I have tried everything from wrapping and not feeding and not even phenergan which made things worse I don't know what to do anymore I don't want to co sleep but that seems to be what is happening at the moment so we all end up with a restless nights sleep!
Ok now I have time I will extend upon this...
Declan has never slept through once things are really starting to get to me now I am just so damn tired.
We have put Declan in a single bed and got rid of his cot as he seemed to feel blocked in and since changing to a single bed he starting sleeping better. Basically he sleeps for about 4hrs and then wakes sometimes I give him a dummy and he nods back off, I usually put him to bed unwrapped as he sleeps a bit longer but once he wakes he has to be wrapped up pr he wont go back to sleep.
Lately he has been sleeping his 4hrs and then another 1-2 and then waking right up and it takes like 1 - 2 hrs to get him back to sleep and lately I have been that knackered I have brought him into bed with us where he usually after awhile settles him self (damn I wish he would do this in his own bed) If I am in his room with him he will lay there generally Ill rub his back etc etc to try and get him to nod back off but if he realises I have left the room he wakes up again and am back to square one. I try not to talk to him or make direct eye contact etc but still he wants me to be there.
I have tried controlled crying, I have tried natural products like baby calm and things I was ever told by a doctor to use phenergan which didn't work. I don't know what else to do. I would like to have another baby as I wanted them close together but with him sleeping like this it is really out of the question.
but mroe importantly what else can I try I have even tried eliminating things from his diet feeding him more but nothing seems to help!
Last edited by becky23; May 31st, 2007 at 12:29 PM.
Weve had the same thing pretty much up until now. Weve just shifted Sammy into his own room out of our bed/sidecar and its working a treat. Sammy slept for a solid 5 hours last night which is the most hes ever done ever!!! I know its frustrating..have you thought about having his cot in your room or attaching it to your bed so you can at least have some extra room?
Violet is 26 months and she STILL wakes in the night!! Last night she was awake allll night just about! She just couldn't sleep. I have been thinking maybe it's something she is consuming that causes her to become restless... so I am cutting out all sugary drinks and I will see how she goes.
Sorry I don't have any advise, just thought I would share.
Hi Becky - great to see a photo of Declan in your ticker, I can't believe how big he's getting!! Not sure if our story will help, but just in case...
Lucy did this back a few months ago and it just about drove me to distraction. I was happy for her to cosleep while that worked, but she then thought that meant party time. I then went to putting her back into her cot and staying with her, which worked for a while. Then she thought as long as I was in the room, why bother sleeping? So then I would leave her. She gave a couple of cries the first time and then stopped. Since then she actually tries to get into her cot when she's ready to go to bed. In the last couple of weeks she's had a cold and it's getting colder at night, so she has woken up sometimes. I have brought her into bed with us once or twice, and if she goes back to sleep, she stays, if she doesn't, I put her back into her own bed. And I must confess to doing the slightly un-gentle thing and if she doesn't settle in the time she normally does, I leave her to her own devices. And turn the monitor off... Very guilty feeling! But that's only happened a couple of times
My 15 month old sleeps better in his own bed. If he is with us it gives him cause to stay awake. He now sleeps in a cot in his sisters room after torturing us for a month with night wakings from 1- 3 hours every night. He then just woke to be resettled a couple of times at night but in the last week we have all had colds which has made it worse. HIs record was up for 4 hours on monday nighht, my husband held him (in anger( and it kept bubby awake. i eventually went in at 5am (my hubby had not slept at all, poor possum, his coughing kept him up until bubby woke at 1) and put him in his cot. he screamed his head off, i held him there on his side while he tried to get up to climb out to me but in 5 minutes he was sleeping
from a whole lot of experience with 2 diabolical sleepers and because you are pregnant i think you should probably decide upon a sleep technique and stick to it, either that or resign yourself to cosleeping but be warned - cosleeping is first class for baby and he will want none of economy class when it comes time for little baby to come. it will be much harder on declan to let him cosleep and then put a stop to it. i am speaking from terrible heartbreaking experience here
when he wakes he wants your attention, he gets it, it makes him happy and the attention you are giving him actually feeds the problem and makes him wake more
you can try reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley which is wonderful or you can go a bit tougher but more effective with the baby whisperer solves all your problems but still doesn't leave baby to be abandoned and despairing
i myself have given up on these gentle techniques and bubby is getting a sedative for teh next few nights while i try to recover from this flu and get some sleep back and then i am going to do the weak version of controlled crying involving only 3 minute gaps and more drugs (a la christopher green)
good luck and pm me if you want more detail as to how i got my babies to sleep better before this cold came through and reignited the flame of neverending wakefulness!
