Thanks Mantaray and Starangelk for the advice. Will try those tips and see if they help. Sometimes when she finds the nipple herself she latches on such that it hurts so she must be only sucking on the nipple. It's just really heart breaking to see her so frustrated and keep crying when she can't get milk from the breast then she's all happy once she starts drinking from the bottle.
I've called the MW at the hospital and they've also worked out how much EBM she needs to have. So I'll try to get her latch on each time but if it doesn't work I might eventually still offer her the bottle so she gets something to drink. Got the maternal child nurse coming on Tues, too bad tmr is a public holiday!