Do you talk to your child about it?

[~clover~]

Its DS's day care day today.
I'm a mum who tells the kids everything thats happening. I talk to him all about it all the time.
He wants to go, but is crying about me staying with him. I told him I'll just sit in the car out the front & wait while he does some paintings. He's crying that he wants to sit in the car too.
Its only been about 5 weeks, one day a week, & he's crying less while there, but I hate the distress before he goes.
He really doesn't mind it there. He's not socialising yet. He's very shy. But last week there were only tears on drop off & pick up. NOT through the day!

WWYD, WDYD?
Do you talk about it? Try to get them all happy & excited about it?
Or just pull in the driveway & spring it on them?

[~StarBright~]

I have battled with this exact problem!! I found telling him in the morning made him cranky and not want to get ready!! So i would get all his stuff ready the night before and i would tell him we were going to the shop.. (which is next to day care) once in the car, i would say "after the shop its time for care!" and we would go to the shop and get something milk, the paper, whatever i could think of that we needed that day, and then we would go to care.

DS cried alot for about two months. Then just as he was starting to get better, they had xmas break where he ended up with a three week break, and when we went back, it started all over again.

He also just goes one day a week, and he is happy to go there, as long as i am coming too. So when he started to ask if i was coming to care, i would say "yes" mummy is coming to put your lunch in the fridge, and put your blankie in your sleeping room and put your hat in your shelf. Then mummy has to go , but mummy will be back."

So out of that he got that yes, mummy is coming and most importantly once mummy goes, SHE WILL COME BACK!!!!!

Now he is doing great!! I can tell him now in the morning its Care day and he is happy to get ready. He walks in now and we both put his things away (or sometimes he just heads right in to play) and he waves and says See ya!! and he is fine!! But it took a long time, and the thing that worked the most was constantly telling him that "i will always come back" He even tells the carers now, My mummy is coming back soon!"

Also i would tell him that when i come to get him we will do something special, sometimes if i am walking it means getting an icy pole from the shop on the way home, or going to the "big shops" or something for him to look forward to!!

Its hard, but it does get easier once they adjust!!!! I dont even have to go to the shop first anymore!!!!

[Danielle_NZ]

I prepared my son the night before, we'd drive past it often and I'd say "bye daycare, see you tomorrow" or "bye daycare, see you Monday" so he's aware it's there, he knows he doesn't go there ALL the time.

I tell him what we are going to do after daycare or the next day.

[~clover~]

He went today
He turned it on the second we pulled in the driveway, but when I carried him in he didn't really fight.
He cried & said no, but they took him & he let them
He'd forgotten about me before he got through the next door!!!!!

[~Jayne~]

I always tell my kids what's happening. I like to prepare myself for the onslaught (if there's going to be one, lol).
FWIW I think it's a good thing you tell him about it. It prepares him for it & it's not a surprise when you pull into the driveway. If you spring it on him I'd think that he would end up being anxious going places JIC you were taking him 'THERE' again.
I found my girls didn't adjust to daycare that well only going one day per week. Claudia went 2 days per week towards the end as I was preparing her for school in Qingdao which is 5 full days & I found she adjusted better going twice per week. She tended to remember more of it & made more friends - I know that is possibly not an option, but it's just what I found.
Also, I always talk it up. 'Mummy wishes there were daycares for grown ups, I'd love to be painting & playing in the sandpit & eating fruit at a table with all my friends', that kinda thing.
Good luck! But it seems he is adjusting after your latest post!

[minniemouse]

clover: my ds is the same age as yours, he has been going to daycare one day a week since last may and is only just getting better when i leave him, we talk about him going, how much fun he has, the girls there took pictures of him doing activities that we took home and would show him during the week showing him all the fun he has there (he is fine after the initial upset).

but i still hear all morning about how he doesn't want to go, i want to stay with you mum, can't you come and look after to me there etc it has been really hard for me to deal with as my DD who is 5 never shed one tear but i continue to do it because it is good for him and i know he has fun once he settles down