What would you give up in order to BF your bub?

[HotI]

What would you give up in order to BF your bub?

health?
career?
sport?
habit?

[Lulu]

Anything but health.

[feeb]

Anything but health.

Same

[Laranna]

Everything but health. I can postpone all those other things, but health is important because I want to be there for my kids and be capable of looking after them.

[Winter]

Anything & I'd even let my health slide a little too as long as it wasn't my mental health as I think that is really important to look after when looking after a baby.

Hope you're ok Kate and this is just a hypothetical question....

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

I'm not sure that I'd give up ANYTHING in order to breastfeed my baby. And the really good news is that you don't have to.
Statistics show formula feeding mothers have poorer health outcomes in both the short term and long term, and so do their babies. Just like at any stage of your life you can have health issues while you are breastfeeding. The really sad thing in our society is that breastfeeding women are often not treated for medical conditions that they are experiencing. Unfortunately they are often told that breastfeeding is the cause and the solution is to stop breastfeeding. And women accept it. Imagine being told to stop using your foot because you had a sore on your big toe that you couldn't get treatment for?
Career wise I am really proud of what I have done over the last 17yrs I have been breastfeeding - including a whole new career in lactation. You don'thave to give up the food you like - most women just follow a healthy diet. You could breastfeed on a tim tam and a can of coke if you wanted (OK - you'd feel like hell, but your milk would be fine) You don't even have to give up the occasional glass of wine. Babies are portable and you can feed them anywhere - a few days at home gave me cabin fever, so I was always glad to be out and about with only my boobs and a spare nappy.
Starting a family brings a whole lot of life chages - more profound than at any other time of our lives. It can be hard at first. It can be hard anytime. After you have children everything is a compromise between your needs and their needs no one entirely gets their own way again. And that is as it should be - but not easy at first.
Katie, am I right in thinking you or some-one close to you is having a tough time with breastfeeding right now?

[Jennifer13]

I don't imagine I'd have to give up anything that I hadn't already given up to be pg and therefore become a mother in the first place. I structured my whole lifestyle around having a family, and that was for pg, baby, toddler, bfing and now pre-schooler. Some of that meant giving up part of my health (pg and birth always affects your body - but then there are some positives from bfing), career (I don't work full-time and of course that has some affect), sport (no high impact, high risk for me - not that I was particularly into it anyway! ) and habit (sleeping in, drinking - not that I did much, but you get the idea). It's just a fact that you choose one path and others won't be travellled.

I prefer to focus on everything I gained by becoming a mother and bfing my child and now continuing to care for in the best way possible. And that well and truly outweighs what I have given up!

[Rouge]

I wouldn't give up anything either. And like Barb I don't think you have to.

[Traveller]

I gave up lots to breastfeed my babies. I gave up being selfish, thinking only about myself. I gave up overindulging in alcohol and fatty foods with no thought to my health. I gave up sleeping peacefully every night. However I don't think I could have avoided giving up any of these things by not breastfeeding, it was a natural extension of being pregnant for me. IMHO motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice no matter how you parent.

[Phteven]

I gave up my 10c bras but I bought hot milk ones instead so I survived. Other than that I didn't have to give anything up.
I think that breastfeeding works best when a mother doesn't feel like she has to martyr herself to it.

I think that maybe there are things that you might have to give up to breastfeed but they are the kind of things that you gain by giving up - excessive drinking, heavy smoking, partying every night, a crack habit.... that kind of stuff. If you give them up to breastfeed then your health can only benefit.

[Gigi]

I gave up my 10c bras but I bought hot milk ones instead so I survived. Other than that I didn't have to give anything up.
I think that breastfeeding works best when a mother doesn't feel like she has to martyr herself to it.

I think that maybe there are things that you might have to give up to breastfeed but they are the kind of things that you gain by giving up - excessive drinking, heavy smoking, partying every night, a crack habit.... that kind of stuff. If you give them up to breastfeed then your health can only benefit.

and also from TRAVELLER
I gave up lots to breastfeed my babies. I gave up being selfish, thinking only about myself. I gave up overindulging in alcohol and fatty foods with no thought to my health. I gave up sleeping peacefully every night. However I don't think I could have avoided giving up any of these things by not breastfeeding, it was a natural extension of being pregnant for me. IMHO motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice no matter how you parent.

i agree with these two posts.

and the bit about not being a matryr. i had a breakthrough, at a time when i started to resent feeding my baby, purely by changing my words. i made a headspace change from "feeding on demand" - which i resented - to "feeding by request", which instead made me feel needed by my child.

