Im sure there are a million of these threads, but I don't have much time in the precious moments while Peter sleeps, so I have to ask you all for your assistance instead of reading through old threads.
Peter has been a good sleeper, but its all going awry now. Gradually his ability to settle himself for a nap has been getting worse and I have got into the habit of picking him up cuddling him to sleep (or back to sleep). This has been working pretty well, but instead of becoming an occasional thing, he is becoming dependant on it. I really do want to teach him to self settle as much as he is able to....I know he can because he has done it lots before- just not now!
So we have decided to go with a kind of comforted sleep route- basically, put him down when tired, if he cries, gently pat and wiggle his cot a bit and try to soothe him without picking him up- once he's settled, leave the room to let him go to sleep and if he cries again, we try to let him settle himself for a minute or two and if he doesn't, then we go in and pat and repeat, and repeat, and repeat.
Sounds like a great theory, but this morning has been a disaster. I tried all the patting etc and he just kept crying and crying and crying. We went through this for about 45 minutes when I decided we were not getting anywhere, so I got him up and had a little play and when he was calm, I put him down again and we tried all over. And he cried...and cried.....and cried. Eventually I took him for a walk and he fell asleep nicely in his pram.
Help! I feel like I haven't gotten anywhere! Am I doing something wrong? What should I do? Is this even worth it?
I know there are lots of different sleep theories and I'm so freaking confused!
Aw, Jessica. I remember Natty's sleeping turned topsy-turvy around 4 months too.
Ok, you are right, there are lots of different sleep theories out there. In this thread you'll find people subscribe to comforted sleeping where you'll get loads of support if you want to continue to cuddle Peter to sleep, or use the pram or wear him - however you'd like to get him to sleep without crying.
Then there are other methods, like your patting etc (which I started to do with Natty at around 3.5 months as she would get terribly upset in my arms and so it was easier and quicker to settle her in the cot). If you'd like to keep trying with this one (and it sounds like that's what you'd like to do, judging from what you were saying in your post) then the big thing is to try to be consistent with him. If you'd like to settle him in the cot it may well take a few days for him to get the hang of it. They may well be the longest three days of your life! But if you are consistent and as calm as you can be it will happen for you both. I used to get Natty to have her morning and afternoon sleeps in her cot, then her late afternoon sleep would be in the pram while we went for a walk. This worked really well for us for some time.
I'm sorry, I don't think I've been much help, but it is really up to you as to how you want to settle your bubs. Please don't let any books etc tell you that you must do things their way if you want a 'good' baby who sleeps all the time. They are all a load of crap. Best thing is to follow your instincts and stick with a routine and/or technique that works for you and Peter. GL with it, matey.
Thanks Amy. I persisted for the rest of the day trying my patting method and briefly picking up when that wasn't working and it was a DISASTER. Nothing I did would stop the crying. The patting etc wouldn't soothe him. By that stage even holding him wouldn't soothe him. In desperation I tried to let him cry it out for a little while- I just couldn't do that for very long, but there was no sign of that working in the slightest either.
So I am back to my usual- dummy and cuddles. I am sick to death of getting up 6 times each night to put the dummy in, and I am worried I am wiping out his ability to self settle by always cuddling him, but it has to be better than today. Pure hell.
Anyone know at what age they learn to find the dummy themselves??
jessica- have you tried putting ds in a sling,like a hab, and letting him fall asleep in that for day sleeps. he still seems very young to me to be expected to self settle all the time.
He will usually fall asleep on me (carried or held), but he is a bit over 8kg now (Big Boy!!), and I am pretty small, so carrying him in anything is getting very difficult and hard on my back!
My DS did basically the same thing smack on 5 months. He kept knocking his dummy out and waking himself up. I also wrapped him and it was about that time he didn't want to be wrapped but couldn't sleep without being wrapped.
Despite the fact that it seems like it will go on forever, from the sounds of it he just wants his mummy at the moment which is an entirely normal and healthy thing. You won't 'spoil' him by helping him to settle, in fact you will teach him that mummy is right there and he will gradually learn to self settle with time. I agree with the sling suggestion, I know they can be heavy to lug around but it is so much better than having to deal with an unsettled crying bub. It is a exhausting job but it does pay divedends. Just think before you know it he will be a pimpley teen who is still asleep at 2.00pm on the weekends driving you nuts.
Another cry for help! Napping is a disaster...
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Jessica. I remember Natty's sleeping turned topsy-turvy around 4 months too.
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