Would you donate or accept EBM from another?

[belfie]

I have a really vested reason for asking this question. I have just recently been put in contact with a lady who is struggling to feed her bubba (1 week younger than mine). She's battled nipple cracks, thrush & low supply, and has just started on meds to try help boost her supply.

I am in the very fortunate position of having had to express early on but not actually using any of it - I have no wish to give my DD at bottle at all if I can avoid it. So, I have about 5.5litres in the freezer. And we have hit up on the happy arrangement where this lady is using some of my EBM to top-up her bubba as she was keen to avoid FF if she could. Interestingly both couples have remarkably similar digestive issues (both mums have a malabsorption issue and both fathers don't cope well with dairy - I suspect this motivates her desire for EBM as well).

And I guess it got me thinking. My DS was topped up with formula (before I'd really had time to think about it). My DD went sooooooo close to being topped up, but we managed to avoid it by the hair on our chinny chin chin! For me to provide some milk to another bubba is just one of the most amazing wonderful things I could ever do as far as I'm concerned. And when I got a text from her yesterday thanking me so much, as her hungry baby is now much happier & more settled thanks to the extra EBM.
FYI, our process was to meet, discuss milk bank criteria, discuss my health & diet and basically see if we both felt comfortable (which we did). I understand that she is pasteurising it to make sure any infection is removed but I don't know the exact details. But I guess it got me thinking... AND... in contradictory fashion, I wasn't sure if I would have accept it had I needed it!

• Would you donate EBM to a friend or someone you'd been put in touch with?
• Would you accept EBM from a friend or someone you'd been put in touch with? Or would you rather provide FF than use someone else's EBM?
• How much would it matter to you that you'd known the person previously?

I don't think there's a right or wrong here, but when i think about the wet nurses in days of old, it makes me wonder how comfortable we are with similar concepts these days? I also wondered whether I could be at risk of being sued should anything happen, but then I felt that fear of consequences was not a reason I was proud of to stop me doing this, so I did it anyway

Cheers,
Belfie

[loulabelle]

Wow! Good on you! You have given that mother and baby an amazing gift.
As for your questions, I would donate and I would use donated. Depending on the way it's done would affect who I took it off. If it was someone I knew was healthy etc I'd have no problem, if it had been pasteurized and tested for things like drugs etc I would be fine with it being a stranger, I think I'd rather I had met the person first though. Obviously I wouldn't take it randomly of a stranger on the street!

Seriously, good on you! You should be very proud.

[nickle730]

Congratulations on doing such a wonderful, generous thing. You and the other mother (and her bub!) are obviously happy with the arrangement and that is what matters most.

In answer to your questions, I would accept EBM for my baby only from a registered milk bank or from someone I knew exceptionally well. I don't think it is possible to pasteurize milk at home (someone correct me if I'm wrong!) and although the risk of disease transmission from EBM is minute, I would still be uncomfortable.

[Nai]

Yes I would donate and I would accept it if I was in that position. Belfie, I would just have to look at your little girl and I would be saying "I want what she's having!" She is clearly thriving, happy and healthy on your BM.

[Jennifer13]

I would donate and accept. I'd accept it without screening if it was someone I knew. Much better than the alternative, IMO.

[briggsy's girl]

i'd donate if i could - especially for someone i know. i'd do it for a "contact" if we were put in contact, but for someone i knew that was struggling, i'd do it in a heartbeat

accepting - yup - esp at the very start when DD was losing too much weight waiting for my milk to come in and i was given the alternative of either making sure she gained weight overnight or they were going to give her formula with or without my consent. i knew i didn't want her to have formula if it could be avoided, so someone elses EBM would have been an acceptable alternative had we not managed to get her to put on some weight overnight (thanks to my DH being there to encourage me to feed and sleep overnight, while he settled the poppet for me)

if it was when she was a bit older and it was a supply issue, i don't know if i'd accept EBM.. knowing that attachment and stimulation fuel supply, i would try to avoid using another source so as to build up my own supply adequately, but in the case of being unable to attach/express due to nipple damage, then yes, i'd use EBM from someone else in preference to formula.

i would happily donate now if i was a more efficient expresser (and if DD weren't deemed "too old" for most to accept)

[Ella]

Wow what a lovely gift!!

Up here we have the 'Mothers Milk Bank' running out of Gold Coast Hospital. I've just applied to be a donor for that because like you I had plenty of milk with DS and I would like to put it to good use with this bubba. So basically the idea is that I express whatever I can after feeding DS and then freeze it. Once every 2-3 weeks someone drops by and picks it up and it gets taken and pasturised before being stored. Its used by people who like your friend can't produce enough or it is often used by women in hospital with premature babies or problems with lactation during the newborn period.

I think its an amazing thing to do. There is no denying the health benefits to bubba from breastmilk so to give someone else's child that gift is truly special.

Yay for you!!

[Daydream Believer]

Wow! Good on you! You have given that mother and baby an amazing gift.
As for your questions, I would donate and I would use donated. Depending on the way it's done would affect who I took it off. If it was someone I knew was healthy etc I'd have no problem, if it had been pasteurized and tested for things like drugs etc I would be fine with it being a stranger, I think I'd rather I had met the person first though. Obviously I wouldn't take it randomly of a stranger on the street!

Seriously, good on you! You should be very proud.

:yeahthat:

[Fleur]

Aww Belfie, that's wonderful

I donated to the milk bank here, and I have just recently given away the last of my stash to a mum I came into contact with through Eats on Feet FB group. I have no problems at all donating milk. As for using donated milk... I'd be happy to take milk from someone I know, or from a milk bank. From someone I didn't know.. I guess I would want to meet them first, and I'd have to gauge whether I thought they were healthy & didn't drink, smoke etc. I don't even know how you go about pasteurising at home? But overall I think it's a wonderful thing to give & receive, and I hope that it might become more commonplace

[Madham]

How lovely

Yes i would also donate and except EBM also.
I think it is fantastic that we are able to help someone else in this respect and everyone including you should be very proud.

[TeniBear]

I would donate, very happily. I wish I'd been able to donate my milk after Ianto, but I didn't know how to go about putting it out there
I would take donated milk as well, if my baby needed it. I think I would prefer to take it from someone I know, but more for the convenience of being comfortable calling them to ask when I need it. If I was to take it from a relative stranger, I'd want it screened properly

[Olive]

YES!! i dontated earlier this year to a gorgeous friend here on BB! was one of the best gifts ive been able to provide someone, only wish i could have dontated more and for longer, but DD was already 12 months so my supply was well and truely established xxxx

[Michelle71]

Yes, I would donate and yes, I would receive.

In fact I took EBM from my SIL for DS2 while he was in NICU to decrease the pressure of meeting his feeding requirements while waiting for my milk to come in. I did not want him to receive FF and SIL had her baby less than a week before I did. I didn't tell them - just topped up my own EBM with her donation that was in the fridge in my room

[onthefly]

Yes and I think it's a lovely thing to do to help another mother and baby

[luna moth]

Would give, would take.

I'd like to know a fair bit about the person I was taking it from, if I was taking. If they were a blood donor, that would help me out a lot, just because the screening for that is pretty intense.