Do cloth nappies complicate your life?

i think this is more about your dh's attitude.

it's a symptom of a deeper problem.

i do worry that once you have sold the MCN, he will just find something else to grizzle about, and not do.

i think if you become a parent, dealign with your baby's poo, is part of being a parent. being a parent is not just about the easy, fun parts of hacving a bub.

I also think it's an expensive change to a family's budget.

I can see that you are trying to find a compromise, trying to do what you see as keeping the peace.

even when i leave my dh (who is pro-cloth, uses the LS no worries, washes MCN just fine) and i have to do it all myself, we'll be staying with MCN.

obviously i'm in the minority, most people are just saying to you "go for it", but this is my opinion (as jaded as i am, about to leave my dh).

I'm sure i read your post recently about your dh staying out late drinking, without letting your know and being irresponsible, just before xmas, and i really felt for you, having to put up with such an unsupportive partner. and that had nothing to do with nappies. just his attitude as a "family man".

i don't think he deserves someone as nice as you, Pink.

pp - oh babe ! :hug:

i must say i completely agree with gigi - i think this is the surface prob iykwim xoxoxox

Gigi -
I am making a compromise.
I am going to keep the BBB fitteds and sell everything else.
Have sposies for him to use and fitteds for me during the day.

I know it isnt about nappies - i have said that before and we will sort it out, but reducing the little issues is just a way to move towards fixing the biggers ones iykwim?

so as my gesture of meeting half way this is what i think i should do :)

that's exactly what worries me Pink, YOU doing all the compromising.
(i did read your post that you were going to keep the fitteds).

i worry he takes advantage of your good nature.

you try SO hard to make it all work, with so many good intentions, but no-one person make the marriage work, all by themselves, it takes two people to make it work.

i think you are a saint Pink, for waht you hafe to put up wiht.

Oh my god - do cloth nappies complicate my life....

They used to. In fact I think DH and I were heading down a very sad road but I was heavily into cloth with the store and advocacy and everything else. The nappies themselves nope but I have A LOT! I also used disposables at night a lot of the time so they are there if I'm feeling lazy. I also use the dryer if I'm feeling lazy or it's too darn hot to be hanging out lots of washing.

As for not using them, as others have said, give yourself a break and see how you go - I personally can't do it, the guilt over using them and everything I've learnt about disposables - I just can't use them full-time. Not to mention DD skin starts to react after a day or 2 in full time sposies.

BTW - my Dh has nothing to do with nappies - he will change one if I ask and bring him nappies, wipes and baby but I then have to pick up everything and clean it :-)

OK I just finished reading the rest of the thread! I completely understand the compromise sometimes we have to do these things and in a way I understnd where Gigi is coming from but in an effort not to sound like my grandma I have often given up my things for the sake of my marriage and it has been all the better for it. I think the point is are you giving them up and happy about it too - somewhere just a little - cause if not it's going to become a grudge point between you for a long time.

Coth nappies and complications - no. Not at all. I don't have to remember them at the shops. When we used chemical nappies at night I was forever running out. At least if I think "oh no, only an AIO left to use because I'm out of covers!" it's just a washing machine away. Also, I blame cloth for DS wanting to toilet train and knowing when he's going to wee.

Cloth nappies and DH. At first, yes. He hated the poo thing. He "couldn't" change a cloth nappy, he "didn't know how". He didn't know how to fold or put a nappy together. In fact, I still do all the folding! But then, all of a sudden he and DS have their favourite type of nappy and favourite type of liner, he can put a nappy together, he has opinions on which nappies suit DS the best!

My only gripes are that DH doesn't flush the poo properly (only from the liner and not if it goes on the cover or the nappy) and he always puts a clean re-usable cover in the nappy bin. DH now has no gripes - although I had to make my case for the initial spend. I know when he starts going on about the smell in the bathroom from the nappies then he's getting grumpy about night-time wakings or toys all over the house. Sadly, there's not much I can do about that.

TBH I always found when we were using sposies we fought more. DH often squirts the poo for me and hangs them out because he doesn't get sunburnt as easily. He has suggested using the dryer regularly because of the softening effect it has.

There are way more things he could whinge about, BB is the thing he whinges about most, but lately it has been the xbox for him so he hasn't been as annoyed about things because he is having some time to do things he likes.

