thread: at the end of my tether

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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Add tanyaya on Facebook

    Jan 2011
    Stockholm
    282

    at the end of my tether

    hello

    i have a gorgeous newborn, who is 4 days old.... and I find that sometimes he won't get off the boob.

    It's usually around the same time - 7.30pm but tonight i fed from 4.30 pretty much straight through for 3.5 hours.... according to an ABA telephone consultant, i shouldn't be feeding for more than an hour at a time but he's screaming if I take him off.

    also, he's a bit gassy, and i'm wondering if the constant BFing is making this worse. DH is walking him around atm, with varying degrees of success, and I just need a break.

    My milk seems to have come in, but it definately doesn't spurt all over the place.... i am wondering if i have enough supply. as they say feeding helps encourage supply .... but when does it become too much?



    thanks,
    tanya

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Congratulations on your little one!
    The early days are so tough. You know what, I'm surprised the ABA counsellor said that. It's totally NORMAL for little babies to feed a lot in the evenings - it's all part of the so-called 'arsenic' hour. 2-3 hours of solid feeding in the late afternoon/early evening is very common, especially when they're very young.
    The best way to tell whether you have enough milk is by the number of wet & dirty nappies - how many are you getting. Right now it's still early days, your milk may not be completely in (it can take a bit of time, and it's not always all at once). The constant feeding is a great way to make sure your milk does come in just like it should.
    The gassiness is normal too - it takes a while for their systems to get used to drinking milk (remember, he's only been on the oustide for a few days so everything is totally new to him). And it's quite common for them to be particularly unsettled just as the milk is coming in.

    The good news is that it won't always be like this. As your baby gets bigger, he'll get faster at feeding. My DS fed for 1-1.5 hours at a time at this age, by 4 months he rarely spent more than 5 minutes at the breast (and that was for 2 sides). Also, with the arsenic hour (or hours, it's usually 3-4 hours I think) you might find that he's happy to be held and cuddled, as well as fed. Do you have a sling or some other sort of baby carrier? THey're very handy. Another thing to bear in mind is that this sort of cluster feeding can also lead to a nice, longer sleep at teh start of the night - it's a great payoff for you once it happens.

    I hope you're able to get plenty of rest and getting lots of help at home

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2006
    Melbourne
    3,737

    Hang in there, the cluster feeding is normal, it helps them settle better later on the night and helps your milk supply.

  4. #4

    May 2008
    Melbourne, Vic
    8,631

    Hey Tanya

    Congrats on your little bundle!! I had a similar thing to you it sounds like - I didn't get the massive engorgement to tell me my milk had come in.

    Let me ask - does DS have plenty of wet and pooey nappies? How is his weight gain? That's a good indicator of your supply.

    It can take six weeks or so for your supply to stabilize I'm afraid so you may well have a few of these periods where DS is suckling like crazy - he's trying to build your supply!

    Also - he's still so little, he gets to the end of the day and is probably feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all and where does he go for comfort? The breast. It is natural for him to want to be close to you, feeding. It's great that your DH is helping out to give you a break! But if nothing else works but your magic boobies, then you might just have to relax into it - set yourself up on the couch in front of the TV, get nice and comfy and just let him feed. DH can help by looking after you at that point - getting you drinks, food, whatever you need.

    I don't know why the ABA person told you to take her off but if it goes against your instincts, don't do it. What does your mummy voice tell you to do?

    Big hugs hun. It is such a steep learning curve for you both. You will get the hang of it!

    ETA - snap MadB!!

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,109

    Congratulations on your newest addition You have already received such wonderful advice so I don't have alot to add other than hang in there. The early days are the hardest and I would be letting your LO feed as often as possible. Xx

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Add tanyaya on Facebook

    Jan 2011
    Stockholm
    282

    thanks everyone - i feel so much more confident with your support.

    he has been having semi-regular pee/poopey nappies - today he's had four i think. i just fed him again for 45 mins, he fell asleep and then woke again after 10 mins screaming.

    so i'd better get back to him.... i don't mind feeding constantly if it's the right thing to do. after 3-4 hours i feel drained but now that DH has had a few cuddles and helped him get rid of some gas, i feel like i've had a bit f a break

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2010
    QLD
    394

    same advice as the others, my DD is now 9 weeks but did exactly what your DS is doing. I found laying down and feeding helpful, let me get some rest while she feed none stop. make sure that you are burping him really well, try sitting him up on your knee and support his chest and chin with your hand and getting burps up that way. hun, take each day as it comes. He will be a week old before you know it and all his routines will change on you again.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    3,300

    I remember having similar with DD during the first couple of weeks (at 4 days my milk had not come in), one night I remember her just being on all night (she eventually gave up and went to sleep just as I decided thats it if I am going to be awake might as well skype my parents in the UK - so was speaking to them talking about how she just wanted to feed and not sleep and she fell off easily - typical they always turn on the good behavior for the grand parents :-)) - that night I just decided to stop paying attention to when and how frequent and just do what my mum said "if she screams just try feeding her" I think after that I just relaxed a bit more and it really helped (I was in hospital mode still where they want to know how long and how frequent so was keeping a spreadsheet but I think that was making me over think it and the stress wasn't helping).

    I am also surprised at what ABA said because I know in that first week a feed would regularly take me an hour or over by time had done both sides (and that was the shortest feed) - I remember a midwife in hospital saying "you need to speed that up or you will be feeding all day" - not helpful at all!

    I second the lying down feeding, I used to go to bed and feed lying down from about 7:00 and often would fall asleep while feeding then would transfer DD to her cot around 10:00 ish and get an hours break for a cuppa or something before going to bed properly ready for the night feeding.

    Hang in there - and if you need anything you know my number.

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Add tanyaya on Facebook

    Jan 2011
    Stockholm
    282

    Thanks for your words - I pretty much fed straight through from when I finished writing that post (9.50) to 11.20. And he's back on again now after cracking it when I took him off.

    I don't remember it being like this the first time around (probably adaptive survival behaviour!!).