Best way to help a friend with BFing troubles?

[JLeigh29]

So, there's a mum I've become acquainted with at kindy who's been having trouble with her 5 week old LO. Hysterical, in pain, crying and pulling off the breast all night. The paed has diagnosed reflux and put her on meds, but also suggested she wasn't making enough milk...
....so she's started topping up with formula.

She's expressed a couple of times (straight after a feed) but has only got a couple of mLs...
....so now she thinks she's not making enough milk.

And Bub pulls off in the afternoons after about 15 mins each side, grizzling and looking hungry...
....so mum thinks she's not getting enough and tops up with more formula.

She hasn't seen anyone else for a second opinion and, as far as I'm aware, weight gain has been fine.

All this means she's now thinking her BFing journey is nearly at an end...she sounded quite blasé in what she was saying, 'Oh well, some women weren't meant to BF' etc but when I looked at her she had tears in her eyes. So I get the idea she doesn't want to give up, but how do I help? Am I overstepping if I give her the number of a great LC? Should I make her some lactation cookies? Should I tell her about supply and demand, about how pumping isn't a reliable indicator of supply, how 5-6 wet nappies a day are an indicator of adequate intake, about cluster feeding, how a paed isn't qualified in BFing? Tell her to call the ABA for advice? Or should I just step back and let her be? WWYD?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

For me, I am pleased I was introduced to 2 great LCs when I was told I was starving Liebs, would never bf and he needed formula. It was not done judgementally and that's the important bit.

[little_O]

I would. I would probably say "I've had some breastfeeding issues too would you the number of my LC? Have you tried this that etc?"


I am of the opinion any support of bf is good. She mightn't get it anywhere else and we are uneducated now about bfing. Some people honestly just don't know their options.

[Frangipani Lou]

Go for it.

I wonder what her bf journey was like with her first child.

[OceanPrincess]

Definitely! Maybe start with something supportive like "you're having a bit of a tough time! Reflux can be terrible" and then ask of she's spoken to anyone else about her concerns.

[onthefly]

You could empathise with her and pass on the name of an LC who you found really helpful. It's up to her if she wants to pursue it or not - you can let her know in an entirely nonjudgmental and supportive way that she has the option of getting another opinion and more support.
If you attend an ABA group, you could also suggest she comes along to chat with a counsellor.

[Ladylove]

Definitely communicate common ground re any of your own troubles, I'd express it the way LittleO suggested.

[JLeigh29]

Awesome ladies, thanks! I know I'd appreciate the support if it was me in her place. She did say her other child was FF too, so that may be adding to how she feels.