Thanks MM! And yes, you are a living marvel, lol.

Maruschke: No, not at all. Im definitely in the same boat as you, wanting to be hopeful but also very guarded so as to not get hurt when it inevitably turns to you know what. I think im just trying to find ways to keep my hopes up this cycle instead of being pessimistic because everyone says positivity is the key!
Ahh when you find out how, let me know . I've given up on the positivity thing :/.