totally paranoid about putting DD in daycare fulltime!

[tattoo_mama]

Im going to TAFE to study nursing and its a full time 18 month course. DD is currently 9 months old and the course either has a mid yr 2010 intake or start of 2011.

If i choose mid yr DD will be 14 months old when entering daycare, if i wait til jan next yr she will be 20 months old... what do you think is a better age?


im absolutely paranoid that they will stuff up her routine and ill come home from studying to have her up all night, or that something terrible will happen to her at daycare, or they will leave her to scream.

looks like she will be in daycare 4 or 5 days a week as XP will *hopefully* have a job by then.

Im inclined more towards FDC as her routine changes daily depending on what time she wakes up, and is also doing baby-led solids.

im really confused and scared to the point im considering not studying at all cause im so worried they will stuff her up or neglect her!!! please help !

[mrscricket]

TM - While I can't speak from personal experience about full time care, I can tell you about how I felt about DS's daycare although he is older than your DD. He originally went in the Nov/Dec of 2008 so he was about 18 months. He coped really well with it. His room was lovely - a nice mix of littles that didn't interact with each other that much but had a great time playing with all the toys etc. I had the hard time leaving him because I felt like he was just so little and like you, if something happened, how would he make it be known or stand up for himself etc.
Due to my work hours changing, he then didn't go back to daycare again until Dec 2009, so 2 and a half. This time it was a bit of role reversal - I felt better at leaving him there - he was more independant, eating well, and felt that he needed time with other kids besides our mum's group. He was more hesitant at being left - although now he has fitted in well and has lots of stories to tell when he comes home

I'm not sure that there is a 'better' age for the child, maybe just a 'better age' for mummy. It is fantastic that you are starting a course! You probably need to decide how you feel about the course - do you want to jump right into it or are you ok with waiting?

Children are adaptable in most situations. If it was me, I would probably try to start her a few weeks before you start your course just to give her time to adjust and setle in.It is inevitable that she will go to daycare so you can do the course, so you need to find the right FDC or centre for you. We pay these people to care for our child so issues of her being neglected should never come into it iykwim. I am totally confortable with DS's centre - I know the girls love him and have a great routine. I had a friend who recently decided that FDC was for them, but they met with 4 different families before they met the one that 'felt right'. I strongly encourage you to look around and find a great fit so you don't have to worry, and feel at ease while you are at school. Ask heaps of questions etc. I sent DS to daycare with a huge list on what he liked, the routine I wanted etc. Initally I was worried I was being a overbearing mother but it made me feel better. I'd rather they had too much information on what makes him happy, rather than not enough. My daycare is good too - each day they write down what was eaten, times they slept, how many dirty nappies etc and I love that because then I know what happened during his day!

Good luck with your course and the decision that you make

[tattoo_mama]

thanks hun, only i cant afford to send her earlier (thru JET i will get free day care as i will be a single mum studying) so i dont have the luxury of sending her to 'test the waters' (i dont even have enough spare to try her out one day a week)

[onthefly]

Are you looking around already for the right place? One of the most important things is feeling really comfortable and happy with the day care place and with the staff there.
The good ones have long waiting lists too, so it's worth planning well in advance.

Age-wise, it really depends on the child. I know at 15 months DS was not ready, but some seem to be fine at that age.

As much as possible they will follow your routines and respect your parenting preferences. If you are able to spend some time at the centre before leaving your DD it'll give you a chance to see the staff in action and reassure you that they will care for her in a way you're happy with.

[Floweryfields]

Just so you know, it won't be totally free - jet parents contribute a set amount an hour, I think it's only about 10cents or something like that. I have a jet parent who pays about $8.50 for two children to attend 4 days a week. It's not much, but you will have to contribute something. Also if you are a single mum, you should be elligable for 100% - which means it would only cost you about $10 for a day of care, maybe less if you wanted to do one day a week to get her settled.

