DS is fed to sleep. Every. Single. Sleep. I want to start teaching him to self settle for his day naps.
Where do I start?
my dream of him just picking it up in his own time is seemingly never going to happen
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Feeding to sleep
DS is fed to sleep. Every. Single. Sleep. I want to start teaching him to self settle for his day naps.
Where do I start?
my dream of him just picking it up in his own time is seemingly never going to happen
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Your DS is almost the same age as my DD3 and she's also fed to sleep every single sleep! I love the fact that it's (sometimes) quick, always works, is a lovely way for her to fall asleep etc but yes, it would be wonderful if now someone else could get her to go to sleep!
I've done the same thing with all 3 girls - the other two started self settling around 15 months or thereabouts. For me, using suggestions in Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution book worked both times previously.
Good luck!
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I'm doing it right now.
I did with ds too, when I wanted to stop, I replaced a feed with rocking. It worked for me.
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it can seem such a tie - feeding to sleep. If you want to stop it you need to break the habit, gently, and replace it with something else. It requires patience. But it might be cuddling, lying with your child, or a book and drink of wanter before bed.
However, remember, many mothers of breastfeeding toddlers feel they have a true gift - the power to put a grumpy and tantruming toddler to sleep in 10 sucks - then you can get on with your life. It's not to be taken lightly!
Elizabeth Pantley has a "No Cry Nap solution" book you might find useful
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i fed both my boys to sleep for every single sleep too and they did eventually give it up themselves (i never believed thay actually would at the time, but they did)! i found it the easiest option at the time, and like barb says, it is a special gift that many of my other friends didn't have.
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FWIW the ONLY Feeds DD has now are her nap time ones. I have thought many many times that she should be over it by now but its really her only "vice".
Admittedly its getting harder because she is getting heavy to lift as I get up from my rocking chair and get her into her cot and there are a few nights she she just won't go to sleep on the boob so I put her in her cot face down and just pat and rub her back until she falls asleep - usually within 10 mins but theats never without a screaming battle from her.
There have been the very very few nights when she has come off the boob and I have just left her head on my chest and continued to rock her which is really really lovely but then its the same lifting issue.
Either she'll stop BF to sleep in her own time or my back will break in the process
Nae x
Maybe you could try feeding until he is sleepy then take boob off him and rock or something? is he a dummy sucker? DD empties a breast in minutes the rest is comfort sucking so if he likes a dummy (DD doesn't) when he gets to that sleep stage you could slip the dummy in?
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DS was fed to sleep right up til I weaned him at almost 2. The second I weaned him, out went the day sleeps!!!
He had started to crash out on the floor at nights without it by then though
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I actually really love it. It's quick and easy and boobie snuggles are cute... I don't really know to be honest, I just feel at that age maybe he should know how to self settle by now? I do really want him to make the transition on his own and it helps to know there are boobie addicts that have.
There are nights tho, on the third wake up where my personal space does feel a little invaded, and his night time feed is horrible. I just seem to have alot of trouble getting him to relax with the excitement of DH being home and he is constantly on and off like a yoyo. It's like he cluster feeds all over again because he can't make his mind up. I've tried sitting in his darkened room but he just escapes
I don't know. I think with how frequently he wakes up during the night and the only thing we have never tried is teaching him to self settle I feel it might be my magical solution some nights.
Sorry if none of that made sense, I'm having a real internal battle with myself over it XD
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Helle - if you are fine with it and it's working, I am sort of in the "don't rock the boat" mindset. But, if it is an issue - like you want your DH to be able to put DS to sleep etc etc I understand where you are coming from. It's so hard isn't it.............
We were BF and bottle feeding and DD seemed to need the milk to get her off to sleep. We started giving her milk 30 minutes before sleep time during the day and found this made her drowsy anyway but we'd sort of rouse her for a bit of a calm play and then we replaced the feed to sleep with a grobag and a bunny. I have had my regrets about the bunny but it did work and now as soon as she's in that grobag and gets her bunny, her fingers go in her mouth and her eyes close. It's almost like magic, sleep triggers work for us.
We kept feeding to sleep for night feeds, I ended up having to go into the bedroom and shut the door and feed after saying all the goodnights until DD decided she didn't want milk at night before bed anymore and just started to refuse me.
Good luck hun. Xx
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Helle, there is a reason why my DH spends just about EVERY night on the couch!! I got so tired of him being a novelty for DD (neithers fault) that one night I just snapped and told him the reason she wasn't sleeping was because he was there and he needed to bugger off into one of the other bedrooms - he choose the couch!
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We don't co-sleep. Jack never took to it, he prefers to sprawl out once he IS asleep. It's just getting him there that seems to be an issue at bed times. He's just too busy!
