So today, 1 day shy of 20 months, we've had no booby.
I started off just thinking I wasn't going to offer/do the feeds that I think are mostly habit, but not refuse if he asked, and then found myself seeing if he could be easily distracted when asking by something like breakfast or dinner, which he was. He only asked once at dinner-time (was at DC today) and was more than happy to eat his meal instead when I asked him and got up to warm it.
This was originally an attempt to reduce the habit feeds to make it easier on him when I have to leave him with DP to go away for 5 days end of August - we figured if there were no habitual morning/bedtime etc feeds then he'd notice my absence less at those times than if he was looking for those feeds.
Now I'm wondering if I'm going to end up accidentally weaning him... We'll see tomorrow I guess, he always feeds more when he is at home with me, and we'll be home most of the afternoon, though out in the morning (we don't feed when out anymore).
Not sure how I feel about it. He doesn't seem bothered in the slightest... was more than happy to have breakfast and dinner instead, first when he woke (usually we have a lie in and a long sleepy feed) then at dinnertime when he asked but was quick to accept the offer of a solids meal. And then no booby before bed either - which we miss out on half the time anyway.
As long as I don't sit on the couch I reckon he'll barely notice.
If I sit down though and then deny - I think we'll have epic tantrums... Does that mean he's not ready to wean though or just that it's a habit and he wants his way?
I'm not sure if I want him to completely wean... but it seems a slippery slope here and an easy stress-free option for all and it's tempting to continue... just worried I'll regret it. Or that I'll feed him and then we'll go back to him hanging off me every second I sit down, and then I'll regret that I didn't stop.
I just don't know.
Sorry for the long post - mine always seem really long
I think, no matter what happens, 20 months is a huge effort and you should be very proud. We are at the same point in our BFing journey so I know how you feel! I agree that it'll probably be easier for your trip away if you continue with your don't offer/don't refuse method. But, only you can make that decision in the end. I hope it's an easy transition for the both of you, when it does happen.
Goodluck x
Thanks. I guess I'm just after reassurance that it's not going to do him any harm having it be my decision instead of his. I've been wanting to go the baby-led route with as much as possible and departing from that path is making me worry I'm being selfish.
i think that's where the 'don't refuse' bit comes in, but it's hard to tell sometimes what is refusing and what is offering an alternative (like breakfast) that the child takes up.
hopefully, a day at home will make it clearer what is going to work for both of you, and where you will put your boundaries.
Hugs hun No advice on weaning, but just wanted to let you know that you have done an amazing job to feed your DS for 20 months. I hope you can come to peace with your decision soon, whatever that may be
We've left my partner now (who thought feeding at this age was a bit icky) and I'm not going to be needing to go away so I started bringing him into bed with me again in the morning and he's feeding again. Guess we're not done after all. I'm quite relieved that I can still give the comfort of booby to help in this time of upheaval.
Sorry to hear about your relationship breakup that's pretty tough, CJ would think of her as his other Mum & now you walk down the path of single mum again
Do what feels right for you, if you can give some booby comfort in the mornings, go for it babe!
I'm hoping he'll forget her soon enough (he's still a baby really) she doesn't want to see him and we are honestly both better off on our own I think, which is why I decided to leave. He hasn't asked for her and he last saw her Monday morning.
He knows who his mum is, that's you & you are doing an amazing job! If he's not asking after her & she doesn't want to see him then you guys are definitely better off on your own. Sounds like it's been a pretty tough time though. Big cuddles for your little man & lots of strength & postive vibes for you
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I think we may be finishing...
No advice on weaning, but just wanted to let you know that you have done an amazing job to feed your DS for 20 months. I hope you can come to peace with your decision soon, whatever that may be
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