should i give up breastfeeding?

[guccibabe]

Hi all
I have a sticky situation..i have a 9 week old boy that is very colicky/perhaps silent reflux and although he seems to have improved over the past few weeks the last few days since my mum has arrived and he had his vaccinations he seems to have gone bad again. He seems in pain after feeds and grumpy ..not sleeping or feeding well.. pulls off the boob if he has belly ache etc. etc. Anyway, my mum thinks its my milk (I have been breastfeeding exclusively since birth) and that I should try Soy. I have tried cutting the dairy out of my diet..cranial osteopathy ..not a huge improvement everything seems to make him very windy and therefore in pain as he will scream. I am just so determined to keep up the breast feeding as I know what the wonderful advantages are.. but don't want my little man to be in pain anymore. Maybe I should wait until 12 weeks when most babies grow out of it I just don't know. My mum is very determined for me to put him on soy formular and try it for 24 hours.. i just don't know?? It would break my heart! Has anyone had the same experience and can comment
Much appreciated!!

[~Saram~]

Firstly I want to congratulate you on BF, it is really hard especially when bub doesn't want to cooperate. Don't give up feeding! You know that your milk and BF is best, sometimes it is harder for older generations to understand this. Have you tried Brauer colic remedy avail from chemists - it's in a purple bottle and is a homeopatic remedy - it is magic. Please stick with feeding, just take it nice and slow. If it is becoming to stressful try pumping and putting it in a bottle, remember when you are uptight bub is uptight.

How is your letdown, is it maybe to fast? Have you tried expressing a little before feeding. Is it too slow - make sure you drink heaps of water and RELAX :-)

Other food that can make BF hard are things like chocolate, some veges like brocoli and cabbage. I once had to reduce my diet down to bread and cereals and slowly introduce them back - turns out it was the soap I was using (DS didn't like the smell :-) Bubs are funny like that. I wish you all the luck in the world and remeber you are doing a GREAT JOB

[BellyBelly]

I'd definitely get a second opinion before trying the soy. I think I heard somewhere that soy is not as good for boy babies than girls also? Anyway, if he has an upset tummy, breastmilk is much more easily digested than formula, and it may be some reflux from an immature gut, which they grow out of. It's hard to tell, but he's also a very young bub and they go through lots of unsettled periods, especially after vaccinations. He could be just feeling miserable from that.

It could be one of many things but please get another opinion first, as you know, once you stop breastfeeding you can't go back, which can be disappointing if you find out the problem was something simple that would be no different no matter how you feed him. Caffeine is a big trigger for bubs too, but given he's had vaccinations lately, it may be that. Hang in there, perhaps try wrapping or carrying him more (Hug-A-Bubs are GREAT) and even something soothing like baby massage. Babies do go through lots of spurts of unsettled behaviour and it's common to doubt our abilities or decisions as a parent. The trick is to get the right advice, some MCHN's will suggest forumla sometimes and so will some doctors - maybe you could even call the ABA for help. But definitely seek help especially if it could be a medical problem, which formula is not going to fix, nor will it soothe his vaccination blues!

[Rouge]

NO don't do it! Get a second opinion! Paris was the same and I wish I hadn't taken the paed's advice and gone on soy. Yes it was hard as I had overactive letdown (fast milk flow) which caused the tummy aches, as well as she had reflux etc but I look back now after doing it all with my second baby I wish I knew then what I know now. Soy caused severe eczema in Paris I'm certain of it, she had it mild until we had the soy formula then it went bezerk. Not fun. Especially when you practically have to bandage her legs and arms to prevent her from scratching herself raw.

I hope I don't sound full on, I just know what its like to be in your position and I know how I felt afterwards too...

*hugs*
Cailin

[guccibabe]

hummmm yes.. maybe it is the fast let down? so should I try to express first? and maybe casue i have been eating a bit more choccies lately? It's so tough and makes me feel like im not doing a good job..with bub always upset.. Have tried brauers colic and stomach calm which I give him still don't know if it helps? also.. should I try to get some sort of routine like the book "no cry sleep solution" i have heard this can help bub settle? Ahh what to do.

[BellyBelly]

An even better book is coming out on July 3rd if you want to focus on the sleep. It's called Sleeping Like a Baby by Pinky McKay. It's great, I have a forward copy and I am thoroughly enjoying it. But what is the main thing that is bothering you at the moment, is it his crying? Is it the lack of his / your sleep? You have to take small steps and work on one thing at once or it can get too overwhelming.

Cut back on the chocolates, coffee - caffeine in general and eliminate things one by one or you wont know what it is. Like I say, it could even be due to his immunisations or he could just be going through one of those unsettled stages that they do throughout their life. Hang in there, remember this too will pass and seek advice before changing anything. If it gets too much and you are stressed, seek support - have your partner take him so you can have some time out or even a post natal doula. You are doing a GREAT job, obviously you cared enough to post here and ask and you are questioning what someone is telling you to do that doesn't feel right. Your little boy is very lucky

[guccibabe]

Thank you for your kind words!!!.. I guess my main concern is seeing him seem in pain/crying. And of course some more sleep would be wonderful!
He just seems so tired but when he sleeps during the day wakes up as if in pain. He is sleeping atm and has been for a few hours which kinda conerns me because, i am not, and I hope this doesnt mean he will be up all night! ahh. No it will be fine. I guess the exhaustion does take over and when others are giving you there opinion like "dont worry babies cry" it can be a little disheartening! will try to keep up the BF as it is what feels right and hope that he simply "grows out of it" maybe I will try the Bruaers colic relief again also as I have been using the stomach calm. Thanks for the advice!!

[christy]

Hi I'll just give you some of my story... Matilda used to scream from 6-8 hours nightly. She was diagnosed at 6 weeks with silent reflux & we started medicating her. At 4 months I was a walking misery with continuing to bf every 2 hours and I was pretty distraught. I had heaps of people tell me to go to the bottle & I started comping one feed at night with a special reflux formula from 10 weeks and then at 4 months I increased her formula intake & slowly lost my milk. It took 6 weeks for it to happen. It made no difference to her feeding/settling/pain. We started the night feeds with the special formula but later found out you can buy thickening agents to add to EBM for night feeds if you are tired & can have someone give you a break to help you sleep.

I was so exhausted and frustrated with the pain reactions and the same things people told me, "babies cry" and that it was all normal.

After I bf finished around a month later I was hit hard because of feeling so sad about finishing bf. I had planned extended breastfeeding, I wanted to continue, and I was angry & upset that I listened to others in making the decision out of tiredness.

How are you at expressing? Maybe buy some of the karicare thickener and try that with EBM for a bottle at night so you can sleep a bit longer & refresh your BB's. Otherwise try the oldfast rule to reflux/colic babies & that is to incline their beds on an angle so their heads are higher than the rest of them. I did this in the cot by putting a small blaket rolled up under the head of the mattress. I have bought a hammock for this second baby to help with this in case. Good luck!!! Remember different things work for different babies so find what works for you & yours.

[Carrie]

Just wanted to say that my bub was also really colicky and had reflux. I tried everything, my pead said that most remedies don't really do anything, but I tried them anyway...he said to me that she would probably grow out of it at about 12 weeks. He was right, at 12 weeks she really started to settle down and now usually feeds fine.(My bubs is not BF anymore, but it's still a similar situation and my change to formula was nothing to do with her colic and reflux.)

[~Saram~]

How are you going? Always remember that if you are worried about not being a good mum then you are the BEST MUM IN THE WORLD. Even if it doesn't feel like you know what you are foing at the moment, it will get better. Just hang in there!