My kids fail at appreciation. Dreadfully. We are hardly "pov" and they do not go without on basics, treats and affordable stuff, but when you say no to something silly like a DS or a mobile phone with coke and fries, they get all uppity and snippy at us..
The camels back copped one straw too many the other day when as per usual, my children, asked to clean up their own mess, started the usual job designation fight. Miss A as always takes over and gives herself the easy job and assigns everything else to everyone else, causing a circus parade for me of younger kids coming in to gripe about Miss A. This is followed by me going to talk to Miss A and her whinging about every thing the younger ones do, up to and including the fact that they are breathing...
This time I looked at Miss A and advised her that she had better find a way to get along with everyone because she will be living with us for some years to come... To which she spits at me "Unfortunately"
I was naturally floored by this venom laced statement and didn't talk to her for several hours while I calmed down. Then I asked her later to please tell me real reasons, not teenage drama induced reasons with ample evidence to the contrary, why its so unfortunate to live here. She hides behind "I dunno" and eventually we get "we yell at her" out of her but I am sure she has a lot of silly ideas in her head about how we dont give her all the cool crap in the world...
So DH and I have decided to take the kids to Retro World, New Millenium Style. We are taking away all the extras they get... Bare necessities only, just like when we were kids. I've hidden her laptop, there will be no access to the computer, all but the FTA channels are locked on foxtel... They want an afterschool treat, there is vegemite in the cupboard. Thirsty? Drink Water.
For now its just for a week, but if they still have no recognised how much we do do for them that we have absolutely no obligation to do, then it might stay for an encore.
I didn't live a deprived childhood one little bit and these were the staples that we had:
* no TV during the week. There is a yard - use it
* get home, get changed, clean school shoes, wash lunch box, do music practice, do homework, feed chooks or dog, set table or bring washing in from the line (depending on which week it was)
* school lunch consisted of two pieces of fruit, sandwich (usually vegemite) muesli bar and a bottle of drink (occasionally a popper)
* if you were hungry when you got home you knew where the fuit bowl was (no way you went near the biscuit tin unless it was offered) and there was always milk and water in the fridge if you were thirsty.
* dinner was always sitting at the dining table and it was someone's turn every night to lead the conversation generally starting with a something interesting that they saw/learned/thought during the day.
I kind of wish that I could bring up my kids the same way - but I think that society will be working against me
Excuse my French, but you go, mama!! Miss A will biatch and moan for a whole week, and then she'll probably thank you when she wakes up to herself That is an ace way to put your point across. Best of luck with it, I really hope it gets the results you're looking for! Keep us posted, please!
I think it's a great idea! Good luck with it all. I would love to do something with my DD, but she is only 2 3/4! She doesn't understand the concept but I wan't her to learn now. I have no idea how to teach a toddler appreciation and gratitude!
Thanks ladies.. good to hear that its not a knee jerk overreaction by DH and I. They just stopped saying thank you, and spend more time complaining about what we wont get them than anything else. Today the school sent a note home to return the library books Miss A and Mr C have borrowed and not returned seeing how they have moved into HS... Alternatively we can pay $200 to replace them.... $200 worth of books!?!?!?!?! been finding them all over the place. Miss A stands there "But I returned this mum" - well CLEARLY you didnt, its in my flaming hand!!!! I have a stack of 20 odd books here that belong to the school. I didn't even know they had all these! I went to check Miss A's room and she pipes up "There is no school books in there mum"... No, except this one, and this one, and this one, and this one..... No appreciation, no respect. I would normally ask where I went wrong but I can clearly remember a time when these kids had both + Manners. *sigh*
This is excellent - good on you. I have also lately been thinking about how my parents or even my grandparents would deal with DSD's behaviour and almost posted a thread called "Is it time to return to 1950s parenting style".
Oh you poor thing, the only way you can 'hit em where it hurts' is by taking away TV, laptops, DS, PSP's and any other luxury things they take for granted. My DD is 8 next week, and that is how we discipline her!
Good luck, I hope DD doesnt give you too much grief, welcome to the teenage years I've often heard my mother say
This is absolutely fantastic and I applaud you for doing it
We are a relatively technology-free home. We have the tv and computer, but that's about it. DH & I hate video games, we've never owned one, never intend on owning one either. I'm surprised the amount of friends DD1 has that already have kids computers (at the age of 3!).
I figured we grew up without the need of it all, and we turned out alright I'm sure our kids will too.
Well done, I admire your resolve. I predict the whinging will get worse before it gets better . But I"m sure it *will* get better. I look forward to hearing how the week unfolds.
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Lack of appreciation reached breaking point...
That is an ace way to put your point across. Best of luck with it, I really hope it gets the results you're looking for! Keep us posted, please!
You're a good mum.
Oh you poor thing, the only way you can 'hit em where it hurts' is by taking away TV, laptops, DS, PSP's and any other luxury things they take for granted. My DD is 8 next week, and that is how we discipline her!
Will be watching to see how you go. I think I have a few kids in need of the same
I'm sure our kids will too.
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