I'm about to have my baby in a couple of weeks but have been told by an expert that my nipples may not allow me to breastfeed because they were too flat/inverted on occasion?? I used nipple shields with my first born and found them annoying and they frustrated my bub to no end. Also, she got used to them and it was difficult to revert back to not using them.
I'd love any advice on the subject. Is it merely perseverance?
Last edited by DreamBabies; May 19th, 2013 at 01:32 PM.
Hello! I'm not experienced with shields or inverted nipples but I know a lot of mothers and babies have struggled with BF early on for all sorts of reasons, myself included, and it can be SO hard but it is not insurmountable.
i also know a few people who have had to use shields- there are lots of different sorts out there so if you have to use them again, maybe try a few, get some personal recs. and if you and baby do have to use shields for a long while who cares? You're breastfeeding and that's the most important thing.
Plus you may not even need them- good to be prepared but you never know
Last edited by Ladylove; April 6th, 2013 at 12:47 AM.
Not every woman can breastfeed - but nearly all can. For most women these days it is like setting off from Melbourne to Sydney without having once looked at the map, and without being able to read the signposts. Most people have an “I will if I can” philosophy and “it’s supposed to be natural isn’t it” They don’t use the information around them (ABA, Breastfeeding Education classes, Lactation consultants) And unfortunately the one person you asked sounds to have given you the wrong directions! (sigh) Then people arrive in Adelaide and not Sydney and wonder where they took the wrong turn. You haven’t got long to go, but educate yourself as much as possible. Have your baby skin to skin with you, and help her to feed early. Get a good LC and join your local ABA group. It all makes such a difference
I think almost all mothers can feed, so long as they get good information and support. Perhaps you could try getting in touch with another LC for a second opinion, that might be reassuring for you. Joining the ABA and connecting with other breastfeeding mums around you, as well as accessing counsellors in your area, might also be really helpful.
I had very flat nipples with one slightly inverted. Breastfeeding dd took some getting used to because of the way she had to stretch my nipple out. After the first five weeks or so I was breastfeeding in all different situations and positions. It takes perseverance and time. I haven't stopped breastfeeding since then, although dd weaned at 2.5. At 2 ds is feeding lots still and was easy to feed from day one. Good luck.
I got such a hard time from my DH's family when trying to feed BD. They all but accused me of starving her. My DH restricted their contact with me and the baby because of it.
I really want to breastfeed my new baby. I'm feeling determined. DH supports me in this.
Will my baby get enough milk if it takes weeks for me to get it right? Will I be depriving them? I don't want to start top-ups or pumping prematurely. How will I know when to give up?
You're going to look at things like how many wet nappies they get in a 24 hour period (if you use disposables, this is about 5 wet nappies, cloth nappies about 6-8), things like weight gain (steady, gradual, consistent), things like skin tone & alertness, and a baby that at least for some parts of the day is contented. As you're about to find out, even when they have the same parents, no two babies are the same, so until your new bubs is in your arms it's all a bit speculative, but there are good general guidelines to telling whether or no he/she is getting enough. You're also going to do skin-to-skin like nothing else, and to do baby-led-attachment, because this is brilliant for stimulating supply, and getting bubs to get attachment sorted very early on. Worthwhile googling baby-led-attachment videos, because it's ah-maz-ing stuff. If you join ABA, then you get sent a really good book on Bfing, it's a brilliant resource, loaded with information, and then anytime you've got a BF question or concern, you can call them - even at 3am in the morning (even if you don't join, you can call them). The ABA website is loaded with info too. You're also going to put aside the fears about inverted nipples, because really, it's just one person's opinion. Deal with your actual reality, not someone's speculation, if that makes sense. If you have to use nipple shields to get started, then that's okay too, but just because you used them last time, doesn't mean you'll need them this time around (again BLA can really really help with this). If you do need to use them make sure they're the correct size for your nipples, this can make things much easier.
Having said all that, it's really normal to be anxious & worried about what's to come. It's a huge change, and worries about breastfeeding just add to it all. But your DH sounds like a keeper, and maybe he could do some reading up as well, which can also be enormously helpful. Maybe get him to watch some of the Baby-led-attachment videos Your health nurse may have some recommendations for lactation consultants in your area, so that if you need some direct hands-on help (maybe not literally, but you know what I mean hopefully) you can get that help quickly, before your in-laws really get into your head.
