5yr old suddenly defiant and totally changed personality - i don't know what to do

[oli's mum]

Hi,

I am sitting here on the verge of tears not knowing what to do. I have a beautiful 5yr old whom i would say has always been your typical boy. Happy most of the time, the occasional tanty but a pretty good kid. We also have an 8mth old baby and the two of them are bonded so strongly already. Luckily we have never had jealousy issues, the 5yr old idolises his little brother. DS will be starting big school next year.

Over the last couple of weeks however, his behaviour has turned really bad. He is not listening to anything we say, we have not changed anything we do with him,i would not say he is angry but he is smirking and running around the house and making loud annoying noises right in our faces. He won't go to bed and is just plan crazy. I have tried to calmly talk to him, not wanting to make things worse but he just won't go back to his normal self. He has a cousin who suffers from ADHD and ODD, i know this can be genetic and is more prevelant in boys and there are also traits in my DH and his father. It terrifies me that this may be a part of what we are dealing with. My DH has always been into sport and fitness and channels all his energy there so it's never been a problem as such. We have decided to cut out any suggary and processed foods, make more of a strict routine throughout the day and include some form of exercise with his dad every evening. DH recently got a new job so he could be at home more as his previous role was hugely demanding.

Over the last few years we have had all kinds of hurdles to overcome, and i just felt that life had finally come back to normal. I really just want someone to give me some tips and advice on how to deal with these "episodes" when they occurr. I feel like i am going to loose the plot. When i drop him off at kindy i have a knot in my stomach as he bit someone there the other day! We have talked to him about all of this and he says he understands that he needs to listen and not to hurt his friends etc. but now that it is affecting things outside where i cant be there to control the situation i am freaking out.

Please someone give me some direction....Thanks

[Lulu]

If things have been hard over the last few years do you think it might be that he is used to more activity, general buzzing around the house - a more stress filled environment (for want of a better description)....maybe it will take a bit of time for him to chill down a bit?

I don't know, just throwing it out there.

Why don't you have a chat with his Kinder teacher and see if there is anything going on there. A friend of mine has a son who started acting out a bit when a very naughty boy started at his kinder too.
You never know.

Hang in there - it doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. The discipline should stay the same, if not up it a bit to reflect the new behaviour. Try to catch him being good and focus on those times xoxoxo

[fourthontheway]

Even though your kids are beautifully bonded, it doesn't mean your eldest child isn't having a few difficulties with the adjustments in his life. He's not the baby anymore, he's starting school, his father in a new job, those are big things.

If you're wondering about food allergies, it's a good idea to keep a diary of what he eats and when the moods happen. I discovered a dairy allergy like that, and it was easy to fix, and we saw improvement within 2 weeks! If you're concerned about ADD or ADHD it's an idea to put him on some fish oil, that can help with the brain connection stuff.

It's so frustrating when kids go off the deep end isn't it! I can really sympathise with you.

[Lulu]

You are certainly on the right track with getting him excercising with his daddy each night, give that time to make some difference. My MCHN says 5 yr boys need to be 'run' lol for an hour every day.

[oli's mum]

Thanks for your responses girls. Yes things have been crazy for a while and maybe your right Lulu, i have spoken to his teacher and she thinks he is just bored and really ready for school. I try to praise him for the good stuff as often as i can too. fourthontheway - the changes you mentioned are big for a little person so i am trying to talk to him about those things too. I will try the fish oil, thanks, i did have him on it a couple of years back but just finished up a bottle and never replaced it i guess. I called parent line this morning too and found a lovely lady to talk all this through with too. It's great to get another perspective on things which is why i love Bellybelly too.

Thanks again, i just have to focus on how we deal with these "episodes" while they are occurring as calmly and the best we can.

[Lulu]

I can't wait till school starts either......

You are doing a great job, keep it up xoxoxo

[blackduckies]

Oh my goodness, are you talking about my 5 year old DS??? he slapped my DD on the leg so hard that he made a huge red mark and banged the swing into the babys face, accidently on purpose???? and that was just this morning!!! He runs around making loud annoying, over the top noises and has stopped listening to anything we say. i have been wondering if there is SOMETHING WRONG with him, but have come to the same conclusion, HE IS WELL AND TRULY READY FOR SCHOOL. I want my lovely little boy back!!! at the moment I am so glad to take him off to kindy, just to stop the destruction of household items and other kids!! Next year we will be getting him into some sports to keep him active and amused, maybe even karate for the discipline involved??
I think it is pretty normal, but hard to handle all the same.