Just wanted some information really... my DS is a boobie addict. He turned 2 a week ago and is absolutely nowhere near weaning. I am wanting to let him self wean but am starting to feel selfconscious. I hate that I do because I am so pro breastfeeding and self weaning and truly believe that the natural age of weaning is 3 or 4 or thereabouts. However I seem to be the only one in my social group who is still demand feeding. It was easy to be the 'hippy' breastfeeder when they were all under one and I still found it easy before this 2nd birthday. I think it is because I am the only one breastfeeding a 2 year old! Even the peer supporters at our local breastfeeding group all gave up before they were one! The LC (who is wonderful and supportive) has only direct experience of feeding her three sons up to one and although she is 'on paper' supportive of feeding over 2s, I feel like as she hasn't done it herself that she doesn't really know how to support me.
Anyway I think my problem is that I demand feed. I have never given DS cows milk and don't intend to so he does 'demand' feed. So in all I want to continue in this way but want to know if that is normal? Does anyone else demand feed their 2 year old (or 3 year old etc) DS does have days where if he is busy he rarely asks for boob but other days he asks all the time. Usually it isn't a problem but there are some social situations where I am less comfortable. Does anyone feel the same?
at two, i found DD to be old enough to put off a feed until we were in a more appropriate space. it wasn't to do with embarrassment or anything - it was about comfort - being in shops and demand feeding for the 3 seconds she would attach just became frustrating due to lack of comfy seating. if she really needed it (due a nap, unwell, hurt) then yep, i'd do it - but i tended to say "how about you have some water now, and when we get home we can snuggle and have boobie then" - and she was able to be distracted and placated with the water. i found it was mostly an "i'm bored with this situation" kinda request, not an "i need it" request, so i could do it this way
at 2 and 7months, we're going strong, and haven't had to feed in public for several months simply because she is old enough to understand that water cups for out and about, boobie snuggled with mummy at home kwim?
I have to agree with BG. I was mostly demand feeding but at 2 he was old enough to be put off if it wasn't convienient cause he would literally feed for 10 secs. I found that a cuddle worked at those times and if he needed more then that then he was going to feed for longer and so that is what we would do.
When DS turned 2 there was pressure to wean but it didn't last long.
I did wean him at 2.75 but we were only down to 1 nightly feed, I was hoping it would help him to sleep through and meant OH could help with settling DS overnight. I do regret weaning him and not letting him do it himself as he still wakes and I still do the settling
I still demand feed my almost 3yr old which was quite frequently for the last little bit as I'm also feeding a one week old so it was all exciting again, she seems over that now and is back to just wanting a feed before bed and when she gets up in the morning. Around that age I did start asking her to wait if we were in a less than ideal setting although I was/am less self concious around strangers and more people I knew as although they never said anything, I could tell most of them didn't/don't really understand extended breastfeeding so weren't entirely comfortable. Like BG, I figured if she was happy to wait than it was probably more a boredom thing than an actual need.
i fed DD 1 till 2 years 10 months. i thought she would self ween because i was pregnant but it didnt seemt o put her off, then i thought she would stop once i had the baby, nope!! we night weened while i was pregnant, that was probably the hardest bit, getting her used to going back to sleep when she woke without feeding to sleep. then we cut back to just the morning feed and a feed before the afternoon sleep and at bed time. it worked well for us and at that age she would take a drink and a snack instead of a feed if we were out or it wasnt nap time. if your happy to keep feeding then do it, as much as i think BFing shouldnt be forced indoors once you get to a certain age, if you feel uncomfortable about it then maybe try to save it for when you are somewhere you feel comfortable to relax and enjoy it. it doesnt last forever, you wont be breastfeeding a 15 year old as some people would have you think. dd still recalls with great fondness her breastfeeding days!
Thanks ladies! Very helpful replies. I guess I do tend to distract when I know he doesn't 'need it' and if he is hurt or tired I will find somewhere to sit and make it a proper feed. So I think I will keep on doing it that way. I guess I want to make sure I am following his lead and not denying him the comfort. There is a big difference between denying him feeds and just delaying or distracting when inconvenient and I am comfortable with doing it that way. Just wanted to know I was veering away from the gentle approach I have tried to maintain.
I am still feeding a 2 yr old and a 3 and 1/2 year old on demand, DS1 has not had a feed when out for well
Over a year, DS2 only occasionally around friends. Both could generally easily be distracted by something else until home.
I am only 1 in mothers group still feeding older toddlers most have stopped at 1.
Isaac is 2.5 and still demand fed. If we spend the day at home he'll easily have 3 or 4 feeds: 1 in the morning before getting up, 1 after morning tea, 1 after arvo tea, one at bed time. If we're out all day it'll usually be 3: 1 in the morning before getting out of bed, 1 in the sling while out, 1 at bedtime.
I am feeding an almost 3 yr old and almost 1 yr old. DD1 was just 2 when DD2 was born so I did stop demand feeding her then. I didn't really want to be feeding non-stop all day, lol. But she naturally went down to only 1 feed a day during pregnancy anyway because there wasn't much milk. After DD2 came along, she did want more but I kept it at 1 feed before bed time. I haven't fed her in public probably for about 18 months now anyway, she was too busy to want to feed when we were out from then so no one apart from close family probably even knows she is still BFing.
still a boobie moster here and DS2 will be 3 in a couple of weeks
i just distract when we are out and it is not convient - such as pushing the supermarket trolley (well they are in his face then lol)
i use to be self conscious feeding a toddler but now i dont give a rats- their problem not mine and if i get comments I tell them to speak to my DS2 about it and you tell him a good reason that he will understand why he cant have boobies!!! usually shuts them up cause they cant come up with one
your child, your body and everyone else can mind their own damn business!!
You've done the most amazing job! Really. And all it is is normal. It is really normal for babies to feed for 2 years and beyond. I fed my first child til 4.5 years (then my nerves gave out) But I fed my daughters for way longer. (and loved it) If I'd known then what I know now I would have known he WOULD move away from my breast in his own time - but it's hard! Children are designed to feed for at least 2 years. So, be proud of yourselves!
I'm still demand feeding here too DS3 turned 2 last month. Sometimes it is hard going he seems to be feeding even more than the usual 4-6 through the day and maybe 1 through the night. I'm thinking it's a stage at the moment though. I have always planned to let him wean on his own, he's showing absolutely no signs of doing that any time soon, actually he's ramped it up lol
I just remind myself n the days where I feel all milked out that in no time he'll be all grown up, and it does nothing but benefit him now, and enjoy it while it lasts.
He can usually be distracted if it's really not convenient.
Breastfeeding a 2 year old
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