Nipples too sore, can't bf, getting depressed

LOL - dont forget to show DH!

Thanks!! so far nipple shield has been ok. Hope it stays that way...

What this special tape??

Ella's mum - thanks hun.. really hopefully next time bf works. it's such a huge challenge.. xoxoxox

you poor thing!

I found breast feeding really painful for about 2 weeks.

a maternal child health nurse came to visit me at home and said something which I now pass on to any new mum that I meet.

She said that because you nipples have so much blood flowing into them, once you get the attachment right, your nipples can go from absolutely like they have a red hot neddle in them to 95% better within 12 hours. And that was exactly what happened for me.

I went from bleeding and almost ready to climb the wall with the pain to my nipples being more than ok to persevere. It took about 6 weeks for it to completely settle, but it was certainly bearable during that time.

I know it's dreadful, but I reckon see if you can get yourself into a breastfeeding class asap and try to persevere. If you can manage it, breastfeeding makes your life so much easier over the coming months, as you won't have to deal with getting up in the middle of the night to sterlise/make up milk while you have a screaming baby. Also the health benefits for a breastfed baby are amazing, even if you can do it for a few months.

It's hard to imagine at the time, but the pain really does subside.

Good luck! (And you're not alone)!

One more thing - ABA counselling hotline. They aren't lactation consultants and aren't trained to help you with the mechanics of breastfeeding the way a LC does, but they do help you with encouragement, support, ideas and to give you coping mechanisms. You don't have to be a subscriber (but if you find them really helpful, it IS nice to give a little back by subscribing - you get a great mag every few months and if you join your local group, you make fantastic friends...I did), and you can call them whenever you need them.
Everyone who gets to 6 weeks bfing needs some sort of special encouragement award for making it past the 'initiation' - the rest is reward in itself, that much you can be sure of :)

WOOHOO Prama!!! WTG!!!
Just baby steps hon... keep trying the attachment a few times a day, and express as often as you are able... it sounds like things are on the improve already! :D

I just want to say that I can relate to a lot of your early BF experience (having only been there myself in the past few weeks).
My nipples were cracked and bleeding, and it was just AGONY to BF (I would cry and yell with pain every time she attached!), and was getting worse each day - and my milk hadn't even come in!
I have now been to see the hospital LC 3 times, and since then I gave my nipples a huge break (and YES they did heal during the 'time off'), and I took up expressing in a big way (because she also wasnt latching on effectively enough to make me have a let down).
I am now feeding Eva from both breasts about 4 times each a day, and topping her up with EBM (as she always still seems to be hungry after being on my boobs, even if she's been on them for nearly an hour!), and expressing every 2-3 hours or so, and luckily at the moment I seem to be making about twice as much milk as she requires, so I am storing it all! I am just using a manual Avent pump, and it is working really well... what pump are you using?

I just want to wish you all the best, and tell you that I think you are doing a fantastic job! and also that I can really relate to what you are going through at the moment, and want to give you a big *hug!*

my baby arrived two weeks over due date and in cirumstances i woudln't wish on anyone, i'm still trying to come to terms with that (she's 15 months old now).

i really liked being pregnant and didn't want it to end on some levels.

I joined some mother's groups before my bub arrived, and i actually felt the pressure to formula feed more than breastfeed. It seemed everywhere i looked, new mums were FF-ing, not BF-ing. I felt my desire to BF was seen as "different". I tried to get BF educations and went along to the local ABA group too.

Once i had my baby, i fought for the right to give her her first drink, the hospital were into FF, so that was a battle. We did breastfeed in hospital for the five days i was there, but it was so confusing, every midwife on every shift, had a different set of advice for me.

i can honestly say that breastfeeding felt like having my nipple stapled for the first four months, i desperately needed my dh's support cos it was so hard to keep going.

We are at 15 months breastfeeding now, and i have not taken ANY of those days for granted, i am grateful for every single day i have been able to feed her, cos IT IS SO NOT EASY. It did get easier after four months, but that seemed like a really long time to me.

Getting information on positions is good (from the ABA).

Having a consistent place to ask is good.

But there are so many things you need to do as a mum, and all of our circumstances are different, bottom line is baby needs nourishment, and you need your sanity. Do what you need to do, if the desire to breastfeed is still in you, keep it in mind. My midwife told me it's possible to relactate even a few months after not breastfeeding, so don't feel like you're closing the door forever, if you decide to stop for the moment.

i also had it in my head that the world would stop turning if i DIDN"T breastfeed (pressure i put on myself). After the labour was such a disaster, i felt EVEN MORE compelled to breastfeed, to somehow "make it up" to my DD for having let her down in the arrival department.

i didn't feel the bonding happen immediately either. All i could think of is "you nearly died".

My baby took a VERY long time to learn how to smile. I took that as a punishment to me, that i failed her by the labour being so traumatic. When really, it was just an individual baby taking a long time to learn how to smile. So our postnatal depression can interprete things that are perfectly normal, as bad things.

it's so hard, your hormones are all over the shop, your body has just been thru a huge event, it a Big Gig to have a baby.

hugs to you, whatever you do, you won't let your bub starve, that's what matters, you're looking after her needs, you love her and in time WILL bond with her, but it will take time. Give yourself that. You're still getting over the shock of the earlier than expected birth.

the Early Daze are so hard for many of us. I felt like EVERY OTHER MUM was coping better than me, but behind closed doors, i reckon MANY mums freak out after baby has arrived. it's just not talked about much.

Just a note about relactating - it is possible, it's also a major challenge and can be heartbreaking, though extremely rewarding should the baby actually reattach at a later stage :)

Hi prama

Oh you poor thing, what a drama you've been thru to get to where you are now. It sounds like you're really committed to giving bfing a good hard go and it's that kind of determination and the right amount of support that will get you through these tough times. :hug:

I want to second the comment re the ABA. I have posted the hotline numbers for you below.

