Leaving ~18 month old BFing toddler for a number of days - advice please

[Acacia]

A bit of background: I am trying to make plans to visit Australia at the moment, both to visit friends/family and to either go through more IVF treatment or to bring back our embryos to the UK.

One of the options I am thinking about seriously for a number of advantages is just coming over to Australia for a couple of days (literally) before returning, and not bringing my DD with me. I would go over for a dear friend's wedding, catch up with my family/close friends for one day and return with our embryos (I can bring them as special hand luggage on my flight), hopefully gone in total from anything between 3-5 days all up.

I was hoping to hear of anyone's experiences of leaving their LO for a few days at a time without BFing. DD is 14 months now and is still BF on demand (3-5 feeds a day currently) and she will be 17 months if and when I did this, and I expect she'll still be feeding as much as now (it hasn't changed since she was about 6 months old and she's pretty keen on her BBs).

I expect I would have to express regularly to keep my supply up, which I have no issues with (even in the yucky airplane toilets, I guess!) but I wondering if anyone has any experience or advice about how my daughter may potentially cope with this. DH would be looking after her all the time in the time I would be away, so no issues with a stranger or someone she doesn't trust caring for her - just wondering how she would manage without BBs for that time? Would the extended break mean she could potentially wean in that time? I wouldn't want to accidentally bring about weaning by doing this...

Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated as we are about to start making final decisions!

[Epacris]

Yes, she may not want to BF again when you get back, that is a risk I guess? But she may also just pick-up right where she left off and you'll have no problem at all. I guess you won't know until you actually do it.

Yes, expressing while you are away (as often as you can) will be essential to maintain your supply. What a shame you will have to dump all that precious liquid gold.

Will you express before you go to build up a supply of frozen EMB for her? Or will you just give her cows milk or formula or just water? Also, try to get your DH to give EBM/ABM to her from a cup rather than a bottle.

I think you really need to think about being away for a week (5 - 7 days). 3 - 5 days just doesn't seem realistic to me. You will be traveling for AT LEAST two of those days and you will need to sleep at some stage.

WOW! Good luck darling! What a decision, what an adventure.

[Kmn]

I know different states have different rules - are you sure you can take your embryos out of the country/state?
I had IVF with genetic testing, and was planning to send any affected embryos to a lab in England that researches bone cancer - but it would have been against the law in Victoria to do so.
Please check really thoroughly - I'd hate for you to get caught in a beaureaucratic mess.

As for the feeding - I think you have to try it in a couple of steps. How does she go if you go away for a day??
You will have to express or you will explode - but it may not have to be as often as you would be feeding.

[thepixie]

I left my DD for about 3 days when she was 15 months. She was feeding a similar amount, maybe a little less. I found that she was absolutely fine, I know you would be away longer but I wouldn't worry her diet should give her everything she needs nutritionally and if she is a milk drinker then she can drink that (my DD won't drink cow's milk unless it's a babycino) otherwise just a healthy varied diet is fine. I would repeat what the PP said - you MUST take a pump, not just to keep up your supply but if you don't you will explode. I didn't think of it, I was so busy worrying how DD would go without me. She was fine and I was bursting. By the second night I looked like I'd had a cheap boob job, and by the third day I was getting seriously worried about mastitis. Even if you can't store the milk, pump, pump, pump! And she was BFing again within five minutes of me walking in the door.
And your DD will be fine, so have a great time!

[Acacia]

Thanks for your advice, guys.

Rach - I was thinking about preparing some stored EBM for her, but I would have to see whether she would take EBM out of a sippy cup first, as it's been so long since she had it (except in her porridge, which I also stopped a while ago anyway). We've never tried EBM in a sippy cup, and I could count the number of times she's had it from a bottle on one hand, all before she was 5 months old. Not sure I could be bothered trying to build up my supply for expressing again lol - I'm too lazy now Might be easier to try getting her used to cows milk from a sippy cup - we've not tried that yet, but it might be a good time/excuse to have a go at it! In any case she drinks plenty of water during the day now, so I'm sure she'll be fine if that's all she's having plus plenty of dairy in her food. I think you're right about the time though - 3-4 days is very optimistic - I think 5 days is far more realistic, and from that point of view, it would make me more likely to consider towards taking her with me (even though I'm quite scared of the idea of a 17 month old on a 24+ hour flight on my own!). Hmmm, food for thought Thanks for your words of wisdom hun

Kmn - thanks for the tip! I think having a trial of maybe a day away would be a good way to test the waters - will definitely be considering this. As to taking our embryos out of the country - they are stored in Melbourne and I know that I am fine to bring them / have them couriered to the UK - I've been getting the process up and running from both ends (my clinic in Melbourne and my receiving clinic in the UK) at the moment. Thanks for your concern and giving me a heads up though Not sure why you were told it was illegal for you? It may have been to do with the reason for sending them o/s - mine would be for continued IVF treatment and please correct me if I'm wrong but I read your post as saying that you would have shipped them for use in medical science / research. That may make all the difference regarding the law etc. Not sure though

thepixie - thanks for your experience! Gives me hope that we could do it! I won't be taking a pump, but I'm an experienced hand expresser so I have no issues expressing large amounts by hand (full feeds), and it will save the hassle of lugging a pump etc. One of the other reasons I'm definitely considering this as an option - the ease at which I know I can manage my supply whilst away. All good - glad to hear you had no issues with DD starting up again (other than being engorged) - not sure if the amount of days would make a difference (3 as opposed to a likely 5 for me) but it's all helpful in making my decison.

Thanks again, ladies