Maintaining milk after weaning

[milkmaid]

Hello everyone,

This is potentially one of those topics that can cause alarm - if this is the case please don't be offended, just skip over rather than posting a negative response. This would be appreciate in advance.

14 months ago my husband of 20 years and I had a lovely little healthy baby girl. She is mostly on solids now with only 2 feeds a day and the time has come to wean her. However, about 8 months ago my husband and I discovered the intimate joy of adult nursing. For those unaware, this basically involves me breastfeeding my husband, usually twice a day. It is the last thing we do before we sleep at night and it is the first thing we do when we wake in the morning.

We have discovered a very intimate and loving bond since I started feeding him my milk and we have never felt more in love and completely intoxicated which each other. It is difficult to fully explain the level of intimacy we now share - we thought our relationship was wonderful before this, but this loving act has taken things to a whole new level. I wait for him all day to come home and suckle me and some weekends we lay together for hours on end with his mouth on my nipple taking my milk into his body.

Neither of us want to stop this. However I have concerns that my milk supply might reduce or dry up when baby stops feeding. The demand on my breasts will be halved and I don't know if my body will continue to produce milk with such reduced demand. Lifestyle will make it difficult if not impossible to express during the day.

Can anyone offer feedback in regards to maintaining my milk after baby has stopped? I have searched and searched but have been unable to find anything to educate myself on the process, possibly because our situation is somewhat unique and probably not talked about much.

[PumpkinZulu]

I won't comment on feeding your hubby, because it really doesn't bother me that much, and I urge anyone else responding to do so with tact.

I am not a breastfeeding expert, having only been doing it for 7 weeks, but I can only assume that your supply will drop a little, but it should be similar to feeding a baby in the way that your supply will adjust to the demand for it, does that make sense?

[Teeki]

I'm with PZ here, re supply and demand. You're currently making enough milk for what sounds like 4 feeds a day. If you wean your DD from her 2 feeds a day, I'd assume your supply would decrease to make enough for two a day, because that's what you'll then be doing.

[PumpkinZulu]

Exactly. Because it's not really weaning, you're still doing two feeds a day, so you're just decreasing the feeds by half. And if your supply drops more than you'd like, well again, it's similar to a bub...more time on the boob I guess!

[Asparagus and Lemons]

That is so wonderful that you have found a new way to be intimate with your husband.
My husband occasionally has a suck, I can understand where you are coming from, it is a completely different and wonderful sensation!
If your milk did start to decrease, maybe if your husband was not sucking enough, you could always pump around midday to keep your supply up a little bit?

[~ Mylitta ~]

You may find that an adult doesn't stimulate the breasts in the same way as an infant does, and this may also reduce the amount of milk. Apparently when children reach a certain age (around 6-8years from memory) they lose the ability to suck using their tongue in the same way as an infant and it makes it harder for them to get the milk. The sucking action of a baby helps stimulate the breast to make more milk, so I'm not sure if your breasts will produce as much milk as if an infant was suckling.

[HotI]

There are still benefits to feeding your daughter through toddlerhood, if that is something you want to do.

[TeniBear]

You could pump every now and then, and keep the milk around for coffee/tea/whatever? Breastmilk is pretty good on skin as well, so you could use it on your face...

It sounds a lovely way to bond with your husband, I've often wondered what it might be like myself


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- Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[milkmaid]

Thanks for everyone who replied and also to those who chose not to reply due to the subject manner, or the fact they may have felt repulsed by the motivation behind my post. I understand that such a topic could be view as sick, perverted or possibly even inappropriate to the vast majority (and for these forums), and I appreciate the level of maturity shown by all.

I have decided to start weaning our baby next week and will reduce her feedings down to a single midday feed. Being in the middle of the day will even out my daily milk demand as best as I can. I think I will continue with a single feed to baby for for a few weeks or even a month and keep a close eye on my milk. My husband will continue to feed and suckle as usual twice daily during this time and hopefully he will continue to receive an adequate supply. If all goes well after a month or so then hubby will begin to exclusively nurse from me. I would very much like to be able to spend more daily sessions nursing my husband but this is just not possible with him working full time plus having other younger children at home. Having young children at home is the main reason I don't feel comfortable pumping.

To those who showed general interest or curiosity in breastfeeding their husbands I strongly recommend you try as the window of opportunity does not last forever. We have two other children and never expressed love to each other in this manner in the past, not through a conscious choice it just never happened or was realised. This time around our nursing started just as casual breast kisses after we made love but quickly grew from there into something I wish we had discovered many many years ago. Our nursing has become such an intimate and loving part of our life together that neither of us ever want it to stop. If I am able to keep my milk my wish is to still be feeding my husband for the rest of our natural lives.

[TeniBear]

Oops, sorry, I didn't see the bit in your original post about not being able to express!


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- Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Could you try taking fenugreek, or regularly eating the lactation cookies? That would give your supply a bit of a boost when you wean bub....

[Babyluv]

Why wean your dd if you still have the milk? If you just keep feeding her your supply won't drop and she is still getting the very best milk for her? If you're going to still be producing the milk I say let her keep feeding.

[PumpkinZulu]

Guys come on, that's really not needed.

I've nursed my DH too (pre marital issues that is), I'm not embarrassed to put it out there but I don't think making fun of it is the way to go

[Shades]

Yeah I don't understand why you're weaning your child down but you're concerned about if your husband gets to keep going? Doesn't she need it more? I mean... It's for her, biologically speaking. Just curious.

[PumpkinZulu]

The way I read it, her daughter is 14 months and she wants to wean her. Like many people do when their child reaches a similar age. She still wants to have milk for her hubby though, and is concerned that weaning the baby will mean a drop in milk (which it will). I don't think the intention is to wean the daughter to accommodate the husband?

[milkmaid]

The way I read it, her daughter is 14 months and she wants to wean her. Like many people do when their child reaches a similar age. She still wants to have milk for her hubby though, and is concerned that weaning the baby will mean a drop in milk (which it will). I don't think the intention is to wean the daughter to accommodate the husband?

This is exactly correct. Above all, my little girl has, and will always come first. My husband and I have never enjoyed each other at the expense of our babies well being. We share a special relationship but only after our babies needs are fully satisfied.

It just feels like it is now time. Our little girl is well developed, eating solids and has for the last few months shown a declining lack of interest in breastfeeding. Our other children were also weaned at just over 12 months when showing similar attitudes. I would have no problem in continuing to breastfeed our daughter for as long as she was showing interest. I have thoroughly enjoyed breastfeeding all our children and have struggled to wean each time, not because they were not ready - but because I was enthusiastic to continue.

Thank you also to the forum mods for deleting those previous two comments, I found them a little hurtful and for the most part just plain unnecessary.

[Shades]

I see what you're saying but it seems unfair to forcibly wean one when she's happy to still be feeding the other. I'd understand more I think if the supply concern was arising as a result of the daughter self-weaning.

[PumpkinZulu]

Fair enough