Research needed re feeding

[leckert]

I'm so close to killing DH atm.

Apparently I shouldn't be offering/feeding ds2 every time he wakes or has a period of wakefulness. Ds2 is barely 8 days old.
Apparently I need to supply research that says I should be feeding ds every waking hour (ie every hour ds is awake for) This way DH won't keep bringing it up that I don't need to feed ds each time he is awake at some point - I have mentioned the "feed play sleep" and "play feed sleep" routines but this is not enough

This is mainly because I insisted on feeding ds1 to sleep overnight until he night weaned himself at about 2yrs - quicker for me to get back to sleep when DH wouldn't get up to ds overnight. Now ds1 insists that DH gets up to him - mummy won't do . DH doesn't want to do the same with ds2. Ds1's sleep went kaput at 5.5mths which is when I really fed to sleep overnight. DH seems to think that ds1's sleep habits/issues were due to me bfing overnight.

Can someone point me in the right direction of finding research/reputable articles on feeding (of either bf or ff) during waking periods of newborns/babies.

Eta I'll attempt to reread my copy of 'breastfeeding naturally' sometime soon - just remembered that I have that but not sure if that will satisfy DH


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[ss_storm]

I don't have any links for you..but geez..he's a brand new baby! Their tummies are tiny, they are growing and developing at a rapid pace, they need to eat often! The equivalent for your DH might be eating only two or three times a day, how would he like that, and not being able to eat even if you are hungry! I'd search for research about demand feeding vs feeding to a rigorous schedule as well. This baby is a completely different little person to DS1, there is absolutely nothing to say he is going to behave exactly the same way!
Good luck!! I had a battle with DF with the little bit of co-sleeping I did (and still sometimes sneak in!) with DD, I know how it feels! Xx

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I'm fairly sure that "the science of parenting" has something on this. "Beyond the sling" also has something, that is new and I haven't read it all though, just some, but it does promote demand-feeding.

[kelebek]

Try the ABA website it should have some FAQ's but honestly I would be asking him to supply you with the research that says you shouldn't be feeding that often.
It is normal for newborns to feed about 8 - 12 times a day and line anything else there is variation with that too


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[FabFiona]

You have a little baby. Tell him to do his own damn research. He should be supporting you, not questioning you.

(I mean that politely of course!)

You'll get through this and everything else that comes your way.

[e_p]

what FabFiona said. I'm sorry he's not supporting you the way he should be. Maybe you could suggest he calls ABA to discuss his concerns...I'm sure they'll blow his ideas out of the water in a gentle way. You've got more important things to worry about than doing research to justify that your baby needs to eat when it's hungry.

[leckert]

I tried telling him to "prove his argument" with research but he was in a not listening mood. Will look more at some of the links tomorrow.

Ds2 isn't as vocal as ds1 was so that's not helping - apparently I should be waiting until he demands a feed by crying even though I know that that is a late hunger sign and DH does know this - I did remind him. Ds2 is smaller than ds1 was as well so I'm aware of making sure he feeds well (he feeds more efficiently than ds1 did - finished in5-10 rather than 20min like ds1)


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[The[cookie]Doctor]

A quick google gave me this summative quote from La Leche League International -

Research now shows that restricting the amount of time at the breast and extending the time between feedings can reduce not only a mother's milk supply, but also the fat content of her milk -- resulting in a hungry, crying baby.

I think calling ABA is a good idea - 1800 mum 2 mum. If he won't do his own research or call the ABA to hear what is normal from trained professionals he needs to sod off. Pretty sure a few BBers will offer a kick up the bum!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

How did you decide that demand feeding was best? Surely you've already done the research and, if not, would welcome the chance to find out the theory behind your parenting?

Or maybe I'm really weird and just liked to do things like that.

[leckert]

I have a strong suspicion that DH has forgotten how much a newborn needs feeding - I'm happy to follow DH with regard to feeding when DS2 is older (around 4-6 mths old or more) but not when DS2 is this young. He's concerned that DS2 will turn out like DS1 with not going to sleep without feeding and not sleeping through until after 2 (DS1 didn't have that many sleeping issues except that it went to pieces at 5 1/2 mths and took quite some time to settle down again); nevermind that not sleeping through is normal up to 3/4 years old.
DS2 is also not up much yet and I've been seeing to DS2 mostly and DH hasn't done much at home with DS2 yet as it's been bf and sleeping mostly still and not much awake time so he can't really interact with him much. Also doesn't help that DH has just swapped careers from retail to tour-guiding (after completing study) and isn't really working yet and so doesn't have any set work to yet to look forward to which means he's not out the house much.

TFB - we decided bfing was good for DS1 and DS2 and I didn't want to do ff unless I really had to (I'm lazy like that ) and I know that I should demand feed to keep my supply up so for me it's a no brainer to offer DS2 a feed when he's awake, he won't take it if he's not interested.

[sloane]

Maybe he's forgotten too that milk represents meals, snacks & drinks for a baby. Not to mention a tiny tunny that can only hold small amounts & so needs to be filled regularly.

As you're the one feeding him i think you should be doing whatever works for you. I know it can be tough for dads in the early months because they cant always be as hands on as they might want but questioning you like that isnt helping!!

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[onthefly]

why does he need research to prove that the natural biological model works?
He is proposing something outside the norm and the onus of proof is on him, surely?

[~ Mylitta ~]

You can tell your DH that the more often you feed, the more fat content your milk has for your baby. When you breast fills with milk the pressure increases and the fatty content starts to stick together and to the walls of your milk glands and ducts. When you have let down the ducts enlarge to allow more milk to flow toward the nipple which dislodges some of the fat, so the milk starts to get fattier. As your baby drinks the milk the pressure in your breast decreases which allows more of the fat to dislodge. Basically, the less pressure in the breast, the fattier the milk is. So the more often you feed and the less full of milk your breast are, the fattier the milk is that your baby is getting.

I demand feed and at times my newborns (including my current newborn ) want to feed quite often. I sometimes find that when my breast are less full (and therefore the milk fattier) they want to change sides quicker. I've often wondered if they do that when they are thirsty rather than hungry and just wanting to drink the least fatty and more watery milk from each breast.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I demand feed and at times my newborns (including my current newborn ) want to feed quite often. I sometimes find that when my breast are less full (and therefore the milk fattier) they want to change sides quicker. I've often wondered if they do that when they are thirsty rather than hungry and just wanting to drink the least fatty and more watery milk from each breast.

I have always found that interesting as neither of mine have been two breast feeders ! Now that I think about it, it explains why DD might be pulling on and off frequently with some feeds.

[leckert]

Think I solved the issue

Left DH with ds2 while I dropped ds1 off at cc on monday (20min round trip on a bad day). Ds2 was sleeping when I left but woke wanting a feed before I got back.
Left ds2 with DH later in the day for a Chiro appointment (out for 1/2hr max) - DH was changing pooey nappy when I left but ds wanted a feed after that


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[kelebek]

lol so glad your DH is on board now


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[AngelPants]

Glad he's more on board hun. FWIW I'm not too far away if he needs some butt kicking

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[Miss E]

Sounds like you found the best research available hun - personal experience!

If he starts up again though, I would just call the ABA hotline and hand him the phone. With a newborn and a toddler on your hands I'm sure you've got far better things to do with any spare time you might get than research something you already know the answer to.