co sleeping

[Loula]

OK so with DS spending a few days in NICU with his bed proped up we did the same at home for a while.

Over the last week he has become harder to settle for a sleep, the routine is he usually falls asleep on one of us and we transfer him, i guess all babies make noises but i tend to just at these due to his breathing issues from birth.

Lately in the mornings i have been lying him besides me in bed to feed, boy oh boy is he content with this! (and i love it)

so last night was a little difficult to settle (i wont have him crying) so i lay him beside me and within minutes he was asleep and stayed that was for over 6 hours! i love co sleeping and have always done it with nieces and nephews when we have babysat (DH goes to the spare room lol)

I just know if IL's find out i will never hear the end of it, but it is what i want to do. DH will be moving to the spare room tomorrow as he is returning to work on Monday and will need better unbroken sleep.

I guess i just want to ask how you secure the safety of such a little newborn baby when co sleeping? what can i do to protect him while with me.

ive placed him away from the pillow and avoid bringing the covers up to him as he is covered with his blankets.

We still continue to put him in his bassinett during the day but he makes so many noises, not like when he is sleeping with his mummy.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

We have DD in with us and DP sleeps holding her. I don't trust myself to. But when its just me and him if he has work early i put her on her belly on his side and i sleep on my side. We both can sleep for hours like this.

She is very unsettled in her cot or bassinet. It may take a while to get her into her cot but we love co sleeping i love waking up to her smiles in the morning.

[Cherished]

Hi Loula, I have the understanding that it's really unsafe to put bubs in your bed without proper protection for bubs, obviously when sleeping you you don't really know how you will move etc. you can buy little co-sleepers, I 'think' I've even seen them in BigW, I guess Target would have them too and baby shops for sure, we were given ours and can't wait to use it. If you google snuggle nest you can see what they look like.

[Nai]

I co-slept with DD2 as she was very similar to your DS. I found that I would sleep on my side with my arm under DD's head. It is very difficult to roll in this position but easy for bubs to access the breast. Don't have any pillows or blankets around them and also make sure they sleep on the side away from your DH. From what I have heard/read, the mother will not roll on the baby instinctively but the father doesn't generally have that same instinct and can roll on them (however, seeing that your DH is moving to the spare room that won't matter as much). Make sure you don't drink alcohol/smoke/take drugs etc while co-sleeping.

If you take all the precautions it is very safe and genrally means better sleep for mum and baby (at least it did for us and pretty much everyone else I have known who has done it)

[Heaven]

Actually it's not unsafe at all if you follow the guidelines like nai has said. Google safe cosleeping guidelines. Studies have shown a mother will instinctively not roll on her baby in the night and it's actually safer as the mum's breathing helps regulate bubs! Clever!! We got much more rest with cosleeping.

[diva det]

the risk of sids is lower when you co-sleep!!!!
it is actually safer to co- sleep than it is not to- think about SIDS rates in 3rd world countries where co-sleeping is a way of life compared to first world countries where babies sleeping in cots is the 'norm'
the main safety things are not to sleep alcohol or drug affected, not with heavy blankets and on their backs

Cherished it is not unsafe at all- you dont need any special protection to co-sleep at all- have a look at the research on the net if you are still not convinced! In fact the benefits for co-sleeping are far greater than the disadvantages for both mum and bubs!!!
horses for courses- if its your thing then do it!! But its definately safer than sleeping in a cot!!! The research out there backs this fact up!!!

[OceanPrincess]

Yep I pretty much did the same as Nai with my DS - with a cyclonic toddler who wore me out during the day, getting up in the middle if the night was so difficult!

And freezing cold - me and bubs were both warmer lying in bed together.

As cherished has mentioned, there are co-sleeping devices that you could look into but I think most people don't really bother with them.

The only thing I did differently to Nai is my arm was just above DS's head, but same concept, with my arm out like that it was virtually impossible to roll.

I'd put DS down in his cradle (now cot) then when he woke for his early morning feed it'd ve straight into bed with us. Then he'd be back into his cot once my DD woke. So we only coslept for a few hours each night.

We've stopped now - but only because I was getting a stiff neck from the position I was lying in!

We had one funny moment where DD was sick and was waking up at 4, 5am... DH started bringing her into our bed as well - so we'd have DS on the outside (with a pillow so he didn't fall out), then me, then DD and then DH. Poor DH (6'2" and about 120kg) would end up with his butt hanging off the edge of the bed and growled at me one morning "we need a bigger bed!!!"

[OceanPrincess]

Oh Loula I also meant to say yay for you - sounds like you are starting to trust your instincts and if cosleeping is going to work for you guys, do it.

Happy, rested mum = happy, rested baby. It'll help your milk suppy too.

[Tanya]

Hey lou Just shared a link on FB for you
xx

[HotI]

The only thing I did differently to Nai is my arm was just above DS's head, but same concept, with my arm out like that it was virtually impossible to roll.

