feeling really sad and so embaressed 4yr old not want to come home :(

[1pj]

My daughter started kindy last week shes going to go two days a week but only had her second day this week because of the holiday last week,well both times ive gone to pick her up shes been awful doesnt want to come home,screams and crys that she doesnt want to go home as soon as she sees me and then runs off i cant grab her or reason with her then she hides in play things and wont come out,i can only imagine what the kindy teachers think!!that i must be the worlds worst mum if my child wants to stay there!! i dont know what to do is there anyone out there PLEASE who has had this i feel im the only one most kids dont want to go!!!Shes a very bright child and ive been told for years i should have her in some sort of care as she needs and loves interaction with other kids and learning and things but she just turns 4 tomorrow and im a stay at home mum so one we couldnt afford and call us old fashioned but we sort of well i dont work so am home to look after the kids sort of thing,so shes long over due needing something but i never imagined this!!she used to cry leaving places(that awful stage)when she was around 2 etc like they all go threw but now for at least a year she never has she just knows thats it and you can reason with them etc more but i couldnt even reason with her !!another thing is already ive noticed the horrible traits coming out shes been really rough with her brother hands around his neck and just a different child!!its only been 2 days!!she always been such an innocent sort of thing please tell me it will get better!!I also think since theres a seperate daycare you can leave them longer where as we just want the kindy hours so other kids arent leaving the same time and she cant understand why she has to go home but others arent but i dont want to leave her longer

[Catastrophic]

Naw don't feel like the worlds worst mum - you totally don't for that criteria based on what you described. I think it's probably all just a little new and exciting.

It will settle and she will get into a routine

[Phteven]

No. You're not the world's worst Mum. You're the world's best Mum because you have raised a little girl who is so confident and inquisitive that she loves learning and new experiences and doesn't want it to be over.

My boys have wanted to stay at various places over the years. They outgrow it.

[Floweryfields]

Don't feel bad, I see this all the time! It's not a reflection of you at all - in fact I see it as a very positive thing, you have raised your child to feel so comfortable and confident in new situations that they don't feel that seperation anxiety that others might.
Don't worry about the staff, we don't sit there thinking, 'gee she must be the worlds worst mother because she doesn't want to go home' at all! It's all very new for her and so exciting and that's why she just wants to stay.

Not wanting to come home with you is much better to not wanting to stay and crying in the mornings!

[HotI]

oh you poor thing. My DD hasn't done it at kinder yet (only the first day!), but we have had wailing and thrashing upon leaving friend's places, and it just feels horrible.

Maybe the staff could prepare her a bit more that she will have to leave soon. I know having more time for transition helps my little one.

[Little Chicken]

My DD does this all the time so don't feel bad. She loves It there and I don't have all the fantastic play equipment like they have.

[LizLemon]

No. You're not the world's worst Mum. You're the world's best Mum because you have raised a little girl who is so confident and inquisitive that she loves learning and new experiences and doesn't want it to be over.

Yep that.

I see it as a very good sign that she is enjoying it so much. And the teacher probably is a bit chuffed as it means she is creating a good environment.

[Dollyroux]

My almost Ms4 does this. It is tiring, embarrassing and frustrating - I hear you! What might help is a little bribe - c'mon lets go see the suprise I got you in the car (m&m biscuit or whatever) or lets go home so we can do *exciting thing*/ see *exciting person*. It sometimes helps me! Good luck, you're not a bad mum at all!

[wysiwyg]

We have this issue (DD won't leave childcare before they dish out crackers - and sometimes depending on what they are doing not even then) - something exciting at home often helps (today was bedtime storytime at library and we even got to leave before crackers so it must be exciting!) - sometimes the exciting person is DH, sometimes is grandma on Skype (often by time we get home she has forgotten - is just getting her enthusiastic about something it seems). We have the problem getting out the car too and the car is a long way from front door - so this is a pain in the neck as DS is running off down the road and she is sat in car pretending to be asleep ("I want to stay in car all day!" etc etc) - anyway now we are giving her 10 cents everytime she gets out without a fuss, and taking away 10 cents if she makes a fuss - she wants the money to buy icecream - so far it is working.

Definitely not a bad mum, have seen it happen at childcare to quite a few people. If you think about it as an adult - often you are places and don't want to leave - but it doesn't mean you don't like where you are going to is just that are enjoying where you are - they are just the same but just a bit more extreme in displaying it.

[krysalyss]

Yeah we get this. DS is now at school but twice a week he goes to after school care. If I dare to pick him up before they get to go in the little kids section he gets really upset. On a few occasions he has asked me to pick him up early and then when I rock up he gets really angry and cries because he is having too much fun! I ended up extending his time. It gives me more time for work anyway so I don't mind and he is an only child so I figure any play time with other kids is good.

[trishalishous]

DD has to be bribed to leave Daycare. Im just glad that she loves to be there!

[Nai]

I used to do this! My mum couldn't get me to leave and it wasn't that I didn't want to go with her, I just wanted to stay having fun! I think it's great that she is enjoying it so much and I can guarantee she will grow out of it.