I am concerned that his issue was the cost of each nappy and that going to sposies will intensify this concern for him. This is the biggest issue DH has, and he has learned that if he does his bit and takes care of them properly, I will spend less on them. He has this issue with lots of things with lifetime guarantees, to which my response now is, well if you take care of it properly I will only pay that once! It has also taught him to look after his belongings better.

There will always be something that irks him when he is the way he has been recently. Many people when they feel insecure in themselves will try to make someone else take it away from them, by making them feel insecure. I hope you can get to the bottom of the issues without having to lose your interests hun.

Thanks girls
I am happy to compromise (and a lot of girls seem happy to take my nappies off my hands HAHA!)

DH has been a lot more attentive and helpful the past 2 days :) i mean he is always helpful with the kids but i always knew cloth wasnt his style. He let me indulge as i was so excited about it.
His main reason for me to get sposies was he thought i spent too much time washing, drying and folding them with 2 in cloth. and he wanted me to get out of the house and spend more time doing things that were different and i could enjoy. rather than housework.

I have 24 nappies left which i am using during the days :). Went out yesterday and i bought 2 bulk sposies... weird everytime i went to put one on i was a little sad (ie overnight).

I am more deteremined than ever now to TT DD lol.... :)

Cloth nappies didn't complicate my life at all :) Starting out using flannel flats, then terries, then PeaPods. DP was the one advocating cloths, because I fell for the propaganda about sposies and cloths having the same environmental impact. Luckily, by the time the sposie recycling service had ceased, DP had talked me into cloths and was doing most of the washing for months. When we switched to terries he was working by then and I was doing ALL the folding (when he'd previously been doing most of it) and I got really sick of that, so told him I was going MCN. At first he objected to the cost and I cracked it saying that as I was the one folding the terries and finding less and less time to study, he could bite me, I was going to buy the MCN's! No argument from him ever since ;)
Like RH, I think they have a lot to do with DS being out of nappies, even at night now.
They also made me more attentive to DS's toileting because even with the PeaPods and their absorbency, I didn't like to leave him in them when they got wet, so he got used to liking the dry and light feeling. Also reduces smells out of sight.
If little things aggravate your DH, is the significant added cost not going to eventually niggle at him, with budgeting? You asked if we'd still use them if sposies cos the same. Sposies will never cost the same as cloth. The manufacture of sposies costs us more in water and paper than every mother using and washing their own cloths. Reusing cloth nappies means it costs far less in environmental degradation at landfills (add to that the sheer volume of people who are completely ignorant of the law and throw away the poo!). Lastly, the fact that you are reusing something you bought means they will never, monetarily, cost as much as sposies. That's why I could never use sposies for more than emergencies and certain occasions. Same with DP, because we share similar values...and therein lies a difference - we're not having fundamental issues because we respect and share the core values we each hold.
Then again, my perspective is skewed because I have decided that to further uncomplicate my life, our next baby will be the subject of my Natural Infant Hygiene project (Elimination Communication)! There's not much from my experience with DS that I'd change, but the next will be a homebirth pregnancy and the baby won't have to put in his or her own pants :)
Good luck with your compromise and how long the peace lasts. I hope that the MCN's really were a major sticking point in the relationship because now that it's not as big in your child-rearing lives, you can move on. Otherwise, :hug: and I hope you can get some compromises from DH to demonstrate his own committment to the relationship in turn. That would just be a nice touch.

The cost is definately not an issue.
DH would rather happiness and peace than money. He is the one that says 'even if it costs more - it isnt worth it if you arent happy".

The money wasnt the reason we went to cloth. I really wanted to try them, liked the thought and how they felt on dd's bottom.

today we are having an UNDIE day lol... and using the toliet a lot more (have been slack lol)... and DS is in BBB fitteds lol.

Elimination communication sounds great, as far as we go is we verbalise everytime DS or DD does something so they realise :)

And good luck if you have a homebirth. I did with DS and i highly recommend it! :)

Pink - two websites TRIBAL BABY, and NOONEE WILGA ahve lots of good stuff to read on EC-ing.

i think there is also a yahoo group on ozclothnappies, called Nappy free, or something like that, where people share hints.

GL with the tt-ing/ec-ing -:dance: