My DS is 2 weeks off being 12 months old. He is incredibly active, verging on hyperactive at times! He has just started walking, is very 'chatty' and extremely 'busy'.
The problem is...he is a NIGHTMARE to get to sleep (day and night). He is still breastfed (usually loooves the boob) and has basically almost always been fed or rocked to sleep (have tried NCSS techniques, but we can't get past being fed to 'drowsy' state and rocked to almost asleep, then into cot). During the day, I also use the pram or the car to get him to sleep!
Despite having a bedtime routine, I CANNOT get him to 'wind down'. He just gets really hyperactive and progressively more overtired (usually is still v happy despite being red eyed from tiredness). He sometimes gets sleepy during books, yawns, I feed him, then all of a sudden, he sits bolt upright, laughing, excited, very happy and ready to play (although clearly overtired??). Its like the milk gives him more fuel to keep going??
I've tried putting him down at first signs of tiredness. Doesn't seem to work. Tried waiting till he is really tired. That doesn't seem to work either.
Most of the time I have to try 2 or 3 times to get him down (30-60 mins between attempts). Bedtime ended up being 10pm at one stage.
I'm trying him on only one day sleep at the moment and that helps in an earlier bedtime, yet it is still very difficult. He then wakes on average every 3 hours during the night - I feed him, then rock (just a few mins usually).
I'm tired. I constantly stress about how to get him to nap and sleep. I dread bedtime. I'm paranoid that everyone thinks I've created my own monster because I refuse to CIO and because I'm still feeding him so frequently. I'm doubting myself and my ability. To be honest, I'm feeling a bit 'trapped' as I am not going to budge on letting him cry, yet, I'd really like to NOT spend my whole existence trying to get him to sleep! I don't know what to do next.
Any suggestions, explanations or just words of support would be much appreciated!
Hello and welcome! I read your post last night, and at midnight, I was still trying to get my little man to sleep. I tried cc with my daughter, but didn't like it, so am avoiding it with my boy. He too feeds to sleep, and this worked great, when he would stay asleep when I would put him down, but generally, he now wakes as soon as I try to put him down. I hear you on the car for getting to sleep!
I don't know if the milk is giving your DS the extra energy to keep going as you say, but I would think it better to give him milk and keep his little tummy more satisfied through the night, so at least he doesn't wake hungry.
The only thing I can suggest (and I am sorry that it is very little), is a relaxing bath for him just before his bedtime (whatever time you decide to work that at the moment, even if it is a bit 'late', you can slowly work on making it earlier). J&J have a lavender baby night time bath, and I am sure there are others out there, or even better if you added your own essential oils.
I stressed for ages on not being able to get my kids to sleep, and thought that it would be as simple that 'when they are tired they will go to sleep', but that didn't happen. Don't be paranoid about what other people think, you are doing a great job, and trying different things. Sorry, I don't know what CIO is (I struggle with lots of the abbreviations ). Don't doubt yourself, I know its hard, but you can do it.
I'm really sorry I haven't been able to offer much help (if any), but I just wanted to give you a bit of positive support, and let you know that you are not alone with these struggles. BB (BellyBelly) is a really supportive place, and I hope you like here as much as I do (I get in trouble from my Man about spending too much time on here ). Welcome again, and , you'll get there.
Thanks Netix for you welcome and words of support!
He does have a bath as part of the bedtime routine - it almost seems to wake him up more and make him more hyperactive!?
The last couple of nights he has started biting me when I try to feed him to sleep...Not pleasant. I've resorted to sitting on the couch with him on my lap, tickling his face whilst we watch TV - seems to calm him down and is how I've got him to a 'sleepy' state the last couple of nights (I always thought TV was a cardinal sin before bedtime??). I've then been able to 'bounce' him to sleep on the fit ball in his room.
How do you cope with the 'getting to sleep' difficulties with mulitple kids?? I often think that I would not be able to do what I do if I had more than one baby???
No advice sorry! Just want to say I feel your pain. I think the fun is just beginning for us too. The last two nights I have been chasing him around the house at bedtime. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. DS has also just started walking, do you think that has something to do with it?? Oh and he also has separation anxiety atm..
We breastfeed to sleep too..once I can pin him down! That sounds terrible doesn't it?
Hey, that's okay, anytime. Well, the time that I can get to reply anyway! I read your reply earlier today, but didn't have time to post. And now, I have *just* put Ryan down, replied to a pm, and now I am replying to you. At 10.38 at night. I don't know how I cope with the struggle of getting more than one to sleep (or the struggles of more than one for getting anything done). I just do. I *guess* lots of Mums are the same; we just do what it is that needs doing. As much planning and forethought that I have about how my day (actually, forget "day", just any "going to do anything" event, like "going to .... somewhere") will go, it never quite happens that way. Like I have a mental plan of what to do to get the three of us ready to leave the house, and something always gets added (either by the kids/I remember something/or phone call or email problem to solve for work). Normally right before we are about to walk out the door!
Ooops, sorry about the babble on there!
Hmm, bathtime... Steph was a bit of a terror about having baths at bedtime too, so I would give her a bath earlier in the day (and not very often ). Maybe try giving DS a bath in the morning?
hi attc, I have am new to BB too (although have been reading it for ages).
You poor thing, that sounds like very hard work. My DS is 15 months old and has also always been rocked, fed, bounced etc to sleep. We have had times when he has been really really hard to get to sleep and it is so so frustrating so I feel your pain.
Anyway I just wanted to let you know that for some miraculous reason my DS has suddenly started to accept being put into his cot after bf and story and being patted and sung to sleep. We have a big cot and I generally get into the cot with him to pat him so I don't have to lean over. I really don't know why or how this change happened so perhaps it is not that helpful for you. But I do think it shows using gentle methods to help your bub sleep does not mean that you will always be bouncing them - I think they do learn and change at their own pace, and hopefully they will gradually be able to do more of the going to sleep work for themselves and we will have to do less to help them.
A couple of ideas which you may already have thought of - I try to say to my DS 'first x, then y, then z, then sleepy time' 'now we will do y, then z, then sleepy time' etc so that he knows bed time is coming. Can you lie down with him at bed time? And act very relaxed Do you have anyone who can help with putting him to sleep? Sometimes tag teaming seems to work for us.
Also, a friend of mine has a very active, full on little boy and she has tried to encourage him to have quiet times during the day (not sleep related) where they will ie sit down and read a book or something else quiet, so that he can hopefully get the idea of relaxing and calming down.
Other than that, I think if the tv thing is working perhaps just use it, at least for a while, so that you don't have to keep feeling so stressed about bedtime. You sound like you are doing a good job I think
oh, and I have spent hours bouncing my DS on the fit ball - sometimes to distract myself I would concentrate on using it to do pelvic floor exercises while bouncing!
12mth old REALLY fights going to sleep
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I stressed for ages on not being able to get my kids to sleep, and thought that it would be as simple that 'when they are tired they will go to sleep', but that didn't happen. Don't be paranoid about what other people think, you are doing a great job, and trying different things. Sorry, I don't know what CIO is (I struggle with lots of the abbreviations 
). Don't doubt yourself, I know its hard, but you can do it.
). Welcome again, and 
, you'll get there.
I don't know how I cope with the struggle of getting more than one to sleep (or the struggles of more than one for getting anything done). I just do. I *guess* lots of Mums are the same; we just do what it is that needs doing. As much planning and forethought that I have about how my day (actually, forget "day", just any "going to do anything" event, like "going to .... somewhere") will go, it never quite happens that way. Like I have a mental plan of what to do to get the three of us ready to leave the house, and something always gets added (either by the kids/I remember something/or phone call or email problem to solve for work). Normally right before we are about to walk out the door!
). Maybe try giving DS a bath in the morning?
Ryan awake! Be back tomorrow!
Do you have anyone who can help with putting him to sleep? Sometimes tag teaming seems to work for us.
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