I gave in....

[Amaunet]

Well I have just done what I swore not to, what I have counselled my friends against, what all my reading and experience tells me is the wrong thing to do...I gave DS formula to make him go to sleep... AND IT WORKED

We had a bad night - feeding 3 hourly, up at 6am, feeding 1/2 - 2 hourly - two tiny naps - I just didn't have it in me to keep going. I tried lying in bed with him - he thought it was great fun - tried rocking, patting, leaving him in his cot....

and then I made a 90ml bottle of formula and gave it to him and he went to sleep

I feel terrible - I just keep remembering someone saying to me "of course they sleep, its like concrete in their tummies"

He starts daycare in two weeks and will HAVE to have some formula then...I can't believe I gave in - I feel so selfish...

Thanks for listening

[Ella]

Don't beat yourself up honey, remember that if you can't keep going then you can't provide for them and I think that a small bottle of formula is much better than the alternative of you losing it!

[Nai]

Don't beat yourself up hun! It may have been coincidence that he slept after the bottle.

Now you know that he WILL take a bottle of formula if you aren't around - try to think of it as a trial for childcare

[Amaunet]

Thanks Girls - he just woke up - so the formula was no real help anyway LOL (I think I am secretly pleased) Yep - it is a good trial for childcare - thanks for helping gain some perspective

[Smoke Jaguar]

Can't believe you expect to make rational decisions when you're strung out on very little sleep! Put your stick away, please

[Arimeh]

I'm sorry you feel bad about it - parenting is hard isn't it!!

But - I dunno about the "concrete in their tummies" comment - all my kids have been formula fed, and I'm yet to get a good bloody sleeper!!!! lol

Maybe you should get them to tell you which one makes the concrete cos obviously I'm using the wrong brand... rofl...

[Amaunet]

Thanks Mayaness and Arimeh - yep definitely nothing rational going on today (or most other days for that matter I love I can always rave away in here and there are people who UNDERSTAND!!!

I actually heard the "concrete" comment at an ABA meeting... LOL on the brand tho - will remember to ask next time

He is playing happily on his mat being REALLY cute - so I guess I should just count myself lucky!!! He has just learnt to give kisses too - big, open mouthed, drooly kisses - he is definitely worth no sleep

[Fleur]

I feel terrible - I just keep remembering someone saying to me "of course they sleep, its like concrete in their tummies"

Of course you feel terrible, that's a horrible image to have in your mind! But really, what did you do? you didn't feed him concrete...you gave him milk, designed for babies. It's not poison

I really wish you wouldn't beat yourself up women use formula for all kinds of reasons, & if you are at the end of your tether & needing to try something else, that is as good a reason as any
You know, in 5, 10 years time, that one bottle of formula won't matter so much...(I don't want to make light of your feelings, but just trying to put it in another perspective...)

And FWIW , I had one who was FF after a week, one who was FF after 8 weeks, one who was BF & one currently on EBM. None of them sleeping through at 12 months lol (well DD2 is only 5 1/2 mths yet, so maybe she will break the mould lol)

[Indadhanu]

Oh darlin'! You didn't "give in" you did what you needed to do at the time. Be gentle with yourself, you didn't throw him out a window for goodness sake, you fed him, which is one of those things that us parents have to do occassionally I understand you didn't want to, but formula really isn't evil, please be kind to yourself. And as others have said, at least you know he'll take it

[Amaunet]

Thanks Jasp and Leasha - I know the formula won't hurt him - I was fully formula fed and there's nothing (much ) wrong with me

I think its more that the formula was never going to do what I needed it to do (make him sleep) I have just "given in" to those insidious messages (from some of those around me)that my breast milk isn't enough - which I know is not true IYKWIM

Thanks again

[onthefly]

Yes, please put that stick away.
A lot of parenting is just trial and error. so you tried something different...? It either does or does not work, you reassess and move on. That's all.

[MantaRay]

hun. I can only agree with everyone else. Please try not to feel bad, all anyone of us can do is what we think is best at the time. You have given your little one over 5 months of exclusive bm - that is a fantastic effort and a great start for him. Well done for that hun.

[~Kaz~]

hun. I've been there before so many times. The only reason I haven't given it to DS is that there's no formula in the house. Not getting enough sleep totally sucks. (And I was ff from one month and I reckon I'm ok too, DP might disagree though )

[sloane]

i'm another who was FF & is *mostly* fine

i'm totally with you on the sleep dep & if someone told me that standing on my head for an hour while singing jingle bells would make ds sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, i'd prob give it a go!

fwiw, we tried formula one night at around 1ish so DP could feed him & i could get a longer sleep....corey promptly threw the whole lot back up all over DP & i had to get up anyways

[tippytoes]

Don't beat yourself up CF, you are doing your very best here. And it is so much harder when you are tired. You simply can't function when you are so sleep deprieved. Also, I agree what a good training run for day care.
Also,

He has just learnt to give kisses too - big, open mouthed, drooly kisses - he is definitely worth no sleep

. Sounds like my DS and yours went to the same school of kissing (and poo chairs)! Mine gives kisses like that too, he loves to get your chin -but now he has a tooth I'm not so keen on that one!
Anyway, big ! You are doing brilliantly, and definately did not do anything wrong!
Rach xx