Thank you ALL from the bottom of my heart as i couldn't think of a nicer group of ladies to tell me so ... I'm starting to feel better, i just think ' some ' of my emotions are the onset of my going through a heartbreaking transition at present in coming to terms of no more bubba's for us ... It weighs on my heart extremely heavy every hour of the day & in that happening i'm desperately hanging onto any ounce of the baby left if any in my little girl. I couldn't imagine it ' not ' being a natural reaction of a woman in my position. But i'm getting through it day by day & hope that my DD will one day when older understand i did MY best in TRYING to give her the gift of a sibling ... Not bad considering TODAY i turned exactly 43 & a half !!

Thank you again everyone ... and YES you all are right that i have to learn to look forward to the growing moments in my precious DD & learn to actually enjoy it & NOT dwell on what i will miss

Hugs to you all xox