i know where you are at, i am at a critical level of sleep deprivation myself and its not pretty, it makes me a bad bad mother and an unpleasant person
sometimes it makes me want to unleash an AK47 on my family, but thankfully those days are rare
It's normal for babies and children to wake every few hours in the night and it's one of the reasons I've coslept with both of mine. Even if we wake we don't stay awake long and no one has to get up, go into another room and wait to calm a child down. If you read some information about how babies sleep, it is utterly normal, natural and healthy for them to wake. They sleep longer as they get older. My three and a half year old still wakes at night from time to time. He didn't "sleep through" (which is actually five hours in a row, btw, not all night) until he was well over two. That's ok They can't do what their brains aren't equipped for so making it as easy as possible to respond and recognising that night waking is normal goes a long way towards relieving any stress caused by it. Pinky McKay, Anni Gethin and Beth MacGregor, Dr Sears, Dr Sarah Buckley, Dr James McKenna all parents, all authors, all agree, night waking is normal. They won't be twelve and still waking you up, this time is only a little time in our lives.
My bub is waking up all night long too and will not sleep in her cot no matter how many times I put her in it.....but I can understand why she is doing this and totally agree with you Janet - I have also read Pinky McKay, Dr Sears and just recently read the baby sleep book by Anni Gethin and Beth MacGregor, which is excellent and definitely a recommended read to try and understand how babies differ from adults in their sleeping habits. It is frustrating but I think it is just the way it is for the moment and all I can do is go with the flow for the time being or it will end in tears for all of us.
Sorry this isn't much help for you but I do sympathise.
Laurin
Yes I agree it is normal for babies to wake, but what is not normal is what Declan and Fox (my baby) does and that is wake a few times per night and STAY AWAKE to play, sometimes for up to 4 hours. He does this if he cosleeps or if he sleeps in the room with his sister, he actually goes back to sleep quicker if he is in his own bed because Mummy and Daddy are so lovely that he wants to play with them. The reason we stopped cosleeping instead of 50% cot and 50% cosleeping is that he would be roused more by cosleeping than sleeping alone.
He goes to sleep fine by himself, he gets his milk and lays in his cot and his sister sings him a lullaby from her bed and they go to sleep, he just then wakes up, sometimes he is hungry, but he also wants to be entertained. Its not all horrible, he is always in an extremely good mood when he sees us.
I have used phenergan since tuesday night (it is now saturday), giving him a small dose at 10pm which takes him through until morning, it does not leave him groggy or grumpy. he is 12kgs and i find i can use as little as 3.5ml to do the job. vallergan is much stronger and i dont think i would resort to that.
Our family is at breaking point because of the sleep deprivation and i am becoming an extremely angry person, a bad and unkind mother, and an awful partner. Last night was the first night EVER that all 5 of us slept all the way through the night until morning. It was the second night in over 3 years that i have slept all the way through the night and not been troubled by someone wanting something, a drink, a trip to the toilet, some milk, a cuddle, a nappy change, some 24 hour disco action. I woke up today a completely different and new person, i didn't want to cry when i woke up, i didnt have to trudge around in a foul mood, i was a lot more tolerant of my stepsons typical 12 year old behaviour, it was wonderful.
Children from the age of 40 weeks (10 months) are capable of sleeping through the night, any earlier and that is training on behalf of the parent. i think by 10 months we should be able to encourage children to try to sleep though and not be made to feel guilty about being a bad and unavailable parent.
I felt guilty about giving the drugs but at some point a parent needs to do something when the behaviour of a child (as in keeping the parent up so much at night) is affecting their ability to parent and affecting their enjoyment of life. I had to break a stalemate and i will continue to give phenergan to the love of my life for a few more days so i can build up the strength to deal with this child between 1 and 4am every single night and try to function the next day. So I defend my right to take action to stop a very unhealthy and damaging situation.
I agree that the time frame is short but that is only if you dont have two kids close together whose night waking actually overlaps and the younger child has been passed the insomnia baton from the older child.
So girl, if you are about to hit the wall and it is not just bad for you but BAD for you, you do what you need to do.
PM me if you want, but i think bubby Declan is just waking for attention and love
14mths and still wakes 3 times sometimes more
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They can't do what their brains aren't equipped for so making it as easy as possible to respond and recognising that night waking is normal goes a long way towards relieving any stress caused by it. Pinky McKay, Anni Gethin and Beth MacGregor, Dr Sears, Dr Sarah Buckley, Dr James McKenna all parents, all authors, all agree, night waking is normal. They won't be twelve and still waking you up, this time is only a little time in our lives.
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