Good luck
PS Did I mention skin-to-skin and BLA? They're really awesome
Thank you so much, BG. Wish you were going to be at my side with that kind of support. Lol! I've since googled BLA and feel a bit more in the know about it. I'm on maternity leave now so I'll take some time to watch some videos too.
I didn't like using the nipple shields at all with BD. I did it because I thought I had to but now I know I should have tried harder or sought further advice. I think I was a deer in the headlights with my first baby. I want to be informed and supported. I am feeling far more determined this time around.
I just hope I can. DH has promised to kick visitors out again if I feel stressed or uncomfortable. He still feels bad that he wasn't reading my signs as well as he should of (he's a gem).
I like the sound of your DH!! You're determined and that is a lot of the battle. I swear that's what got me to stick with it after a very rough start with DS3, determination and much more education than I had with DS1&2. I'm sure you can do it too
Just remember though (going on from what BG said) Babies only get a very small amount of colostrum in the first days - and that is normal. In the first 5 days you would only expect one wet nappy per day of life - eg one wet nappy on the first day, 2 on the second day etc. You would expect a baby to lose 10% of their birthweight and regain in by 2-3 weeks. That would be completely normal. You baby only know’s *your nipples* - it doesn’t know what everyone else’s nipples are like. Those first early feeds will imprint how to feed from “your” nipples
Call your local aBA group and see if you can get into a Breastfeeding class before the baby is born
I just want to second what Barb says about the wet nappies over the first few days. My DD # 2 didn't harldy have any wetness in her nappies (hard to tell too b/c of the hospital using disposables, so I put cotton balls in her nappies) but she still was doing well, so don't go off that solely.
My DD lost close to nearly over 10% of her birth weight & I started to feel some pressure from the midwives about top ups etc...but I put my foot down & engaged the hospitals lactation consultant and put in place a 'plan' with her. (three hourly feeds amongst other things) If I ever felt a little under pressure about comp feeding etc... I'd tell them that I was following the plan set out by the LC & they left me alone. On discharge from the hospital DD # 2 hadn't gained much weight back (20 gms from memory) but I told them I was following up with the LC (which I was) and they didn't say anything more.
If you can, engage a LC upfront for reassurance and support.
I had inverted nipples most the time before DS1 and he breastfed like a bloody champ. I rarely got inverted nipples once he was done with me but I still have flat nipples. DS2 had attachment issuesbut I think that was also due to PND so I didn't want to feed him. I expressed heaps and topped him up with that and got the swing of things as time went on and bf till 18mo. I'm hoping to make it till 2 this time. dDS1 only bf till 10.5mo but that was on his own accord. Definitely possible to feed with different nipples, we are all different
I'm like Rhichichi- my DD lost about 11% of her birth weight (not sure if you remember with your first one but the hospital usually does the official weigh in on damn day three when most mothers get the baby blues- stupid timing) and I was told by one midwife to express get hurry up my milk (it hadn't come in yet) but then in the same sentence she said I needed to top up with formula. DDwas very unsettled in the hospy too, she was one of only two or three babies on my floor that cried on and off all night! So I felt like I was being pressured and judged, but we stick to our guns and as others here have recommended we put DD on the boob all the time. I gave up on the idea of timing feeds or trying to feed three hourly or whatever and just fed whenever she cried basically. I had nipple damage and pain on one side and eventually decided to rest that side for four or so days by feeding off one side then pumping off the other. This was the perfect solution for me as it allowed time and space to heal the nipple but pumping isn't for everyone.
I clearly remember counting and examining wet nappies! It did my head in. I do remember someone telling me, when I was madly trying to see how much urine was in a dirty nappy, that poo counts as a wet nappy- something that just stuck in my mind!
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
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Breastfeeding takes time to establish.
It's a skill, so takes time to learn/adjust.
Plus you have the memory of how it was to feed your first.
Before new bub arrives, get your "cheer squad" in place.Get your dh to work out the type of contact, you will have with visitors and esp the non-supportive inlaws. You have the rigth to say "no visitors for first month, we're bonding" or whatever. And they might be snippy, but in the longterm, if this helps you establish bf-ing with your bub, that's what reallly counts. Let dh be the buffer. IT's hard to establish bf-ing with visitors coming and going. You need SUPPORTIVE people around you, the rest can go jump.
