I went to get DS1 from Occasional Daycare today. I snuck in because for the last few times he's been a bit unhappy about me leaving him there. Not crying, but just not wanting me to leave. So i snuck in to see how he was and I just stood watching him. He was walking past another 'regular' boy who is a similar age (and size) and this boy shoved him in the chest. DS1 paused, then shoved back. So the other boy shoved back. And DS1 shoved again. And got caught!
Now i really like the ladies there and the one who noticed it handled it well. The only thing was it wasn't DS1 who should have been told off and made to apologise.
Now, I figure that this sort of thing must happen all the time and it's just life. DS1 will see injustices far worse than this! But i mentioned it to my sister and she felt i should have corrected the carer.
What do you think?
Next time you drop him off, I would have a chat to the carer and mention what you saw. Given that he has been unhappy about you leaving him there, I would also mention to the carer that you are concerned this may be happening often as your DS1 is unhappy about you leaving him and could they keep an eye on him.
As a Mum, it is so hard not to react when we see these things. Like you have done, it's worth thinking about what you want to say rather than react immeadiately in the heat of the moment
I would have corrected. Well, no, not corrected, but enlightened. Both kids should have been spoken to, not just your DS. As a carer, I would love to have known what you saw. But knowing that, I'd still talk to both kids, because shoving is not OK, no matter what anyone else does to you.
I think you should talk to his carers, about this, and also more generally about how he's going. Maybe he just wants his mummy, but maybe there's something else going on.
I know DS gernally loves his daycare, but recently has been a bit down about it. I discovered that a few of the boys that he liked playing with have moved up to kindy room. He wants to go too, poor thing.
Ok, so I would be lying if i said that my first reaction wasn't to jump in and cry 'no, no, stop pushing my little boy'. But thankfully i took a breath.
I will bring it up when i go back. I have already asked about his reluctance for me to leave and they said he is fine once i'm gone - but I'm not 100% convinced. He might seem fine to them, but i'd hate it if he was sad. It's only 3 hour hours and it's my only break from him all week, but it's not worth it if he's unhappy.
I am so mean to other kids who hurt mine! I can't help myself, i give them a very stern look and say 'stop that, that is very mean- go away!', and then feel bad about it for the next few days because they are just little kids! Mummy instinct kicks in to quickly and fierce to stop myself usually. Well done on being able to stop yourself!
I don't know what i would have done about telling the carer, but i wanted to say my DD has been practicing saying "NO, i don't like that" with a big voice and holding her hand out in front. I think they must be learning this at childcare at the moment. I would recommend you try and teach your son this as i think its a good way to tell the other child to stop without resorting to pushing back, but also to get the teachers attention that the other child has done something so your child isn't the one always getting into trouble.
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DS getting shoved - what would you have done
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