Am I being selfish?

[Shades]

Not sure this is quite the right section but not sure where would be better...

Since my son was born we have co-slept and bfed to sleep... He is a good sleeper in terms of how long he sleeps for but he doesn't do it independently... He often wakes and needs resettling until I go to bed with him, and while it only takes 5-20 mins to feed him back to sleep on those evening wakings, it means that I can't take up any of the offers of babysitting that I've had... In case he wakes while I'm out. I don't believe that it's hunger that wakes him so I figure I should be able to fit in at least a movie or something... that wouldn't take more than 3hrs at the absolute longest.
So I'm looking at getting the NCSS but I feel bad, because the reason I'm feeling a strong need to do this is because I have recently begun a new relationship, and while she is totally not bothered by my needing to jump up to see to him in the middle of watching a movie and cuddling on the couch, I would kind of like to have the opportunity for some grown-up time to focus on us... just occasionally.
I feel like I'm pushing my son into sleeping more independently (we'll continue co-sleeping, not planning on moving him to a cot, just encouraging more self-settling) not because I think it's best for him but because it's something I want for myself... does that make me selfish? Is it bad to be selfish, just this once?

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Could you get a babysitter who your son knows really well and who would cuddle him back to sleep? When I was staying with my mum, she heard my son and I didn't (they have a HUGE house and I don't so had forgotten to turn on the monitor!), so she picked him up, took him into her bed and he was amazed the next morning to wake up in Nanna's bed rather than mine. If you get one person to just do one night a month it's amazing what opportunities you have to do things!

[Mak]

Great idea LZ!!! It is not selfish to recognise you have needs as well, it is much better to be aware of this stuff and plan for it, IMHO rather than get burnt out and resentful (extreme but possible). Could you do a trial with just a few hours out? Do you have someone who will follow your wishes? I have found that my kids have always responded differently to other people than me (ie they sleep beautifully and are very well behaved, grrrhhh) as they do know the difference. Whatever you decide - pls do not feel bad for wanting to carve out some space and time for yourself. I think it is underrated and really important too. Take care and good luck! x

[Shades]

I think my mum would happily take him but she's done her back so she can't hold him for very long... She has successfully cuddled him to sleep before but it took a while and her back just wouldn't cope now. She couldn't even pick him up as she cannot bend and our mattress is on the floor currently. I don't have anyone else.