feed and falls into such a deep sleep that he falls off the boob with a little dribble of milk still running down his cheek. I love it's conviency, I love everything about breastfeeding!

So, the next time someone asks me "well... how long are you gonna breastfeed for?" I'm gonna tell 'em, and I'm gonna tell 'em good. With pride, and not shame.

Good on you Teagz!

I always find it kinda funny that it's often perfectly acceptable for babies to sleep with a dummy or a bottle, but not a breast....

Anyway, good for you. No shame in feeding or comforting your child!
I was never really asked, but come on - your boy is not even 9 months old! Why does anyone else care anyway?

Exactly - what is the difference?!

**Deedles** · October 5th, 2010, 04:50 PM

:yeahthat: Totally!!

**Liviam** · October 5th, 2010, 07:58 PM

That's right darl hold your head high with pride!!! Keep feeding your boy until you and him are ready to stop. My little man has only just weaned in the last few days (15 months) and people were giving me the weirdest looks like I was doing something wrong b/f a toddler and I was always asked. Intially I would just say until he didn't want it but as it got older and I got sick of people asking me I told I was planning to feed until his wedding night!! I had already organised work so I could feed him at recess and lunch when he starts school. It shut them up real quick because they didn't know if I was joking or not, LOL!!
Keep up the great work darl and keep enjoying every feed becasue it is just amazing!!

**onthefly** · October 5th, 2010, 04:50 PM

It is weird, right? It's not just me? I know which I'd prefer if I were a baby... just saying

**sconeonamission** · October 5th, 2010, 04:54 PM

I had a little bit of shame, but not much and it was mainly towards the end of BF. He was 15 months. Most people were amazed that we were still BF, rather than 'when are you going to stop'

**MummaSue** · October 5th, 2010, 04:52 PM

Good for you hun!!

Stand proud! You're doing an amazing thing for your baby!

Sue xxx

**Deedles** · October 5th, 2010, 04:48 PM

Beautifully said hun! You should never be ashamed to tell someone you are still breastfeeding and plan to for as long as your comfortable and can do it!
I would have done it with DS1 till he was 2 but I just ran out of supply.
I am hoping to go till 2 with DS2 and I am just so happy to be able to BF.
Even though atm I have a nice big tooth mark in my right boob, I still love it!

**beckoes** · October 12th, 2010, 06:23 AM

I used to get all the comments, mostly from my mum, but as time has gone on i have got more confident and now when she asks me 'am i STILL breastfeeding' and i reply yes and get the usual comments of 'oh thats got to end' or 'gross' (yes....from my mum!!) i just say 'she loves it and can do it for as long as she likes!'

Be proud and confident, your doing the best for your son and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! and when you tell people your still feeding and they give you funny looks just tell them your both happy and healthy and thats all that matters! hugs to you

**helle** · October 13th, 2010, 04:54 PM

within my immediate family i'm extremely lucky that it's considered normal to feed via the boobs! even my 19 year old brother doesn't batt an eyelid anymore. it's just some of those "outsiders" that like to share their opinions sometimes.

**helle** · October 18th, 2010, 06:00 PM

well.. i was feeding DS today at our usual haunt (cafe in a shopping centre) and a lovely elderly lady came up to me and said that
"it's so lovely seeing a woman breastfeed without worrying about any old fuddyduddies complaing about it"
warmed the ****les of my heart... especially since DS was being rather painful and screeching at every given opportunity and I was worried it would have been bothering this lovely lady and her husband.

**MummaSue** · October 18th, 2010, 06:20 PM

It's so nice to hear that Teagz!

**Manhattan** · October 5th, 2010, 04:54 PM

I love breasfeeding DS. I love how he giggles when You say "booby". I love how his little face lights up when he hears the *snap" of my bra clip. I love how he grins when I get a boob out, how he pokes at my nipple with one little finger and how he goes for the lunge, mouth wide open and full of enthusiasm. I love how he snuggles in for his bed time feed and falls into such a deep sleep that he falls off the boob with a little dribble of milk still running down his cheek. I love it's conviency, I love everything about breastfeeding!

So, the next time someone asks me "well... how long are you gonna breastfeed for?" I'm gonna tell 'em, and I'm gonna tell 'em good. With pride, and not shame.

Good for you sweetheart! There is nothing in the slightest to be ashamed of, you are doing a great thing for Jackson, and poo to those busybodies who question you otherwise!

Keep up the good work hun

And, fwiw, my DD is the same age as Jackson, and I cop the same questions as you, and I proudly say 'yes I am still bf, and no I have no intention of stopping'.