Feeling upset from negativity towards my choice to toddler bf and tandem feed

I get the your not going to feed them both are you? from people, or they ask do you plan to tandem feed? then nod blankly when I say thats the plan. So I can totally sypathise. People can be quite narrow minded and lacking in tact sometimes. I am pretty good at ignoring it now though.

As for toddlers grabbing for it out in public, Noah is pretty good for the most part but when he wants it bad enough he grabs at it, it is his only form of letting me know as he doesn't vocalise it yet. It's can't always be helped. I do then assume feeding position with him across my lap but am not so sure that will work for so mouch longer due to the expanding belly and when bub is here and he wants a feed at the same time... I can see the challenge now...

Jodie, what an awful and tactless thing to be told. Some people don't have even an ounce of sensitivity in them. Maybe they loathe themselves so much they have to make others feel just as crap.

Teeth!!! Noahs teeth graze my nipples sometimes but it only makes them mildly sore. I have been very extremely lucky and have never had a problem with feeding or nipple problems, I only hope to continue being so lucky.

Lee - I think you're doing a fabulous job and no, it is not time for you to "get over it". You have nothing to get over! You're doing the best you know how for your gorgeous girl and your new baby. The unfortunate thing is that whatever it is, there will always be people out there that think that their way of thinking is correct and that they have the right to tell you so. Saying ignore them is useless but hey, ignore them ;) If you and your DH, and importantly your DD, are happy with the situation then that is all the important people covered. As a mother who has not been able to breastfeed her babies for longer than a few months, I am so incredibly envious that you are still breastfeeding your DD. Knowing that I will never again hold my baby to my breast is pretty heartbreaking at times so I have nothing but admiration and respect for you that you are continuing for as long as it suits your family.

Kate: I agree with you that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I've had a few negative looks in my short breastfeeding life and also some pretty horrid comments while bottle feeding. And whoever said to you how easy bottles were has obviously never had to deal with full time bottle feeding. Why society as a whole doesn't embrace breastfeeding for as long as a child wants it for all its advantages - physical, financial, emotional and time management - is beyond me.

Well, really - don't you know that when you have the second child you have to neglect the first child? :p
I do feel angry for you though, firstly for the stupid people who said what they said and secondly for noone else coming to your aid under such a barrage. Is there a scientific study that looks at the size of people's mouth in relation to the the size of their ignorance? :rolleyes:

Oh yeah.. been there done that LOL. Just hang in there and smile proudly with both your babes in your arms, BOTH nourished by your beautiful milk! The proof is truly in the pudding. They will all quietly eat their own words when they see what a success your tandem feeding will be.

pfft to them all!

IGNORE the stupid midwives at the hospital.. IGNORE the stupid GPs.. IGNORE well meaning relatives.. ignore ignore ignore! LMAO.

Oh, and like someone else said, I always looked shocked that they would even suggest such a thing. When they ask if I was still feeding I answered "yeah" as if to say "what else would I be doing?". LOL. Weaning? what's that??

We tandem fed for 6 months. Everything was fine, everything went smoothly, the kids have bonded beautifully, and I showed all those ignoramus's a thing or two ;)

You're in great company here, if not IRL... you're doing a fantastic job, and it's no one elses business how/when you feed.

Thanks a heap guys.

Yeh, I find DD's teeth do make things a big struggle sometimes. And I guess with the nipples being more tender, it's not a great combo!..Actually the other day I had her top teeth imprinted around my nipple eeeeekkk! But, the snuggly cuddles and her enjoyment seem to make up for all that. There is definitely something very special about having her bf'ing, and then having the little bub wriggling around inside me at the same time! (Probably because it's angry at being squashed in there with DD lying on top of my belly- but still very cute! :-) )

Actually, one particular person offered to come and stay after bub is born (this is the same person who has already made some negative comments about me feeding the 2 of them- but to DH not me) and I clearly said no way. As if I need someone looking down her nose at me when I'm trying to get the hang of feeding the 2 of them! I magine the "I told you so" comments if things turn out to be a mess! Don't need that negativity thank you very much!
I guess I am lucky that my mum is supportive of tandem feeding (although she lives away), she is still good to have no matter which way things turn out.

Kmn, no offence taken! Similar thoughts have crossed my mind. My DD is more then happy to drink from her cup..although still no substitute for mummas milk!

Thanks Liz, always love your comments..

Oh - re preparing.. I guess I subconsciously prepared us in a way for things being different. I weaned DS from night feeds when he was around 15 months, which turned out to be a good thing because not sure I could have got up to feed 2 at night.. he still woke, but by the time bub was here he was just climbing into our bed himself and going back to sleep. Because I was sure my milk had diminished (not that you'd know coz he still fed as often lol) i did introduce cows milk, but he happily gave up cows milk in exchange for the yummy newborn milk when bub arrived. But I didn't give him cows milk as preparation for weaning, it just kinda slipped into our routine to have a cup of warm milk before bed just in case he wasn't getting much from me. I'm pretty sure for a long time all he was getting was colostrum coz his nappies were foul LOL.

and teeth - yeah ouch.. it does hurt, but I've never been chewed as hard as they chew toys. And I've only ever been bitten whilst teething the top teeth, so I haven't ever had a bite from both top & bottom teeth together (yet!). They're pretty good at knowing not to bite. They do test the limits from time to time, but they can be pretty quick to learn it's not on.

Yeh, Liz I'm glad DD doesn't ask for night feeds anymore as I don't think I could get up to feed them both either. Lucky for us, she stopped them shortly after turning 1 and it's only on a rare occassion when she's really unsettled or sick that I have to give her one.
I probably should work on getting her to take some warm cow's milk though like some of you have said. ATM she almost spews when she tastes it :doh:

Yep in hinesight i would have liked to wean my DS1 off night feeds, because in the first couple of months he was waking 3-4 times wanting to feed as well as the baby! i think because he stopped eating food and so was wanting more milk. Only in the past few weeks has my toddler started to only wake once a night for a feed (even this exhausts me), which is better but still hard. I can't go through the stress of night weaning him now as i need what sleep and peace i can get, but in hinesight its something that would have made things easier now.

Lee another thing to consider - my DS has never liked cows milk, he just won't drink it. I too wanted him to have a substitute so when he was around 18 months i introduced rice milk in a cup just as an alternative. He'd still BF frequently but he quite liked the drinking out of a cup factor ;) I later switched him to oat milk as its lower carbs, more nutritious. Though the two are interchangeable as they taste the same. Ironically though since the baby was born he won't take ANY other liquid except breastmilk, not even water, juice etc. Which is hard at times, and this is when the juggling act comes in to play as i try to feed them both at the same time. So one thing which would be helpful to practice, is with a doll and your toddler, just play around with positions as to how you can do them both if you have to. Its a bit easier now that the baby is 3 months and not so fragile!

Thanks for the tips MummaB. Yeh, when reading through your experiences before about you trying not to let your little bub get squashed by your DS, I can just imagine this happening with us too! I must look into that..