Help Weaning Off Wrap and BFing to Sleep!!!

[Merbaby]

Hi Everyone

This is the first time I've posted here, and I'm glad I found this forum - I think it's just what I need!

My beautiful little, almost 8 month old daughter Lucia and I are having some real issues with sleep! The main issue being that I am trying to wean her off her wrap, with no success so far. We have been wrapping her since birth, quite firmly, in those 'straight jacket style' stretch cotton ones with the velcro, as they were the only ones she wouldn't unwrap herself from. Even then she usually gets her arms out if she's feeling determined enough.

So at the moment, the only way I can get her to go to sleep is to wrap her and then breast feed her to sleep, and then hold her for a while and put her carefully into her cot. I have had the odd success with having one arm out, but can't seem to progress from there.

I used to be able to put her down sleepy but awake in her cot, leave the room and have her go peacefully to sleep within minutes, but that all changed at around 4 months when she had a really horrible outbreak of eczema, when the ONLY way I could get her to sleep, or even to comfort her when she was so uncomfortable, was to feed her. She thankfully got through the eczema out break with the help of a wonderful paediatric dermatologist (after several Dr's who were completely useless). She still has eczema, but we have it under control most of the time now, thankfully (it was heartbreaking for all of us), but we now have a firmly entrenched habit.

We really need to stop the wrapping as a priority, considering we don't have air con, and it gets so hot in our house! The few really hot days/nights we've had so far, we've attempted to get her to go to sleep unwrapped, but it has involved literally hours of trying to settle her, and her just getting really upset and more wide awake. We ended up dampening her wrap and putting it on her, as it was really the only way she would sleep (she would then be asleep within minutes, with me feeding her), but this isn't ideal, as the wrap does dry pretty quickly and then it's just going to be too hot. We have a ceiling fan which we put on high, but it doesn't really do a whole lot.

I am trying at least once a day to get her to go to sleep unwrapped, and putting her in her cot awake (without success). I originally thought it better to only try to break one habit at a time, but even though I can now sometimes get her to fall asleep while unwrapped by BFing her, there is no way I can transfer her to her cot that way without her waking. So every day, usually in the afternoon, when she starts to get tired I put her in her cot unwrapped and awake with a couple of toys. She starts off OK, and is happy to play around in there a bit, but she starts to get a bit frustrated and I end up giving up after about an hour or more of her being nowhere near going to sleep but getting increasingly irritable. When she starts actually crying (as opposed to just being a bit whiny, when I can go and settle her down with a few pats and a bit of comfort) I will admit defeat and wrap her and BF her to sleep.

One problem that makes this even harder, is that she has an awful habit of scratching her head when she's tired. I don't believe her scalp is really itchy because it looks perfectly clear, but I think it's a habit leftover from when she had the bad outbreak of eczema. I cut her fingernails as best I can, but they're still really sharp and she gets little scratches on her head which is awful (mittens etc are no good as she can get them off). The wrapping usually prevents this from happening. I am really worried about what we will do over Summer! Thankfully it hasn't really been all that hot recently, but it will get hot and we just can't continue wrapping her in 30+ heat!

I wondered if maybe I should try to get her to fall asleep by herself first, wrapped, and then worry about the wrap thing after I've got that sorted? The only problem is that it may take a while to train her back into doing that, and I feel that we may not have time before it starts getting hot again!

If anyone has any ideas I would really really appreciate them!

Thank you in advance!

Monique

[RoyaUK]

My DD2 is the same - without the eczema. She's just turned 9 months and is wrapped and BF to sleep. Works wonderfully up to about 24 degs then it all starts getting too hot as we don't have air-con either.

We're also looking for gentle ways to wean off the wrap and the BF to sleep......will be following this thread for advice too!

[~Raven~]

I've not had the wrap problem as I never really did it but I've BF all of mine to sleep and found that as they weaned themselves off the breast during the day at around 12 months then they didn't need it to sleep anymore.