I think, i KNOW my child had a very rough entry to this world, due to a traumatic labour event - we did not bond well. i actually perceive our breastfeeding relationship, as something we needed, to heal each other, to learn to "be" with each other. All those times of sitting on the sofa, feeding. It has taught me patience and to be "in the moment", when normally, i would resent that time on the sofa. So i see it, in retrospect, as a lesson i needed to be taught. I also see our extended bf-ing as another lesson. We DID need longer to bond than other mothers/children do. It was what was right for us.

ANd yes, my alcohol intake and ability to go out at night has reflected this, but i don't mind, and i made sure i didn't leave my child with anyone, until i was ready to do that. so it was my choice.

i can see many benefits from bf-ing (i have a bad back, and i KNOW if i had had to carry formula around in the nappy bag, i would have suffered from the extra weight). I think if i had NOT gone to ABA meetings when pregnant, i would have had the expectation, that bf-ing would all be easy, and i might have buckled at first medical hassle e.g mastitis, but because i HAD gone to ABA meetings, i had an expectation of "hiccups" along the way, and knowing where to ask for help, i think helped me troubleshoot any medical issues that DID come up. pre-warning was very helpful to me.

everyone's experience is different. i can only base my thoughts, on what i experienced. but i learnt so much from reading about other people's experiences of bf0ing. (and still do).

Lots about parenting is about putting another person first, this is no different.

[nattyfred]

I gave up lots to breastfeed my babies. I gave up being selfish, thinking only about myself. I gave up overindulging in alcohol and fatty foods with no thought to my health. I gave up sleeping peacefully every night. However I don't think I could have avoided giving up any of these things by not breastfeeding, it was a natural extension of being pregnant for me. IMHO motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice no matter how you parent.

Exactly. I do think we give up these things but I wouldnt want to give up the beautiful connection that V and I have and how she sees me as an extension of herself.. I love BF and that is from someone who was adamant I would NEVER do it....Oh how things change lol

[Jennifer13]

I love BF and that is from someone who was adamant I would NEVER do it....Oh how things change lol

natty - I can't believe you said that and look at you now!! I think I might start a new thread.

[Cherished]

health? No, my health and the health of my dh is just as important as the health of our children. How can we look after them if our bodies are not functioning as well as they can be?
career? Yes
sport? Yes but there are plenty of other physical activities that a mum could do instead of a sport which was interfering with breast feeding
habit? Yes

There is a little debating going on about a comment along the lines of breast is best. I know that research can slant their findings to support any view, full stop. There is no debating that fact. I agree with mad scientist and I would question what cross section of the population was actually involved in the research? I think breast is probably best for your average healthy woman as far as nutrition goes for their babies. Having said that I'd go as far as to say that the majority of woman in the world (yes when you look at the global population I'd say the majority) do not have access to great food and or lifestyle options or choose a less than optimal lifestyle to be producing milk which is nourishing to their babies. In these cases maybe formula is a better choice for them. Then there are so many other factors to consider also such as mental health and the general wellbeing for mother and the rest of the family. It is a shame that many woman who formula feed feel shun by society as 'bad mothers' just as many woman who end up have having a cesarean feel a huge amount of guilt.

Kate if you are asking this question for yourself or a friend my advice would be to take care of yourself 1st because that is ultimately taking care of your baby

[Liz]

Only things I really gave up were caffeine & alcohol.. and that was my choice.. i know you can actually still have them whilst breastfeeding.

I find it a strange question actually.. cos the answers to me are the same as how I would answer what I would give up to be a mother. Why be specific about breastfeeding? Why not What did you give up in order to change nappies 10 times a day?

I guess I've given up a lot of time to be a mum. But to be honest, on the feeding front, I think more time would be given up to formula feed.