[tattoo_mama]

ausgirl - i thought i could only get free (well yes apart from the 10c per hour) daycare if im studying...so to have her in for a week to try it out would cost me full fees?

and yeah i thiiink i can afford $5 a week to have her in daycare lol

[tattoo_mama]

i did the centrelink online calc thingy, and if i were to take her to try it out before studying it looks like i get child care benefit but not CCR...so id be paying half the normal 'full' fees... so even a day a week at $40 which is half fees i cant afford

[Floweryfields]

Tattoo - everyone gets a percentage based on their income. To qualify for the maximum rebate you need to earn less than about $34000 per annum. Did the online thingy give you a percentage?? If so what was it?? This is regardless of your work situation, study, whatever. Single mums who aren't working qualify for maximum rebate. You won't get the extra jet amount paid until you are studying. This jet is additional to your CCB - not absolutely sure, but in my experience all jet parents are on maximum rebate.
Are you working? If not you should get full CCB. Not sure what the CCR you are referring to is - but if you mean the 50% rebate, to get this, yes you must pass the work/study test. But this is only half of what you are already paying the centre. So a working parent paying say $40/day gets $20 of this back - a non working parent on full CCB doesn't pay much anyway.
Single non working mums at my centre get 100% and therefore pay about $9.50/day in our babies room. Our full fee is almost $60.
Sorry, I am not familiar with your background so maybe you are working and have a higher income. Not sure any of this is helping you at all!

[tattoo_mama]

ausgirl, thanks for the info! i am a single non working mum (well i sell some jewelry that i make but it isnt a registered business) and will be a single studying mum when i apply for JET. i will have to go to centrelink and ask someone about it cause i was really confused by the online thing!!

doesnt make much sense that working mums pay more than non working mums, yes theyre making more money but they should get it cheaper than someone who isnt working? thats just my opinion i guess!
but if it is quite cheap like $10 a day i could put her in 1 maybe 2 days a week for a month to try it out...any idea how long FDC waiting lists are? i havent had the chance to call around yet, thanks!

[Pandora]

WRT CCR - you dont get the 50% as reduced fees, you get is quartly as a refund of your out of pocket expenses.

Emma, my older son was in daycare from 5months, 3 days a week. TBH, I found his routines in general significantly improved. He certainly slept and behaved (and still does) better at daycare than he does at home.

[Floweryfields]

ausgirl, thanks for the info! i am a single non working mum (well i sell some jewelry that i make but it isnt a registered business) and will be a single studying mum when i apply for JET. i will have to go to centrelink and ask someone about it cause i was really confused by the online thing!!

doesnt make much sense that working mums pay more than non working mums, yes theyre making more money but they should get it cheaper than someone who isnt working? thats just my opinion i guess!
but if it is quite cheap like $10 a day i could put her in 1 maybe 2 days a week for a month to try it out...any idea how long FDC waiting lists are? i havent had the chance to call around yet, thanks!

Yeah I know, it doesn't make sense hey, you're kinda penalised for working in a way.

[mrsmac]

DS has been in FDC since 8 months and really settled well, they kept up with the way i did things and he got more attention as he was the only bub under 1 yr when he was little.
I love FDC and will sing its praises for hours but I am lucky and have an awesome carer.

[tattoo_mama]

well i went and checked out an FDC today, its the only one in my area with a spot, all the other ones will only take babies over 18 months which sucks! seems nice, the lady is relaxed and nice but i was abit worried cause the kids (all girls) are 12 months, 2.5 yrs and 3.5 yrs and seemed pretty rough and tumble (but maybe all kids are like that) ive had no exposure to other kids especially seeing them interact so im not sure if this is ok?

[mrsmac]

I think thats what I like about FDC is that it mimics real life in a family situation. My DS has been in since 8 months so has moved from being the baby to one of the big kids without any harm but I am much more relaxed as he is my 3rd child not my 1st.
You need to go with you gut but older girls are usually not as rough as older boys.

[tattoo_mama]

well thats just greaaaatttt

the FDc carer rings me today and says "oh i forgot, i do have a little boy from after school tuesdays so if you want her here tuesdays youll have to pick her up by 3pm... um well 8am to 3pm is hardly worth the effort... sigh!!!!!

she gave me the number of another FDC who *might* have a spot, otherwise it looks like normal CC for bubs