Need support to keep going

[Amaunet]

I am so tired as I write this....apologies if it makes absolutely no sense. I am soooo close to putting DS on formula - to try and get him to SLEEP!!! I know this is not a good approach and may not work but I have no idea what else to do... I just YELLED at him to GO TO SLEEP and now I am crying because I feel awful. He is sooooo tired and whiney and grumpy but is refusing to sleep. I get him to sleep in my arms, put him down, crawl into my own bed (I only had 4 hours last night) then 5 mins later he is awake and whining in his cot.

He used to go down awake and self settle day and night - but this is now not happening. He has bf every 2 hours for the last few days and my boobs are really sore and feel so empty (even tho I know they are not)...

(I just got him from his cot and put him on his playmat and he wanted ANOTHER feed - it has only been 45 mins)

We have started solids in the last few days but it has made no difference to his bf demands. I am so tired I feel sick.

Can someone please help me not give up....or give in...I don't want to stop bf, but need sleep

[Olive]

take a deeeeep breath.

tbh id stop the solids for few days and see if thats perhaps the culprit, we had sleep issues when we fist started DD2 on solids so stoped for 2 weeks before starting again. there is no gaurentee that FF will help him sleep better either. is he crawling yet? or about too?? as bubs become unsettled before big milestones

[Amaunet]

Thanks Olive - this was happening well before the solids - which he loves. They were a part of the need more sleep strategy... He has just learnt to roll really well - both ways - and he is much more active in his cot which prob doesn't help...

I am going to ly on the lounge while he plays on the floor...hopefully rest if I can't sleep

[Traveller]

In this situation I would take him into bed with you and offer him unlimited access to the boob. You may not want to co-sleep long term but in the short term it will get you a few nights sleep and some clarity before you think of the next steps you can take to help him sleep. He is of the age where he may get distressed if you are away from him, so a few nights of constant cuddles may just be the key to relaxing him.

Good luck with this. I have been there and it is so tiring. Please don't be upset with yourself for shouting at him though, it is a normal reaction when you are very tired and most mums have done it as some point.

T
xx

[NaeNae]

In this situation I would take him into bed with you and offer him unlimited access to the boob.

yep what i was going to say.The last few nights dd hasn't wanted to go down and seriously feeding her laying down in bed and letting her suck away has been the only thing to get her to settle.
Your ds may be going through a learning/development stage which i believe can make them pretty unsettled. so keep that in mind that its just a phase and it will get better .... it may just be the thing that helps you while ds makes his leap.

your a great mummy, don't feel bad about yelling at your son i think its part of it, you only yelled out of frustration at not knowing how to help your baby just take a breath and forgive yourself hug ds and all will be forgiven x x

much luv
nae x x

[Sterla]

I don't have any new suggestions or advice, but I want you to know you're not alone! It was around 4-5 months when DS started not sleeping well. Since then we've been through numerous rough patches (we've just come through the other side of one now). I am in the process of reading No Cry Sleep Solutions too, hoping for some answers and a full night's sleep (for the first time in over 6 months!).

The sleep deprivation is hard, it's not nice. The main thing to remember is to be kind to yourself. We don't have to be supermum all the time, so if you need a day where you just let DS play quietly by himself or watch tv a bit or something like that, while you rest on the couch - go for it!
Also, can your DP or someone watch your DS for an hour or so at some point through the day so you can have a rest? I often kick DH out of bed with DS of a morning so I can get an extra hours sleep - it really makes all the difference.

You're not alone, and I hope you get some sleep soon!

[~Kim~]

I don't really have any advise CF, but I wanted to offer support and empathy. Both my two have done this and I totally understand how tough it is.
Work on just getting through one feed and then one day at a time.

He sounds like his little brain is doing lots of processing and his little body is ready for a growth spurt though.

[nattyfred]

The last few nights dd hasn't wanted to go down and seriously feeding her laying down in bed and letting her suck away has been the only thing to get her to settle.

Same here we do this almost every evening and sometimes if Im extra tired in the day as it beats the struggle and tears..sometimes we sleep together and sometimes I put her in her bed once she is well and truly asleep.

I hope it gets better hun...

[sloane]

i know it's no consolation, but things have been were/are very similar here too.

i found we had some really bad nights once DS worked out that he could also roll in his cot, not just when he was on the floor. he would keep rolling as soon as we put him in his cot, then would cry because he doesn't like to roll off his tummy i don't have a solution because it's still happening here, although it has improved slowly as he's decided he likes sleeping on his tummy.

i agree with traveller on the co-sleeping - i didn't want to co-sleep but it's the only way i've been able to increase my sleep. DS starts the night in his cot & at some point i take him into the spare bed with me. it's made re-settling much easier & as we've gone along, it's gone from taking him in with me at 11-12 to 3.30ish the last couple of nights. it's made those night feeds much less of a demand on me & while i haven't mastered feeding in a way that means i go back to sleep while he is feeding, as soon as i put him down we're both asleep again.

with the 2 hourly feeding, maybe your DS is just regulating your supply? maybe his needs have changed or he's growing so he's just feeding lots to ensure that your supply meets his new needs?

you can definitely get through this hun. it seems like our LOs go through lots of changes around now - starting solids, growing, changing sleep needs (like dropping naps etc), feeling separation anxiety - and i think staying with the BFing is a great way to keep something constant & reassuring for them, if that makes sense?