* Join the ABA, you;ll get their bi-monthly publication "Essence" in your mail box, jampacked with supportive info.
* Buy their calendar, so you see postive bf-ing images around you each day.
* If you are able, go along to a local group, ask if there are any other mums there that have gone thru the nipple issue you describe. I learnt so much, listening to the ABA meetings going on, while i was pregnant.
* my dh and i went along to a COuples Info session, put on by ABA, for couples, late in their pregnancy. The info covered that afternoon, helped my dh be VERY supportive, when i went thru bf-ing ups and downs. His support was so important to the bf-ing continuing, when things were not easy.
*Look up the ABA online (google it) and bookmark the homepage.
* Have the ABA helpline phone number magnet on your fridge
*Find out the contact details for Lactation consultants in your local area, have those in your mobile phone, somewhere easy to find.
* These things will enable you to get help in a timely fashion. When things go pearshaped for bf-ing, it means pain, and you need TIMELY help, not next week, not next fortnight, but RIGHT NOW. Hard to think when you're in pain, sleep deprived etc, so have those numbers EASILY available to you, so you don' thave to go searching.
If you don't end up needing any of this - great - but if you do - you have done the research work BEFORE you need it.
Barb is giving you great advice, like you, i wish i had lived near Barb when i needed the bf-ing help! Our first four months was full of challenges.
bf-ing "experts". I discovered, that GP's, many hospital staff in the labour ward, were woefully untrained in breastfeeding knowledge. A big shock to me. Even Child Youth Health staff gave me out of date, incorrect info. And they were all the first people i reached out to for help. I cannot stress enough, ABA counsellors, lactation consultants.
Misinformation, by people you EXPECT to know about bf-ing, i think, is the biggest cause of women stopping breastfeeding, it's such a shame.
In the labour ward, (i was there for six days), every shift, a NEW midwife would give me DIFFERENT bf-ing advice, so confusing. I only thru it, as i had had my own midwife throughout my pregnancy (and for first six weeks of my baby's life), so as she visited me each day in the hospy, i had the CONSISTENCY of what she told me, to rely on. THis was a public hospital midwife, who was also an independent midwife. Without this consistency, i don't know that i would have coped with bf-ing.
And whatever goes down, this is not a competion btw. If you feed your bub for three hours, three weeks, three months, three years, it's all the same, you HAVE breastfed your child.
Set yourself up to succeed, ask for help WHEN you need it, don't "hold on" and hope it will get better. All you can do is give it your best shot. I don't believe bf-ing is possible for 100% of women or babies, but it is possible for many - IF they get TIMELY and ACCURATE bf-ing info.
all the best hon, i know you want this for your bub, i felt similar (but without the nipple thing, i had different challenges).
we live in a anti-bfing society, there are so many haters, if we want to bf our children, we have to actively seek out the pro-bfing people and the people with bf-ing knowledge. Because anti-bf-ing people (the majority of society) will blame every single normal baby thing on bf-ing. X doesn't sleep thru the night? you HAVE to put them on FF. etc etc.
SO choose your battles. Be around, or surround yourself with the positive.
the only way i could find that, was online, the calendar on the wall, the supportive dh, was not well enough to drive/get to the aba meetings. i found my "cheer squad" where i could. And it worked.
You won't talk around the inlaws, don't waste your energy. People who love you and love the baby will SUPPORT you with your bf-ing journey, others are not worth your time. Reconnect with the inlaws AFTER bf-ing is established and working well. Your baby is more important than the inlaws bringing you down. DOn't even get into conversastions with them about feeding, change the subject, anything to avoid it.
Practical things for actually bf-ing:
- ideally, get yourself a recliner so you will be comfy and not experiencingn back ache while you feed (i so wish i had done this). Bf-ing happens easier, if you are comfy, back supported.
- have a bf-ing basket right next to you, when you feed, so you will have, at arm's reach, whatever you need e.g lipbalm, breastpads, spare t for you, mop up nappy, babywipes, bottle of water for you, basic fruit you can eat while feeding, crackers etc, cordless phone, toy/book to entertain your toddler, (insert the things you know you get up for) - so you don't have to get up un-necessarily, when you are settled and concentrating on bf-ing.
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Can any mother breastfeed?
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