My little brother (DB) is nearly 8yrs old and has just started acting up in the last few months... when we ask him to go to bed/brush his teeth/shower etc in the evening he starts with this 'I'm scared' stuff and won't do what he's told without crying all the way through it or insisting that someone comes and stands with him while he does it. This has extended to sleeping in Mum's bed at night and it's just getting ridiculous now.
He's started talking about monsters and stuff and he's never been scared before... We've assured him that EVEN if monsters existed - which they don't - there's NO WAY they could possibly get in the house - it's locked up tight!
We're pretty sure he's putting it on because he spends a few nights a week at his dad's and according to him, DB doesn't complain of being scared and sleeps the night through in his own bed without a problem. He even leaves him in the house alone for short periods without any complaints. DB has tried getting us to leave him at our house alone when he doesn't want to come shopping or something boring, but we won't (this tells me though that he's not really scared to be alone).
So I'm pretty sure he's just procrastinating but it makes me so mad, and it's just getting more ridiculous as the days go by... He whines and cries and acts like he's petrified, so we feel horrible making him do it alone - is there a better solution?? What we're doing obviously isn't working, hand-holding and tough love have BOTH had absolutely no effect - and it's just getting worse!!
To me it sounds like he wants your attention and this is his way of going about it. Maybe you just need to 'trick' him. Before asking him to brush his teeth get him to pick a book that you will read to him after he brushes his teeth. If he doesn't brush them by himself the book doesn't get read. When he does make a big deal of it and read the book (doing all the funny voices )as a reward for doing what you have asked of him. Make it fun and exciting for him so he wants to brush his teeth every night.
As for monstsers, some kids really do believe they exist. Put some Lavendar oil into a spray bottle of water to make monster spray. When he gets scared all he has to do is spray it at the monsters. So maybe spray the bathroom before he goes in there to brush his teeth and his bedroom before he goes to bed etc.
Just thinking... hmm... how can you reward the behaviour you want him to repeat?
You could reward him for being brave... and keep trying to ignore the behaviour if you honestly belive he is putting it on. Perhaps even explain to him that you know he isn't scared at his dad's place, and (again, assuming he IS putting it on) that you won't tolerate game playing?
Sorry, I don't have any experience, I just didn't want your thread to go unanswered .
Nice to meet you today too, I hope the nappies didn't overwhealm you.
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HELP - is this real fear or procrastination?
)as a reward for doing what you have asked of him. Make it fun and exciting for him so he wants to brush his teeth every night.
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