[Gigi]

Turtleshell - i hear you on the clothing front. I found bf-ing a lot easier, once i worked out what breastfeeding clothing to buy. There wasn't much for me to try on (very few shops that sold this stuff IRL where i live) so it took me a while, online, to work it out. But once i did, it changed how i felt, bf-ing anywhere, but especially bf-ing when out of home. Once i had clothing that covered my stomach and ONLY exposed my nipple (which was covered by my baby's mouth and head anyhoo), i personally felt better, feeding in public. i was initially put off by expensive bf-ing clothing, but later found stuff more affordable at sites like Nuvo Maternity and Almost Mum. Some tops i bought, were so nice, no-one even guessed they were bf-ing tops.

Belfie - i consider you breast fed your child. You used your breasts to give your child breastmilk, doesn't matter the conduit (nipples or pump), your child still received breastmilk. i personally did very little pumping and i didn't like the sensation, so anyone who can continaully pump for their child, wow, you get alot of respect from me.

i don't think in black and white terms about breastfeeding. There will always be individual situations, and you can only take each instance at a time. i think, if you CAN breastfeed, if your child CAN suckle, tha'ts great. but i don't assume it will happen. bresatfeeding is an ideal to me, one that became very important to me, but at every stage (and even today) i feel so lucky that it happened for us. i feel grateful, as i have come to realise, it doesn't come to pass for every mum that wants to do it.

i am very grateful for the health benefits that breastfeeding has given my DD3.5 and myself, i don't take them for granted at all.

Health wise, i had such a bad back and wrecked stomach muslces after my messed up c-section, if i had had to lug around formula as well, the extra weight to carry, would have been a big hassle for me - in my situation. But if our early bf-ing issues had not been worked out (took us four months, to work it out), then i would have had to do it. Cos that's what you do, you do what you have to do, for your child.

Mother guilt is a biggie
we all seem to beat oursleves up about some aspect of our mothering
the truth is, we're all doing the best we can, in OUR situation, for OUR child.

[Traveller]

health? No, my health and the health of my dh is just as important as the health of our children. How can we look after them if our bodies are not functioning as well as they can be?
career? Yes
sport? Yes but there are plenty of other physical activities that a mum could do instead of a sport which was interfering with breast feeding
habit? Yes

There is a little debating going on about a comment along the lines of breast is best. I know that research can slant their findings to support any view, full stop. There is no debating that fact. I agree with mad scientist and I would question what cross section of the population was actually involved in the research? I think breast is probably best for your average healthy woman as far as nutrition goes for their babies. Having said that I'd go as far as to say that the majority of woman in the world (yes when you look at the global population I'd say the majority) do not have access to great food and or lifestyle options or choose a less than optimal lifestyle to be producing milk which is nourishing to their babies. In these cases maybe formula is a better choice for them.

I see your point, however science has determined that even when a mother is malnourished she can still produce good quality milk for her baby. In addition when a baby is raised in a household with poor nutrition he/she is more likely to be exposed to disease or poor health so the immune benefits of breastmilk are even more important. Also if a mother is desperately poor and unable to feed herself properly then the introduction of formula is an expense which is likely to tip the family over the edge. 1.5 million children (data from baby milk action) die worldwide due to not being breastfed, and the majority of these children are in poor families where the mother has been convinced her milk is not good enough due to her diet. Sadly the parents cannot afford formula in correct proportions so water it down or mix it with dirty water (as that is all they have access to) and this is where babies die. In poor families with little or no access to health care I would argue that breastfeeding is far more important an issue than it is in our wealthy western society.

Of course mental health is an important issue when determining to continue BFing or not, and issues such as medication and illicit drug use must also be taken into account. So must personal choice, regardless of the reason why. However the research as it stands is IMHO indisputable. Breast is natural, normal, and formula is an inferior product which is a perfectly valid choice but the fact that it comes with an added risk to babies and mothers must be considered in the interests of informed choice.

[butterfly_warrior]

As a follow up to the statement made my Mad Scientist...

If I were to have persisted in trying to breastfeed my son, there is no doubt that the health outcome would have been entirely worse. No arguments.

If you have a severe, chronic health condition that is virtually disabling even with medications, then ceasing those medications will quite likely result in a mother who can do nothing more than breastfeed her child.

It's all well and good to say that there are medication options that are safe - but what if those medications aren't good enough?

Without experiencing that sort of chronic, disabling medical condition, you simply can not state that breast is best in that case. I know it's only a small minority of women that are effected like me.

BW