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Evenings can be so tiring when they won't settle
Dd used to self settle, but it didn't make her sleep through the night. The only thing that improved night times was night weaning her at 18 months (I was pg)...but then I had to give her bananas in bed because she was so hungry! Some babies need constant food and dd was always a very frequent feeder (and still is, although now it's hard finding a million nutritious snacks a day).
Dd will settle without a boob now, but we still lie down with her. It's easier when they're bigger and you can reason with them a bit more.
I think it sounds like feeding to sleep works great for you...but you might need to tweak the evening ritual so dh doesn't rev up your ds too much...otherwise I would look at the number and timing of day sleeps so that ds is really ready for bed at night, so he only needs a quick feed.
Hth
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Well the last few nights we've been waking hourly and feeding around the clock. So often that my bodies even scared of more babies and shut down and sent AF on holidays! I hate it when that happens!
I don't mind the initial falling to sleep feed... It's the subsequent feeds after that. Last night when he woke at 3, after only having a feed at 2 I told him no. He sobbed for awhile, nothing dramatic and fell asleep to some snuggles instead so he obviously doesn't need it at much as he thinks. I'm almost scared to admit it, but I did let him have a quick suckle at 3am, but I couldn't do it. My space felt invaded. I was sitting there with my teeth clenched urging him to hurry the hell up, I really just didn't want him on me anymore. It wasnt one of my prouder mummy moments. -.-;
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I have wrenched a nipple put of dd's mouth before and had ideas of pushing her when sleep deprived and feeling breastfeeding aversion. It's hard. I think you could definitely try weaning him off feeding every time he wakes...why not start with every second feed? Try rubbing his back etc...
Otherwise, you could night wean, but there will be some tears...doesn't mean you have to stop feeding to sleep, just that boobies need sleep too
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We're struggling with frequent night wake ups and I'm just shattered, totally exhausted. Every time he wakes I tense up and get annoyed even before I've gotten out of bed. It is not a good state of affairs but we have had illness that has made it tonnes worse.
When he is recovered from his current infection and I am not so shattered, we will be night weaning. I need my nights back. I need some space, before my bad mummy moments turn into bad mummy, period.
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I think I would like to night wean but I'm paranoid with the what ifs.
What if he IS hungry?
What if he IS thirsty?
What if he is sick?
It's too hard!
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Get a sippy cup of water that doesn't leak and put it in reach in his bed...then when he wakes you could offer that first. If he's hungry you'll know because he won't settle without a boob!
I would try maybe next weekend or when your dh is home to help/let you sleep in.
If it's a disaster you can keep feeding as you are and try again in a month...his level of understanding is growing exponentially and soon he will understand that 'boobies are asleep'.
Try searching for some threads on night weaning...I'm sure there have been some.
Good luck!
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I've only read some of your posts
I just had to wean my DS down to about 5 feeds due to my health. My naturopath said that he should be able to go 8 hours without a feed, but i'm finding now after 2months 6hours is the max.
DS is a co-sleeper and so we put him in a separate room in a hopes that he won't want my milk to go back to sleep which was what we were doing. (he would wake every 45mins then have a few sucks and go back to sleep). It didn't work to start with, so i just fed him when he wanted it... but each time i would pick him up and give him a toy to cuddle and rock him in the rocking chair back to sleep. if he was too upset and really wanted milk i would give it to him. Over the couple weeks it got less and less feeds and he'd just go to sleep with me cuddling/rocking him. But he would still wake frequently.
I then started feeding him like usual before bed but then i would put him in his bed awake/sleepy. I then sat next to him (for up to an hour!) and taught him what 'lay down' meant. He'd usually need help 'calming' down so i'd pat him and hold him in place till he calmed enough and was sleepy and would just drift off by himself.
Once he knew what lay down meant, when he woke up i could just go in there and say 'lay down' and he would lay down and go back to sleep sometimes without any patting. when he stood up and continued to cry i knew he was hungry and would feed him. We got down to feed at 7pm, feed at 4am, feed at 6.30am.
He is now back to old habits though and waking lots again but now he just wants to still co-sleep. as soon as i lay down with him on a matress he just snuggles into me and goes back to sleep. still has feed at 7pm, but has an extra feed in there at midnight, one around 4-5 and then he gets up and has breaky around 7.30am. every day and night is different and it still takes us a long time to put him to sleep when he is in his cot. i generally have to hold him still but he is slowly getting the idea, we are going back to co-sleeping permanantly now though cuz that's how we get more sleep!
sorry for the novel but i hope it helps
oh and we also do a sleep routine now....so as soon as he gets really grumpy between 6.30-7 we go to his lamp lit room (i make him crawl behind me so he gets in the habit of going into his room himself), get in his wrap if it's cool enough, read a book in his rocking chair, then he turns of his touch lamp and we snuggle in for a feed and then maybe go in the cot if he's still awake.
he still feeds to sleep during day sleeps though
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