BREASTFEEDING HELPLINES
New South Wales (02) 8853 4999

As great as it is to have the BB support here online, sometimes a kind voice with some good suggestions on the other end of the phone can be just what you need. And if you can get to a meeting you'll more than likely find yourself talking to lots of other mums who have had similar issues to yours.

Good luck! Bfing is a commitment and a journey you make with your baby and you will be able to look back and feel proud of yourself for what you've achieved.

Incidentally, I am also from Sydney and altho I don't know where in Sydney you are I can thoroughly recommend my ABA group. If you're a bit nervous about going along as a stranger you are more than welcome to come along with me next time. PM me if you'd like to or even if you just want to have a chat.

Thanks heaps Jennifer, I'm in Ermington. I did ring the hotline the other day when I stopped bf-ing and wanted to know what to do. The ladies are very helpful. thanks for posting the number.

The Early Childhood Centre put in me in touch with Family Care in Parramatta, and we had a 1.5 meeting with the LC.
It was good, she really helped with bub's attachment, our options etc. So, right now, we're bf-ing each feed, though my milk is still very little, we're topping up with formula. I'm using the nipple shield for now, as it's still sore and bub still chomps. I tried without it, it was painful and I think physically and emotionally Im not ready to try without it yet. Bub's a bit better at attaching now, so it's a little easier. He knows to open his mouth and look for the nipple but having him on the breast for almost an hr, still leaves him hungry. I'm still not making enough.
It's already getting a bit tiring as the feeds are now every 3 hrs instead of 4 hrs with formula. With formula, DH would feed him while I had a sleep.

Sorry, will post more.. he's starting to wake up for the next feed!

xooxoxoxox

I'm so glad to hear you are persisting and things are going ok using the nipple shield. I have heard that nipple shield use can decrease supply though, can you pump a little as well to try to help increase your supply?

Prama glad you got some good advice from the ABA. Breastmilk is more easily digested by babies, that's why he doesn't go as long between feeds after bfing compared with ffing. Is it possible for the LC to come out and spend a bit more time with you to help with attachment again? The good news is as DS grows his little mouth gets bigger and it gets easier for him to attach - but in the meantime you shouldn't be finding it so painful!

Let me know if you'd like to come along to an ABA meeting, I'm on the north shore, so not too far from you (my MIL lives near there and I know that's way too close for comfort!). I can pull out the next meeting dates (it's once a month) and see if that works for you.

Twin Sister - I know that nipple shield doesnt get as much out but i didnt know it decreases your supply. I tried without it yesterday and it was painful. I might try it later today.

Jennifer - thanks! I was at the last ABA meeting at West Ryde, on the 12th, and met a few mums there. Were you there? I wanted to go for the one on the 26th.. but bub came early and of cos couldnt make it. Are you in the Epping/Ryde area group? or is there another in the nth shore?

I'm in the ABA Turramurra group. I'm not sure when our next meeting is, but it sounds like you've already met some ppl at a group that's closer. Still, if you'd like to meet another BB person in real life we could make a date?!

How are you going today?

Prama, you're making such great progress :)
WRT the nipple shields, don't stress too much about the supply because in order to build supply you're going to need to feed and if you're not feeding for long because of the pain then your aim will be defeated and you may as well stay with shields until you can feed for longer without pain IYKWIM. SHields aren't evil and they can help in your confidence. That said, it is still a good idea to try once every day or every couple of days without them to see how you're going. Unless you can get your hands on some tape that was recommended in a thread that I started here, in relation to nipple pain. I haven't needed to try it yet, and it seems like it interferes less with the skin-to-skin contact that stimulates lactation.
If nipple shields help you to BF, then it's a positive thing.
Anyway, you've been plugging along for a week more than you thought you could do, so see what you're capable of when you give yourself some credit? :dance:

Jennifer - would be great to meet up once we're more settled. :)

Mayaness - thanks hun.. I tried without the nipple shield this morning and it was still very painful, brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes even with the nipple shield, it's painful. I dont know how to make it better.
But my milk is still so little, we have to top up with about 40-60ml formula. I think I must be giving him only 20mls, after 40mins on the breast.

Also I'm not sure when to switch, my boobs arent firm, they're soft. So far, I'm giving one boob a feed then the same boob for about 20mins in hte next feed and then switching. and the second boob for the second half of the feed and full on the following feed. I know I'm supposed to feel for lumpy sections that may not be drained but i find it hard to tell...

Hi Prama - sounds like you're doing pretty well to me:D I had to use nipple shields for a number of weeks too, and they still hurt a bit for a while but as the nipples healed it felt better (well dah... of course it did:doh:) and we gradually weaned off them only about 3 weeks ago. They kept me bfing when I might otherwise have given up! As for feeling for lumpiness etc I know what you mean there too... I'm finding it best to tell the difference by feeling just before the feed and then again just after, and I find that (probably due to their size and the outer fatty layer...) they seem to feel soft on the outside both times, but there's a firmness further in before the feed iykwim - I also find it easier to feel a change by feeling the sides rather than the top (where gravity pulling downwards makes them seem firmer anyway) or underneath (again I'm blaming gravity, this time for making them seem softer). That said, I still check after each feed all over in the same way as the usual monthly breast check to try to stave off blocked ducts etc. And Prama don't worry about your supply - it'll get there! And remember bubs has a very tiny tummy still, so can't take in all that much in one go yet - amazing how nature seems to work things out so that as bubs' tummy gets bigger so does our supply, even if it is hard for us control freaks to relax and let nature take the reins:lol: