I have donated BM in both situations: to a stranger and to a close friend in need. the stranger was through my homebirth network and i guess had the reassurance of my pathology etc from my IM etc. and my close friend had trust in me.
I was never formally screened for the donation of BM and TBH if i was in the same situation and had access to the same support networks then I would accept.
Very interesting debate! I have donated milk myself, but never accepted. My DS was intolerant to cow milk and hypersensitive to caffeine and sugar - so just a small bit of Cadbury's would mean a nightmare 24 hours for me. I'm not going to screen mothers for their normal diet because it was a strange diet I was on. Also DH is allergic to nuts so I was also nut-free in pregnancy and BFing. I cannot in all reason ask other women to give up chocolate brazil nuts. Or sticky toffee puddings. Or to change their usual drinks.
I wouldn't accept milk from a stranger either, I would like to vet the woman if not formally test her.
Also, I fed my newborn formula. It really isn't the end of the world. I'd have preferred to have not been in hospital with bullies insisting I would never feed my child myself then trying to ensure I gave up, but that's lesson learnt for next time rather than wishing it never happened.
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