Breastfeeding toddlers and older

[CruisingTurkey]

Hi everyone

This email may offend some people but it is not intended to in any way. I have thought about this for a long long time and I still cannot come up with an answer.

Can someone explain to me the benefits of breastfeeding a child that is eating and drinking like any other person or child? I am really confused as to the reason for continuing once the child is talking, eating the same meals as the rest of the family and drinking juice, milk, water etc.
I see the benefits for the mother but what could the child be gaining if nutritionally it is receiving everything it needs from food the rest of the family also eat?

I am stumped. I know babies need it. By why would a toddler 'need' it ????

CT

[HotI]

There are plenty of immunological benefits to continued breastfeeding.

[peanutter]

in short, in the same way that a cow's milk is designed for cows, and a goat's milk is designed for goats, human milk is designed for humans.

there are nutrients and positive properties in breastmilk that cannot be got anywhere else - not from cow's milk, or food, or juice, etc.

[TeniBear]

As well as the continued dietary benefits, there's the emotional. I'm out right now and I'm not supposed to be using my phone, so I'll let this link from the ABA speak for me

https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-...g-your-toddler

[meow]

Toddlers are still humans in infancy. They still benefit from the antibodies and immune boosting support. They also benefit from the growth & development support of factors such as stem cells in the milk. They benefit from the probiotics specific to the gut flora they share from their mother as their gut & digestive abilities are still developing and strengthening all the time. They benefit from the rest & sleep hormones triggered while they are still maturing in their ability to self regulate and sleep alone. They benefit from the emotional bond of being skin to skin with their mumma who they are still very reliant upon for developing a strong base of trust for lifelong emotional skills. Many, many benefits...

[Jellyfish]

There are benefits to their immunity. There are comfort benefits; soothing a child to sleep or after a fall. It helps keep digestion regular. Also, on paper it might seem simple that a toddler will have a good balanced diet, the reality can be very different and it is another way to ensure they are getting a good range of nutrients even during fussy phases.

A question I would ask is why not? What are the negatives?

[CruisingTurkey]

but from what I have read, that actually diminishes and can the child not get that from healthy, organic foods that is probably available to other members of the family too ??? If the mother isnt eating healthy foods, how can what the child is getting through breast milk be at its optimum ? and if the family are eating healthy foods, then wouldnt the child also be benifiting the same way by eating these also???

Sorry for sounding so clueless and like a goof, but I just dont understand it past a certain point. and why dont we just keep going and never stop if it has so many benefits.

sigh, the more i talk, the more confused I get by it all.

CT

[meow]

I don't understand. What foods do you think contain antibodies? Or stem cells? Or probiotics specific to what is in the mother's gut flora? And how would any of these not be contained in a mother's milk even if she has a poor diet?

Absolutely a toddler would benefit from also eating a healthy diet of organic foods.

[Maruschke]

Why not ask Mayaness? She is still going strong BF her son and I think he is 5 or 6? I am sure she would willingly share.

[HotI]

Humans are mammals. All young mammals eventually wean from their mothers. I read a study once that looked at when humans get teeth and other devlopments (bone structure?) and compared this to other mammals and predicted that without cultural influences, the natural weaning age of human children would be between 4 and 7 years of age.

[CruisingTurkey]

hmmmm...lots of responses while i was also replying. All very good points. I just get stuck on the fact that LOTS of children are not breastfed for long or at all due to no fault of the mothers and I dont think that has affected the love and bonding a mother can have with a child. HUman touch is soooo important but that is achieved in so many ways.
In my opinion, trust is a continuing and maliable thing. It changes throughout life depending on so many other things other than the mother. A mothers love is unwaivable in my opinion. Does the child really feel that his or her mother does not love them as much as a toddler breastfed baby? or does a mother love her child less because she wasnt able to breastfeed indefinitely?
There are so many turning points with this, I guess it is a personal choice. Not right, not wrong, just personal. I am not there yet, so I will have to wait and see how I feel about it all when I'm experiencing it.

CT

[Jellyfish]

Of course not, it is just another form of comfort. That is like asking if a child feels less love because they do not have a special blanket or a bear. It is just another tool in the box of parenting. Children gain comfort from many varied sources, breastfeeding can be one of them.

I'm still curious as to what the negatives of extending breastfeeding are? Why not, if possible and both within the relationship are willing?

[HotI]

Different Mums, different children, different families. What works for one may not be right for another.

Some babies see breastfeeding as a source of nutrition only, others seek it out for comfort and reassurance as well. As long as it is working for baby/child and Mum, i don't think anybody else's opinion really matters.

Breastmilk can also contain a natural pain relief, this can reduce the stress or need for medications in the young child.

I see the benefits for the mother but what could the child be gaining if nutritionally it is receiving everything it needs from food the rest of the family also eat?

Just wondering from your OP, what do you see as benefits for the Mother?