8 months is a very clingy age and a little bit difficult due to stuff like teething and big developmental milestones (crawling etc) so it may not be the best time to be getting rid of things that she finds comfort in, but if you were to try one thing I would be inclined to keep feeding her to sleep and getting rid of the wrap.

I think mis_tree has given a good tip there too

[Merbaby]

Thanks for the advice ladies.

mis_tree, We have also tried socks on her hands (that go all the way to her elbows). She gets them off within seconds. She's a very strong and determined little thing! I will perservere with one arm out, but I just don't seem to be able to progress past that!

Thanks again and looking forward to some more ideas!

Monique

[mollycat]

Is it possible to unwrap her after she has fallen asleep and her to remain asleep, or perhaps use a sheet to mimic a wrap, ie, tuck it in around her, but as she moves it will loosen, perhaps having to pat her back to sleep, with the tucked in sheet around her, hand on her shoulder and pat her bottom.

[Ginger]

monique- have you read 'no cry sleep solutions' by elizabeth panty? she has some good ideas in there for this sort of thing.
i just wanted to second what raven said about the bfing to sleep. the same thing has happened with my ds. he was constantly bfed to sleep until about 12 months when he gradually just stopped needing it, all by himself

[aimz78]

i second to keep the BFing to sleep as it is a lot to drop all at once. Could you possibly start introducing other cues to sleep, such as a "cuddly"( stroke her face with it while she is drifting off) or music to help that association and then you can slowly take away the wrap or replace it with a light cloth tucked in tight. I also agree that this is a time for lots of milestones etc which seems to make them unsettled (my dd same age!). Also, i know it is still hot but could you put her down in just a nappy and a light muslin wrap? I also found that taking away the wrap for a day sleep seemed to help her learn gradually to do without it at night
I hope her sleep improves soon.

[Merbaby]

Hi everyone,

Thank you all so much for your advice with this!

I've already had two successes today with putting her in her cot awake and having her go peacefully to sleep!!! Both times it was after a feed, but I didn't let her go to sleep feeding. The first time she did cry a little bit, but I patted her and soothed her and she was asleep within about 2 minutes! The second time she didn't cry at all and was perfectly calm - but took about 20 minutes of me patting her to go to sleep! I would have left the room but wanted to make sure she didn't wriggle out of her wrap because then I would have had to start all over again and I just didn't have the energy for that! Anyway, she did it and I'm so proud of her! I've had to go and re-settle her three times so far since putting her to bed tonight, but it's only taken a few minutes each time. Lets hope she stays asleep for at least a few hours now (still waking a few times overnight too but hopefully I can train her out of that too soon!)

Raven, It's reassuring to hear someone say that their child has weaned themselves from being breastfed to sleep. It must feel good to tell all those know it alls who tell you you're creating a huge problem for yourself! You're so right about the teething etc too - thank goodness she's coping pretty well with that (already has two teeth and I have a feeling there's more not far)

mollycat, I have thought about unwrapping her once she's asleep, but I'm too scared! Once she's asleep I usually don't want to do anything that could change that, but maybe I'll give it a go when I'm feeling brave! I liked your idea about tucking the sheet in around her, but she really flings her arms around when not wrapped and I can't imagine it lasting more than a split second!

Rainforest, I AM reading "No Cry Sleep Solutions", I just got impatient and thought you girls might be able to help me a bit quicker! I will keep reading it though as I'm really getting into it! See what I said to Raven about self-weaning from breastfeeding to sleep...

aimz78, We do have other sleep cues, like reading books to her, soft music, me singing to her etc, it's just that up until now, without the feed, none of them have meant much! The problem with putting her down in just a nappy and wrap is that she will scratch her tummy/chest (whether she has active eczema there or not - another bad habit). We dress her very lightly for bed in hot weather though. See what I said to Raven about the milestones too!

Thank you all again for taking the time to reply to me, I really appreciate it. You've all helped me in some way, even if just to help keep me motivated! I hope you all get some sleep tonight!

Monique

[Ezz]

I would focus on getting her to self-settle wrapped first, then worry about getting rid of the wrap.

Have a look here for a discussion about getting rid of the wrap for my DS.