Following on from BG's thread OWNING YOUR CHOICES i just wanted to get this out.
This is NOT to start a debate on BF or FF (as this is already well and truly brewing) this is MY OWN personal choice and my journey with BFing both my girls.

When i had DD1 i found BF really hard at the start, she had attachment issues and i found the staff at the hospital really didn't help in my questions as a first time mum, one MW actually said to me when i asked for the millionth time about it "well what will you do when you get home" well ummm thats why i am asking YOU.... NOW!
I am a stress head and the first few days at home were HELL for me not only was i dealing with what i guess was the shock of DD1's birth and about how beautiful and natural it was and how i should trust my body which at the time seemed to be failing me in the feeding department, DD1 was SLOW at putting on weight and i was worried i was doing it all wrong.
Eventually we got our groove and things were BRILLIANT but then as they say 'all good things must come to an end'

I had an operation to remove my gall bladder, all good DD1 took formula (as i had issues expressing and her refusing EBM) for a couple of days then we were back to BFing.. through gritted teeth and with determination but still we did it...
THEN i ended up back in hosp, over a w/end and public holiday, 6 days in all and my milk dried up, i was on a drip, had no energy and was on pain meds and DD couldn't stay with me... i was SHATTERED.. she was 5mths and i had failed her.

It took me a while to get over it and i was so annoyed when my cousins DW (who's son is 3 days older than A) decided she wanted to switch him to the bottle as she thought it would be easier.. i know it's her choice but i felt like screaming at her NO NO NO keep going keep going.... she had done 6mths and she was happy with that and moved onto formula.. it was her choice and i accepted that.

When i had DD2 i was sooo ready to BF, how hard could it be the 2nd time round right.. i've done it all before... ahhh WRONG.....
Again with the attachment issues, my poor poor (.)(.) we killing me and all i kept getting told was you have to remember to 'show' her how to attach, she's not the 5mth old you stopped feeding, she's a newborn.
She had 2 horrid nights in hospital and i thought back to all the lovely words about co-sleeping and letting baby attach herself so when the MW's weren't looking i laid her on a pillow, snuggled her in close and let her do her thing.

it took a week but i finally got my happy (.)(.) back and DD2 grew like a weed, i was so happy, we made it to 5mths and i could have dance to the moon and back.
She's 9mths next mth and we are still feeding, atleast 3 feeds a day plus 1-2 night feeds but i don't mind one bit i love that i can provide this amazing gift for my daughter and i only wish the women who can't physically do this could experience that feeling.

So many people have said why don't you put her on the bottle.. she's a velcro baby she could do with some time away from you, then cousins DW says tonight so you putting that kid on a bottle yet?????

1. yes she is clingy but if you were allowed to be attached to a warm comfy loving boob all day wouldn't you be!

2. I HAVE tried EBM but she didn't take it, it's not that i don't WANT time alone i am doing what i think best for my daughter, if she wants cuddles she can have them.

3. She had an allergic reaction to yoghurt, we are awaiting testing at RCH why on earth would i give her formula.. it's essentially DAIRY so NO i will NOT try FORMULA.

4. ABOVE ALL ELSE IT'S MY DECISION, I LOVE BREASTFEEDING, I AM COMFORTABLE WITH IT... WE ARE NOT HURTING ANYONE, MY DAUGHTER IS GROWING LIKE A WEED, SHE'S HEALTHY and generally HAPPY.. I HAVE BOOBS.. I AM USING THEM IN THE MANNER THEY WERE CREATED FOR.

I am all for people makign the best choice for them regarding BFing or FFing, these people are more than aware that i am willing to go to hell and back to try and feed her for as long as possible.. i wish they wouold stop asking stupid questions and let me be.

I felt i wanted to get this all out, my journey with DD1 was not as easy as i allow people to believe, nor was the beginning of the journey with DD2.. i hve worked damn hard to get to feeding this long and i WILL NOT give up based on society's idea that my daughter NEEDS to be less clingy and have time with other ppl...

Ahh that feels better.. sorry ppl.. no need to reply.. vent over.. debrief over.. ah yes i feel good.

to my beautiful Z for enjoying her mummy's boobies for this long.. and lets hope that little nibble you gave tonight was a once off.