Need some advice - butting heads with OB over dates

[Doing my best]

Hi all,

I know I am leaving this a bit late since I have an appointment tomorrow, but since this is the site that has given me so much insight, where better to ask my questions?

I had an elective ceaser with my DD as OB said my pelvis was too small. I was too niave (brought up that if you are going to a dr, you trust what they say ) and didn't know any better, so I didn't question anything, just went along with it and had my daughter at 38+4.

We are seeing the same ob again, but I am butting heads about the date he wants to book me in for. When I was there last at 14 weeks, he is wanting to book the date as it is going to be a planned ceaser again. When I got home and worked out the dates, I realised it was 38 weeks exactly and I don't really feel comfortable with that. When I rang the next day and explained my concerns, I was told my due date has changed after my last scan (seems rather convenient to me ). I am happy to have my baby closer to 39 weeks than 38 as I think I would be pushing to go much later than that with most obs..

So my arguement is pretty much that the risk of me going into labour before 39 weeks is much smaller than the potential danger of my baby being born too early? DD was fine when she was born, but nowhere near ready in nature. She hadn't even engaged, and I don't want to just assume that this one will be fine too..

IS that enough to argue since I am the one paying the money? DH and I need to be happy with our decision. I am willing to seek a 2nd opinion (go to another OB) if he doesn't budge, and am just praying that I can find one that will accept new patients..

I am not disappointed that I had a ceaser with DD, nor that I am having one this time, just having issues with the date.. Who knows, if I do change ob's I may be told that I don't have a small pelvis and can try for a VBAC, although not sure if I want that.

TIA for any advice..

[Arimeh]

honey if you don't feel comfortable with it - don't do it. He can't force you to - its your body, your baby and you are paying him to do a job.

Ask him to reconsider, because there is no proof that your body will go into labour early - you don't have a history of say, going into labour at 36 weeks or anything - so I can't see why he would be in a hurry to get the baby out.

[Bronzdbebe]

I also had a csection due to too small pelvis....mmmm??

I also was told by my then OB that all future pregnancies would be a CS, And that I would have my baby at 38 weeks, the reason I was given for that is "that he did not want me too go into natural labour and for it to become an emergency situation. At 38 weeks the baby is fully developed and in the event that bubs would need to come earlier they would use steriods if there were any concerns about the lungs"

I don't know what rights you have in relation to saying NO but I'm sure you have some...whether or not they are considered is another thing though as the OB will probably just turn it around on you and insist on 38 weeks.

Unluckily for me I do have saddness about my CS so if I can tell you anything I would say if you do not hear what you want too or feels like your concerns have fallen on deaf ears I would definately get a second opinion. It is much easier to ask the questions before the event than what it is too deal with the "what if's" after. If I have learnt anything it's that you have to fight for yourself, your wants, your expectations...No-one else is going too.

Good Luck Hun, I hope that whatever the outcome, you are deliriously (sp) happy with the birth of your baby.

[Tobily]

IS that enough to argue since I am the one paying the money? DH and I need to be happy with our decision. I am willing to seek a 2nd opinion (go to another OB) if he doesn't budge, and am just praying that I can find one that will accept new patients..

You don't even have to argue on the basis that you're paying the money.
This is your body, your baby, and your birth. You simply say to your OB "Thanks for your advice, we have decided that we will be having our baby in week 39, can you book us in then".

END of discussion.

Without your consent he can't do it anyway, perhaps he could do with a gentle reminder of that.

Don't approach him like you're asking his permission, you don't need it and nor should he make you feel like you have to get it. If he sees that you feel that way, he will use that position of power your putting him in to call the shots. But the shot-calling needs to come from you! Your baby isn't sick, neither are you, there is no reason he should be telling you what is going to happen and disregarding your needs. Make no mistake, his preference for you to be booked at 38 weeks probably has alot more to do with his trying to juggle other clients than it does about you or your bub.

Stand up and tell him what will be happening with your birth. And the "small pelvis" thing is really worth investigating further as well. NO ONE, obstetrician included can tell if your pelvis is too small for your baby before you've laboured and this is really very rare, at any rate.

Good luck

[Maruschke]

Heather

On what basis did your dates change? Was it a scan? Remember that the earlier the scan, the more reliable. I would simply tell the OB that I wasn't happy with a planned CS at 38 weeks, and go for a later date. He can't really object. Just make sure that you are happy, it is your birth and your child. Good luck hun .

[Doing my best]

Thanks girls...

OB reluctantly booked me in for 39 weeks. But he kept saying that I may go into labour before that and there is the risk of uterine rupture. DH & I explained that we know the chances of that are low, and the possible consquences and this is what we want.

The dates changed due to 13 week scan, and I said to DH when I hung up phone that it was 'convenient'. This is 39 weeks from my dates and 1st scan, so I am comfortable with that.

I have the wonderful community of BB to thank for giving me the info to know what we wanted to do, so thank you!!

And while I know now that this ob is renouned for the 'small pelvis' ceasers, I can't change the past, but we do like him despite this fact.. And the fact we made him sulk (and after we left, DH reckoned he looked like a p** p** head ) kinda gave me satisfaction. I fought and got what I want!!!

[Maruschke]

Glad you got what you wanted!

[bon]

Good on you! The chances of you going into labour before then are very low, and even if you do, the chances of uterine rupture are so low that you will not be in any danger, and they will more than likely have plenty of time to do a c/s.

Be prepared for the OB to keep pushing you to have it earlier though - he will probably still try to convince you that 38 weeks is better. Just stick to your guns and do not let him scare or guilt you into changing your mind.