cmkm, that is terrible!! What extra work is involved seriously in including your DD! FWIW, I would invite her in a heartbeat as I am sure you would be able to guide a parent as to what needs to be done to include your DD. I hope you find some more reasonable people in your community as your DD makes her way through school.

As for $$ I aim for about $10-15 for general friends and $20-30 for close friends. I try to get activity based presents, something for the birthday child to do at a later time like a sticker book, craft activity, bead set etc.

I also buy ahead when possible and keep a present stash, although if I know the child well and have an idea of their likes etc I might buy something less generic and go for something they would like or that relates to their interests.