thread: Boob jelousy

  1. #1
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    Boob jelousy

    DS has started showing jelousy & asking for boob every time I feed DD.

    He's got me feeling so guilty. I forced weaning on him. He obviously wasn't ready yet.

    I weaned him back in February, when I was 9 weeks pg. I thought it was the best thing to do at the time. I thought with 7 months between weaning & DD's birth it would be plenty of time for him to adjust to life without the boobs.

    Well, silly me. He still went to sleep with a hand down my shirt right up til I went to hospital. While he was ok not to drink, he still needed them for comfort.

    Now when I'm feeding he's started asking me if he can have one! I did give him a drop in a cup the other day & I'm thinking about letting him have some that way more often, but I never get the time to actually think about it.

    I guess it doesn't help that his best mate is BFed as well. Being the same age as DS, that does seem unfair. While DS does understand that we have a baby, they don't, he must be feeling pretty left out

    I do things with DS to make sure he's not left out when I can. He sleeps in our bed if he wants, & gets alot of one on one with both of us, but is still being difficult.

    Aah, maybe I'm just seeing another way to add to my mummy guilt & its not really as bad as I think it is. Its only been 11 days. He needs time to adjust.

    Any ideas to help him adjust would be great! We had loads of talks & he has known from the start that all this was happening. Baby will come home & baby will drink mum's boo boo's. He knew all that & was well prepared. But I guess reality is way different to little talks...

  2. #2
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    No advice here as I've only got one, but I know a friend went through the same situation but her eldest was 2 from memory. She offered the boob at night after bub went down and it was their special time together

  3. #3
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    DS is 2 as well. He's a real mummies boy, so makes it harder for him I think.

  4. #4
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    Mar 2007
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    Aww...how tough for you Do you mind feeding him again? Or did you really want to continue not to? It's ok to change your mind and go back to feeding if that's what you want! And it's also ok to say no, I'm sure he will adjust, it's probably just a little hard right now when you've probably got your boobs out all the time feeding a newborn! lol. You could maybe say he is allowed 1 feed a day if he would like that way he's still able to BF but it's not too demanding on you?? I'm not sure just thinking of what I might do in that situation.

  5. #5
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    I think it comes from he is use to having your bbs at his disposal (for lack of better wording sorry) and to see bub on them means they're not his anymore... He obviously loved that bond he had with you, is there something else you could do together that would be as special ITMS

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
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    Have you let him try? He might give it a quick go and be satisfied with that. They often sort of forget how to do it when it's been a while, so you might find that he loses interest again as soon as you allow him.

  7. #7
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    I've thought about it. Letting him have a go, but TBH it kinda feels wierd now. Back when I first weaned him I let him have a little go after my milk had dried up so he could see there was nothing left & I think that made it harder for him, even though it was about 2 months later.

    It scares me too. I'm worried he's forgotten how & I have avoided damage BFing DD so far, I don't want him to accidentally do it wrong & hurt me... That would set me way back with how well I'm doing with her.

    I am pretty confident that he's just gotta adjust to a new situation & that sharing me is really hard for him. I'm just trying to find ways to ease my guilt over the whole thing I think.

  8. #8
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    I'm dreading this as well. Even though Jack self weaned 9 months ago, he still thinks my boobs belong to him, lol, and uses them as his pillows for comfort, or hand down my shirt when he's upset! When I'm getting dressed or in the shower he will point at my breasts and say "bubba's drink", I then agree with him and say "yes, bubba's drink"....and then he says "no, Jack's drink" LOL. I could be in for a bit of trouble when bubs comes along too.

  9. #9
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    Thats what Jesse was like Marlene. He would tell everyone that they were babies boo boo's, but if he was upset, no way! They were his boo boo's! 'Not a babies!!'

  10. #10
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    Jul 2007
    melb
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    I would offer him some, If he has forgotten how to suck he will loose interest very fast and if he bites you yelp and let him know ouch hurt mummy.

    I am tandem feeding and we often have tanties if DS1 wants while DS2 feeding, its to hard for me to feed both at same time now as DS1 moves too much and DS2 pulls DS1 hair etc.

    Good luck, DS1 always has hand down my top and playing with them if not feeding.

  11. #11
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
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    Well, DS had a go the other night and basically just gave me a quick 'kiss' and that was that. And he's still talking about having milk after the baby comes.

  12. #12
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    Feb 2006
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    Hun, I haven't read all of the replies, only the OP. Sorry if I repeat what's been said.

    I had this with DD, and she was only partially bf for 7mths. DS was born when she was 16mths, so she had aaages to get over it but whenever she saw him feeding she wanted in too. She had no idea how to latch or suck, but I let her have a snuggle and try. She never hurt me or bit me and would lick the milk that came out. I think she just wanted the snuggles she saw DS getting too. It went on for about 7ish months before she got over it.
    I totally expect that DS will be wanting boo too when this bub comes along and considering he doesn't hurt me, I will let him suckle too. Or try to anyway. He self weaned about 4mnths ago, probably due to me being pg and he's tried to latch on again since he weaned, but I won't let him cause my nipples are really sore and sensitive since he's weaned. Plus I just have no milk yet. He puts his hand in my shirt and blows raspberries in my clevage (lol, such a boob man!) and will often fall asleep on them too.
    If you don't mind, I would just let him have a turn too....

  13. #13
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    Well if he does it again I might think about it. Or I'll offer him some in a cup or something. Will see what happens