This is long I know, I just thought I'd get it all out of my system and get all the details out there.

I first found BB when I was looking for answers to the supply issues I was having with DD1 - after her being born LBW and gaining under 200g in the first 3 weeks and being dehydrated I switched to expressing (which was only ever 110-240ml even on motillium a day) and formula in bottles for about a month whilst my cracked nipples healed before I tried to relactate. Long and short is, I tried EVERYTHING, and despite this was never able to lose the comps, so we mixed fed till DD1 refused the breast at 7 months.

This time I was prepared, I saw the LC before birth, I had a small but healthy baby who has a strong healthy suck, can wake to feed, wasn't in the SCN at all and who I have been putting to the breast regularly with perfect latch since birth.

So, I still never felt my milk 'come in'. What I would give to feel engorged and in pain from big, hard, full breasts! Only way I knew my milk was in is that when I squeezed my nipple white milk came out instead of colostrum.

I also have not leaked AT ALL, even with DD1 I still leaked till 6 weeks or so a bit at night.

I am totally baffled by what constitutes a wet nappy or not, I mean, I am so paranoid about whether I am getting 6 or not, and even when I do (those little wetness liners are amazing as DD2 is in sposies at moment) I am not sure if it is wet enough, it's not like it feels heavy or anything. All I am doing is worrying, worrying, worrying.

Good news is, DD2 was born at 2.96kg (but she did a poo on way out so would have been a bit heavier and prob why she didn't lose as much) and only lost 140g first 5 days. Having said that, when they weighed her 5 days later, she'd only gained 60g and although she has from day 2 had a few hours of cluster feeding (at night for the first week, lucky me) she wanted to be on the breast for over 6 hours and counting on Monday. After not having slept for well, 12 days since didn't sleep the 2 days before she was born and her day and nights were totally backwards, I was in tears when at 6 hours she didn't look like stopping and DH went up in the middle of the night and bought some formula - gave her one feed and she fell asleep finally for a few hours. Failure.

Next night I fed her through the day again (she woke a few hours after her formula feed and breastfed well before going to sleep again) first nights sleep I have had, had about 6 hours all up as DH got up for DD1 and gave me the extra couple. Have been feeding her around 2 hourly through the day (unless I can't wake her for a feed) more if she wants, I did the cluster feed on Tuesday for a few hours until 10 when gave her another bottle so could get some sleep. I don't know whether I feel good about knowing I'm not starving her, or like a failure for not feeding her constantly so my boobs get the best shot possible.
Wednesday, I was really sick with gastro, as in was in agony with cramps and passing acid so was incapable of feeding or even holding her during those times and she ended up with 2 bottles. Still got as many breastfeeds as usual.

Dr started me on Motillium on Wednesday. Today I decided no more bottles (unless we have another one of those 6 hour sessions that don't look like stopping). I THINK from weighing bubs at chemist yesterday that she is JUST back to her birthweight so still has only put on (or back on I should say) 140g in almost 2 weeks even with the bottles. I don't know if I'm dong the right thing or not, I'm swaying from thinking that I knew there was a high probability I wouldn't get a full supply with this one either and was prepared to mixed feed again, to being devastated that I don't have heaps of milk because DD LOVES breastfeeding (she hates the teat in bottle and dummy) and is so good at it and I have no pain or anything but worrying I'm going to starve my child. I don't know what I'm really asking for, there's nowhere else I can really go to vent though as I either get the (just feed more regularly from LCs who should know better and just assume I don't have any real issues) to (it's ok to bottle feed from everyone else).