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IMO a baby won't starve themselves. If your little girl was hungry more than 4hrly than she'd let you know to feed her :). You're doing an awesome job Hun. Your dd is happy, gaining weight and doing everything she should.
Big :hug: it's hard when everyone wants to give you their opinion.
Oh and fwiw 30yrs ago my mum fed me on a 4hrly routine (as most people over 25 probably were) and she fed me happily till I weaned at 12mths.
I also had a very sleepy (jaundiced) newborn. To get weight up, we started with 3 hourly feeds up until about 10.30/11 pm then let her go as long as she would overnight, then 3 hourly again from morning. Worked for us! She turned into a chubba at about 4-6 months and I felt more comfortable sticking to a routine, but that's just what worked for us. I ended up with supply issues but I *think* that had more to do with a lazy feeder than being on routine, throw in a massively stressful time for me and it just wasn't happening!
Oh and I should say, Anais slept through from 6 weeks until I had supply issues(then it turned to hell!!!!) so I don't think it has a negative impact on sleeping either.
Do what works for you and what you are comfortable with. I will be routine feeding this baby to start with and then see what happens.
Good luck with whatever you decide, you are giving your baby an amazing start either way xx
Alish, sounds like your little girl is doing well so far. Good to hear!
Being a mum is pretty tough - be kind to yourself. We all feel vulnerable adn unsure of ourselves to begin with. As you find your feet - through trial and error and generally muddling through - your confidence will build.
Do you want to exclusively breastfeed? If so, you will need to get more milk out of your breasts (and into baby). That means either feeding more often or expressing (60ml is a pretty decent haul, btw). It doesn't sound like you're using that much formula at the moment, so it's probably quite possible if that's what you want to do. Otherwise you can always just continue as you are and see how you go.
Just a general comment (and won't necessarily realte to your baby Alish), but some babies are very sleepy and don't demand much. They seem like little angels, sleeping and hardly fussing, but they don't feed often enough. Mum doesn't establish a good supply. The weight gains taper off and in time that baby can be in real trouble. It does happen. *Usually* we can follow baby's lead and feed on demand, but sometimes that system does need a little tweaking early on, which is why the nurses and midwives bang on about demand feeding, weight gains, numbers of pooy nappies and 8-12 feeds in 24 hours and so on.
i was told to feed for a minimum of 20mins the first side then let bub decide how long on the other side ie if she only wanted 5 mins thats ok if she wanted 25 mins thats ok too, to ensure the breast is fully emptied and this will help supply as well as prevent mastitis and bub may not need a top up at all. i comp fed too it is do-able. it sounds like your bub is doing well and youre doing a great job and doesnt sound like you have a supply issue at all. 60ml is a good amount to be getting this soon, plus as others have said expressing is not an indication of supply. goodluck
Alish, congrats on your bub. Your post reminded me of this blog. It has some hints on helping sleepy bubs to feed, and things to watch out for.
Beware the Super Sleeper | KORA Organics Blog
enjoy your newborn cuddles.
I did feed Jim on a routine when he lost weight. In the first couple of weeks I tried so hard to exclusively breastfeed, he would lose weight from sucking and community health were doing home visits to weigh him every day. One visitor would contradict the next one.
My milk came in late, I had literally an emergency caesar (arriving by ambulance) under GA, and also my relationship broke down literally with days, weeks of him being born. Also I had a bladder infection, which meant I was on antibiotics for ages and ages and ages.
I nearly made it to 3 months of comp feeding. At one point despite everything we got it down to a third of what the daily formula is on the can. But at the time my ex was creating more stress for me so I couldn't keep it up :-(
I managed to half ignore all the midwives, mchn's etc, TBH I feel looking back in hindsight I feel now that a lactation consultant are the best people to give advice. I had one free session as an outpatient, and someone later gave me free advice over the phone.
I went through a lot of extra pain, in order to breastfeed, I don't know if it was worth it or not, in some ways it gave me a great bond in the early days, which I'm not sure I might have had in the circumstances of Jim's birth.
That is a great blog post HotI and has some great tips (for example the stroking the foot instead of the body to wake bub up, didn't know that).:
Hun, I guess it depends where you want to go with it. It's really hard for health professionals, because most mums would like to be told they only have to feed 4hourly. But, that's just not the way the system works. For the first few days mothers make colostrum, which is low in volume but high in all sorts of "goodies" for your baby. Babies are not "hungry" in the way we know it, they are born with stores of brown fat. However, they are biologically coded to know how to make your body make more milk - and that is to feed very often! The night of day 2 or day 3 can be a bit crazy - they often want to feed "all the time" - it doesn't mean you don't have enough milk, and their feeding will get your milk in. But, it can be tough going when you are recovering from a birth as well.
Many times mums say they want to breastfeed, but they do things that the evidence shows will lead to premature weaning. That's fine if you are Ok with that. (and it sounds like you are) but many women express disappointment later on that the consequences weren't explained to them. That they didn't understand that it is more likely that 4 hourly feeding and topping up with formula will lead to early weaning. And theat they are not told what they could do to increase their milk supply - so you see the quandary health professionals are in? some mums are able to breastfeed on a four hourly shedule, but for most mums that's not the case. Your baby is very young. It is easy to think "she always does this' or "she always does that" - but at this age, regardless of how she feed, every day will bring something new. Most of us adults don't feed 4 hourly, and ultimately most babies don't either.
Whatever you decide to do, have confidence. If you ask for information on how to breastfeed successfully, and people give you the information, they are not "having a go', just giving you the information you asked for. There are no gold stars for having a routine. I think that your M&CH nurse could see that you were very close to being able to fully breastfeed and was trying to offer good advice. There are many ways of feeding a baby/many ways of bringing up a baby, and they all work fine. If breastfeeding is not for you, no need to apologies or feel defensive.
You are doing a great job alish!!
However if you are only feeding for 10 mins each side it is very likely that you wont have to ff at all of you let her feed longer.. Just let her suck until she pulls off, then swap sides and see if she takes more. This will help establish your milk without doing demand feeding or losing your routine and will mean she is fuller from the good stuff your body creates. Dont give up! You can do this!!! Your body and boobs know what to do,
Sent from my iPhone so sorry for the spelling and punctuation!!
Just wanted to give a big hug :hug:
Congrats on your new baby! You sound like a routine is helping you gain confidence and relax into parenting, which is great! It is easy to build up your supply from here, just express between feeds and yes 60 mls is great! If you have a regular expressing time (like an hour after her 7am feed for eg) you will find you can build up that amount over time.
You can also help stimulate your breasts more by letting her feed longer on the first side, basically until she does the flutter tongue and comes off and then offer the other side (both mine have only ever taken one side though so don't stress if she only takes one side).
At this stage people are concerned that perhaps your baby is too sleepy to ask for food, which can happen. But this is *your* baby and your the mum....yes we can offer advice, but it's up to *you* what you do with that.
Parenting is all about worrying and questioning I'm afraid....you just have to do what is easiest for you and works the best for your family.
fabfiona - i dont give her a formula bottle at 9am - because ive fed her at 530/545am. so she just gets a little top up on my boob and she is good with that until 1pm.
i honestly havent tried to not give her a bottle, the thought of her hungry and crying makes me feel sick.
dh and i had a discussion this morning and ive decided to try a 15min feed on each boob just to see if she really needs the bottle.
but in saying that i will be still topping up with formula if she needs it & i will be expressing after each feed to make sure they are empty - dh gives her an ebm bottle at 9pm so it wont be wasted anyway..
i understand where everyone is coming from with the demand feeding but i cant do it. its never been an option - it makes me nervous.
hoti - thanks for that article, some of the stuff i dont really agree with, and some of the things im already doing.
thanks everyone
I remember being told a breastfed newborn should be fed 8-12 times a day for the first month.
Don't want to sound mean, but I really doesn't sound like you are feeding enough! A little feed at 9 after a feed at 5:30 then none till 1pm really doesn't seem enough!
I think if you are concerned, and you must have been to post, I would speak to a good LC. And try to take advice from one source only. You might br told the complete opposite tocwhat I have just said, and so much conflicting advice may just confuse and upset you more.
I had a sleepy baby for the first 3 weeks. Then he suddenly *woke up* , but that is a whole other story!
i dont need to be judged by you - this is the exact thing im talking about - you make me feel bad
i didnt want to post this and be judged. i wanted to hear stories about people who do what i do.
im sorry i posted this thread.
Come on. Deep breaths. It soundsclike you are an exhausted new mum. Many of us have been there, but it sounds like there is more to it than just the feeding issue.
Find someone trusting and talk to them.
im not exhausted. im a new mum who needs to hear thay wat im doing is ok. not made to feel like im not feeding my child enough.
Alish,
I have read what you have posted & I think it sounds like you are going along just fine! Continue with decreasing the formula and this should increase your milk b/c bubs will feed more from you. Bubs is still so young and really all babies feed differently. So, your Hayden feeds four hourly and others babies demand feed - sound 'normal' to me! I personally wouldn't wake a sleeping baby, unless they were really unsettled at night, then I'd wake more during the day for feeds (JMO of course). FWIW my gf comp feed her DS and then exclusively bf him up until about 12 mo. Best of luck Alish, you sound like you are working it all out from here!
Hun it's not judgement, the only way we can learn is parents is to hear all the advice people have to offer, and then make our own decisions on what we think is best, pick and choose what advice we take.
You said that the thought of her crying and hungry makes you feel sick (fair enough!) but have you considered she might be quiet but hungry? Just as babies cry for no reason whatsoever, they can also NOT cry for food too...for example I feed my DD as soon as she wakes up, I see crying for food as a last resort, not a sign she's finally hungry (granted, some bubs will cry as soon as they wake for food, DD does this sometimes). Afterall, we don't have to get to the point of bawling for food.:
There is no judgement in this thread at all, all I see are other mums giving you support and advice. Something I've read in almost every post is people telling you that you're doing well! Because you are. Advice and opinions aren't judgement at all :hug:
You said demand feeding makes you nervous. Why is that? I am the type of person that worries a lot and needs to SEE what is happening. DD was bottle fed (and cup, and spoon) ebm for the first week and a bit because of attachment problems, and seeing how many ml she was getting was my comfort blanket. The first few weeks of exclusively bf were scary because I had no way of controlling it. Now, to help thy side of me, I have a tracker on my phone that I enter all of DD's feeds into, as well as nappies and sleeps. It helps me see what her natural pattern is and how regularly she feeds (every 2-4 hours max at 3 months, aside from sleeping through the night). Maybe that is something to consider to help you feel more 'safe' iykwim.