This is how i do it too.

[Nai]

I forgot to say the reason I had her up a bit on my arm was that she was a very chucky baby and raising her a bit helped us not be sleeping in spew after the night feeds So if you have a chucker then this position makes a difference as they are not completely flat.

[MummaSue]

Loula, we co- sleep and have done since 2 days after coming home from the hospital. DD just hated the bassinet and DH suggested that she come in with us. Since that day she has been an awesome night sleeper and only wakes for feeds and we all just drift off back to sleep.

This might sound weird but DH and I have separate blankets (he likes a doonah and I just like a thin blanket) so we don't have the issue of having her go under the covers at all. We swaddle her too as she sleeps better that way - well, we are transitioning at the moment so she has one arm out.

My mother harps on about her sleeping with us all the time. Now I just tell her that she sleeps in her cot. She doesn't need to know what our family does, it's none of her business despite what she might think.

Just recently though, I have taken the side off the cot and it's right next to our bed now. At night we still just roll over and feel and I slide missy into her cot. It's just that she is getting so big and rumbles around a lot, I found that we were waking each other up. Last week DH had a cold, so he slept in the spare room as he was coughing and spluttering all night long and we have all had the best sleeps ever!

Anyway, I research things to death before I do them and have read that co-sleeping is one of the best and most natural things that we can do for our babies. We're a family in the day time, so that should also extend to night time too!

You do whatever works for you Loula, because whatever that is (as long as it's safe), it can't be wrong. And don't let anyone tell you different.

You're doing a wonderful job xxxxx

[OceanPrincess]

We're a family in the day time, so that should also extend to night time too!

That's a really nice way to look at it!

[Janie]

I love that MummaSue!

Lou, as you know, we cosleep too, and I LOVE it. We all do. I do it either like Nai, or OP depending LOL. When he was littler it was always like Nai, with his head on my arm, now sometimes I have my arm above his head, like while he's feeding. If your knees are slightly drawn up too it makes it impossible roll on your baby

I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and it gave you more rest. Of course, it is horses for courses, but just do whatever works for you hun. (BTW, my ILs don't know we cosleep, wouldn't be worth the discussions!).

ETA I can't tell you how much more rested I am this time around, not having to get out of bed in the night!

[RoyaUK]

Congratulations Loula! And well done to you for following your instincts and enjoying co-sleeping. I have co-slept with all 3 girls in the night at various points and in different ways (either starting in the cot then transferring around midnight or starting in the bed....whatever worked!).

I found i'm always aware of the baby in my sleep and wake up exactly as i fell asleep unless i conciously turn the other way i,e, away from the baby. DH on the other hand sleeps too deeply and doesn't seem to have that awareness inbuilt. To be honest he has spent much of the last 4 yrs in the spare room getting a lovely 8 hrs sleep a night but that works well for our family. He's useless on no sleep and needs to function 100% during the day at work and i'm a SAHM so i can go slower at home if i've had a hard night.

there are products out there that can make you feel 'safer' if you need them but for me it's not been necessary. And i just love the baby babble in my ear waking me up in the morning. I find my babies are much happier waking up (when starting the day around 6.30am) next to me than in a cot shouting out for me!

Enjoy the snuggles!

[~Hestia~]

Loula, you do what suits you and your family. Don't worry about what your ILs think/say because it's none of their business darl. You sound like you're doing really well at reading and knowing what your little guy needs.
But to answer your question - when my Moo was little I would keep him wrapped and lay him on top of the blankets. I did this because it was winter and we had lots of doona and quilt on so I felt it was safer. Moo still loved it, I would lay him on his back with my arm under his head and sleep curled around him.
Now that he's older he comes into bed between us, under the blankets. He still sleeps with his head on my arm and I curl around him so his feet are touching my thighs and I rest my other arm on his tummy. I figure he can't slip down this way and we wake up in the same position anyway.
Having said all this, my Moo rarely co sleeps sadly! He usually starts to stick his fingers up our noses and in our mouths! It really is lovely though so as I said you do what feels right to you!

[Miss.September]

On the nights we cosleep, I put a pillow at DD's feet so she doesn't wriggle down under the blankets either. Saying that, she's a lot bigger than your DS, Loula, and she wriggles around now a lot! Don't worry about what anyone thinks. If you want to cosleep and you get a better nights sleep because of it, and with the added enjoyment, then do it!

[Loula]

Thanks so much, i love reading all these replies! one thing i will change in our sleep routine from this is to stop lying him on his back next to me, i did have my arm under his head the first night i did this but found it more comfortable above his head.

Another thing i might try is lying him on top of our/my covers however i do like him very close to me.

i was considering one of the sleeping aids but it is clear that many do not bother with this.

DH the first night said to me he sleeps so much better in bed with us, lol (just to add he is only on my outside, side)

Tomorrow we get the bed to ourselves lol!!!

and Tanya great link, thank you xx