[briggsy's girl]

even if mum is eating a crummy diet, the body takes the nutrients and makes sure the breast milk is balanced with the nutrients needed for the child.

as has been said, there are many benefits to breastfeeding a toddler. it's all been explained so i'll give you a specific example. my DD is 27 months and still BF at least a couple of times a day (last thing before bed, first thing in the morning) - and other times if she is unwell/teething/upset for some reason. before Christmas, we had gastro go through our family in a big way. i was sick for two days, but continued to feed DD in case she was exposed, as the immune factors would be transferred to her. She became ill for only a matter of about TWO HOURS, compared to my two days, hubby's two days, and then me becoming ill again after DH was ill. Two hours when our house was pretty much knocked on it's backside for over a week with gastro. i personally believe if she hadn't been BF, she would have become far more ill. she was feeding for comfort due to feeling crummy, which meant she stayed hydrated (something i struggled with myself) which we would have struggled with had she only had water (she doesn't normally have juice etc). my DD eats a very healthy diet for a toddler (thankfully) but she did go off her food and had primarily BM for a couple of days - one, because she is a social critter, and her parents weren't eating, and two, it allowed her to be close to me when i was incapable of getting out of bed.

we are biologically "built" to feed well into toddlerhood and beyond. at a certain age (different for each child) the shape of the mouth tends to change, to make BF less successful (generally when losing baby/milk teeth from memory - hence the reason we don't BF forever). if you can, google "breastfeeding in the land of ghengis khan" - it's an interesting read about the different societal attitudes to BF in Mongolia. in a society where BF til natural weaning occurs, it's a very different attitude. adults will drink EBM readily if it's available etc. there are reported cases of women expressing to provide EBM to cancer patients due to the benefits it provides them.

to be honest, i aimed to BF til six months (exclusively) and then let nature take it's course and DD would wean. cos that's what everyone does, right? but we got to six months, and i realised it was a number - six months was ok to feed, beyond wasn't?? how does that work? one day is ok, the next isn't? so i decided to go to 12 months. and when we got to 12 months, i asked myself how her birthday could dictate that we no longer feed. was being 11 months 30 days more needing of BM than she was at 12 months? after that, i decided to go with natural weaning. whenever that happens. yeah, some days i wonder if it would be easier if DD was weaned - but reality is, it isn't hurting her, it isn't hurting me, it isn't hurting ANYONE. yeah, some people may find it weird, but that's about THEIR filters, THEIR take on things, THEIR "acceptance" of our societies "norms", not the reality of what is biologically "normal". if someone is in our home and doesn't like that i still BF my DD, we have a front door - they are welcome to walk out.

i think the best thing you can do is have no expectations of what is and isn't the "right" age to cease your BF relationship with your child. go with the flow, and work it out as you go. you may be fine BF an older child, or you may have reasons not to continue - but don't try and work it all out in your head when you're only a few months pregnant - it honestly isn't worth it! all you'll do is tie yourself up in knots trying to decide what is going to be right for you and what won't. let your heart guide you when baby arrives, and steer clear of societies pre-conceived notions of how long you "should" BF or when you "should" stop. do what feels right for you.

[CruisingTurkey]

Of course not, it is just another form of comfort. That is like asking if a child feels less love because they do not have a special blanket or a bear. It is just another tool in the box of parenting. Children gain comfort from many varied sources, breastfeeding can be one of them.

I'm still curious as to what the negatives of extending breastfeeding are? Why not, if possible and both within the relationship are willing?

Hi Jellyfish

well as far as negatives go I guess it is the other side of the coin to alot of the emotional benefits mentioned. As far as comforting the child, if the child becomes reliant on the breast to 'feel better' when something happens or goes wrong, can that be detrimental to the development of independence and confidence which is vital to the brain and learning development?
If there are other older members of the family, wouldnt they be wondering why they were 'cut off' but other children in the family still have access??

What happens to the relationship between the mother and father/partner? Does the husband/partner feel less important and further down the ladder in terms of importance and affection? Does he stop viewing his partner in the same way and only see her as the mother of his children. I know this depends alot on individuals, but relationships cop such a battering in the first few years of parenthood and it concerns me that men/partners get what ever is left over and overlooked alot of the time. I have seen so may relationships become shadows of what they once were, it is a big issue i think.

As you can see, I am blabbing whatever comes to my mind. I may think on these things more as time plods on and find some answers that work for me. There are just soooo many opinions out there and when it comes to babies and pregnancy, there seem to be alot of very strong views. Just wading my way through them....slowly

[PumpkinZulu]

I plan on feeding my daughter from the breast for as long as she wants it for all the wonderful benefits mentioned above, but as an aside, I also decided from the moment I started producing milk to continue to pump for my family after my daughter has weaned. I don't believe that there is any reason (or benefit) to cows milk. It's designed for a different species that has two stomachs to process it. I am human, my family is human, so I figure my daughter can have human milk on her cereal each morning instead of cows. Not everyone will agree to that. Meh.

[CruisingTurkey]

Of course not, it is just another form of comfort. That is like asking if a child feels less love because they do not have a special blanket or a bear. It is just another tool in the box of parenting. Children gain comfort from many varied sources, breastfeeding can be one of them.

I'm still curious as to what the negatives of extending breastfeeding are? Why not, if possible and both within the relationship are willing?

btw, i like the 'tool box' analogy !

[Babyluv]

Cruising Turkey you seem to already have developed strong opinions regarding breastfeeding toddlers. Are you genuinely curious and wanting to learn or are you wanting to prove a point? Just curious as you seem quite opinionated on the topic.